| Blood-Stained Rose by Silver Orbs I looked at your crying face and pain suddenly washed over me. One by one, tears fell from your lovely blue eyes and my heart went out to you. I couldn�t bear to see you cry because it hurts me as much as it hurts you. I continued to glance at you and a soft cry escaped my lips. Why won�t you stop weeping? What is the cause of these tears? Has anyone done something to give you so much pain? I caressed your face and a harsh realization awakened me to reality. I stared straight into your eyes and the memories brought themselves back to my mind� * * * I glanced at the watch impatiently. Where are you? I thought, my eyes searching the campus carefully, trying to catch a clue that you are getting near. I grabbed my cellphone from my bag and began dialling your number furiously. I frowned and knitted my brows together when I heard that stupid operator telling me that your phone was unreachable. I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot against the pavement. If you won�t be here in five minutes, I�m going to leave you. Suddenly, strong arms encircled my waist and pulled me closer. �Sorry, Amber, were you waiting that long?� Involuntarily a smile formed on my lips and the frustration and anger I was feeling was suddenly washed away. I gently removed your hands from my waist and slapped your arm playfully. I narrowed my eyes and frowned at you. �Hmmph. You think you can get away with that? I�ve been waiting for 30 minutes here, mind you!� You grinned sheepishly and stared at me guiltily. You looked so darn cute that I had to refrain myself from smiling. At least I could pretend to be a little angry at you, right? After all, you did make me wait for 30 minutes and made me look so STUPID- standing here all alone. �So let�s hear another one of your lame excuses.� �Well� I had to run to the library and borrow this book and�� I cut you off with a sharp look. �Don�t lie to me.� You sighed and gave a soft whistle. �Okay� I was with Chynna.� A sharp jolt of pain suddenly pricked my heart. Chynna Concepcion was one of the prettiest girls on campus. What chance do I have against her? I stole a glance at you, and was once again captivated by your charm. A wave of misery suddenly took over my entity as I looked at you. Here I am standing next to you� standing so close to you� being so near� my best friend. Yeah� that�s all you�re supposed to be for me. But why do I feel something more? Why can�t I just stop these emotions? Well, it�s your fault anyway. For being too sweet, too loving� too caring. I can never find these characteristics with anybody else. You�re the only one who understands me. The only one who gives me small words of encouragement that enable me to go on with this forsaken life. You�re the only one who can make me smile even in my darkest hour. You�re the only one who can complete me. This is all your goddamn fault! �Hey, I thought we were going to watch a movie. C�mon.� I awoke from my reverie and glanced at you. Damn! You were so stunning. Why can�t I get you out of my mind? A smile curved on my lips and I looked at you. �Okay� You grinned and took my hand in yours. I felt electrified with your touch. I smiled and gave a secret sigh. If only we can stay like this forever� �Amber! You won�t believe this!� I quickly dropped the books I was holding and returned the big bear hug you gave me. A quick smile formed on my lips as I stared into your gorgeous silver eyes. �What?� That�s when I saw it. Your face was radiant and your eyes sparkled in a way that I have never seen before. Your smile was very different� different from the ones that you usually gave me. There was another feeling- another emotion in your wonderful eyes. My heart began beating rapidly as I realized what he was going to say to me. I bit my lip and tried to prepare myself for what was coming. But it didn�t help. �Chynna�s my girlfriend!� That was it. A burst of pain exploded inside of me. The one thing I was so scared of happening has been done. You have fallen in love. The only thing that made it hurt so much was that you have fallen for someone else. I was finally faced with the reality that you can never be mine. �So what do you think? Are you happy for me?� I looked up into your irresistible face and I had the sudden urge to tell you everything. How I really felt� the whole truth. Instead I smiled and said� �Yes. Yes I am.� I stumbled into my room and fell down on the floor, choking back a sob. Involuntarily, tears seeped from my eyes as I leaned on the wall, feeling totally helpless. I am so tired. My eyes were so heavy and swollen that I almost couldn�t see. This stupid weeping has gone on for days now and I just couldn�t seem to stop. The ache that was welled up in my heart was too hard to take. My world just shatter when I see you with her, your hands intertwined with each other. I feel so weak. �Amber�� My eyes looked up weakly to see your worried face. A na�ve smile crossed my face and awkward laughter followed. You still cared, after all. You took a step towards me, your concerned face never ceasing. For once I didn�t feel any tingle, any electricity between the two of us. I guess I didn�t have the strength to even think straight anymore. The tears were just eating me up. Sudden warmth cursed through my entirety and I realized that you were holding me gently in your arms. You rocked us back and forth, kissing my head softly. �Amber� it�s going to be all right. Everything�s going to be fine.� My eyes flew open as I heard your words. How can anyone be such an idiot? Were you trying to make a fool out of me? Do you not see my face� my whole being? Do you not feel my emotions? Are you really this fucking dense?! �Bullshit, Ken. It�s never going to be all right.� I struggled to free myself from your embrace and began to stand shakily. Your eyes held a look of amazement and surprise. �Amber, what?!�� �Damn it! You know what? You are the densest person I have ever met!� My eyes flashed and all the anger that was hidden inside began to pour out. I didn�t care about embarrassing myself anymore. It really did hurt and I wanted you to realize just what you were doing to me. �Amber, I don�t understand�� My vision blurred and I realized I was crying. I sobbed and staggered backwards, sobbing uncontrollably. �Of course you don�t understand. You will never understand unless I tell you because you�re too obsessed with your girlfriend!� I saw confusion in your eyes and I began to laugh bitterly. �It�s the truth right? You never did see it in my eyes. You never found the real meaning in all those emotions I have showed you. You didn�t learn to read between the lines. All the care, understanding� everything I gave you. There was another reason behind it. It wasn�t only because I was your friend� that�s just part of the reason. The truth is I�ve fallen� fallen for you.� Your head snapped and your eyes bore through mine, emotions swirling in your eyes� even the ones I couldn�t decipher. Your lips opened as if to speak. But I cut you off. �You know what? Just shut up. Shut up and listen.� I said, spite in every syllable. �I�m fed up. I�m tired of loving you and making a fool out of myself. I�m tired of sacrificing everything because I love you.� My voice was breaking but I willed myself to go on. �I know I�ve made a mistake in loving you because I know you will never love me back. It was a mistake in loving you because you�re supposed to be my best friend and I�m not supposed to feel anything else. I�m supposed to be happy for you and Chynna because you�re together and I can see how much you care for each other. But I�m not. Because I can�t control this. It�s not my fault!� I dropped to my knees, sobbing and just letting the flood of tears fall. �I�m sorry.� I murmured. �God, I�m so sorry.� I felt arms encircling me and a soft kiss was placed on my forehead. �I�m sorry too.� And then you were gone. You left me there� so alone and helpless. A cry escaped my lips and I knew� I�ve lost you. * * * I placed my arms around you, knowing you can feel me. My lips grazed your cheek and you trembled- and a smile framed my face. You haven�t changed at all� you�re still the guy I loved and once knew. Your eyes were suddenly filled with tears as your hand touched the stone on the ground. Your fingers traced the words on it and your lips started to tremble once more. My eyes glanced at the inscription and I sighed. Engraved on it were the words� ALEXANDRA AMBER GONZALES (March 18, 1984-October 21, 2002) A loving daughter, a persevering student and the greatest friend anyone can ever have. May the heavens rejoice as they welcome the sweetest angel in their arms. It had been to weeks since our big fight. I was walking home, tears still flowing down my cheeks and I had not notice the speeding car making its way towards me. When I finally took notice� it was too late. The last thing that I saw was the glare from the car lights and a second later, it had hit me. They say that when you are a split second away from death, you see your whole life flash in front of you like a silent, black and white movie. It proved to be real for me. That second, I saw my parents� all the memories I had. And the last person I saw was� YOU. You with your smiling face and sparkling blue eyes. You with your wonderful face and irresistible charm. Just you. I really did love you, didn�t I? I returned to reality and I was greeted once more with your tear-streaked face. This time, you were speaking to me. �Why did you leave me? Why didn�t you give me the chance to explain? To tell you the truth?� And then I saw� it. Red petals surrounded my grave and on the stone itself was a long-stemmed white rose stained with what looked like scarlet blood. I staggered backwards, my hand covering my mouth. A memory I had pushed back into my subconscious reawakened. One when we were twelve years old. �Ow!� I rushed to you, checking to see if you were all right. �Are you okay?� You nodded, looking at your finger in dismay. �I�m fine. The thorns just pricked me.� I looked at you and saw a beautiful white rose resting on your hand. As you held it, I noticed a drop of blood covering one side. �Hey, your blood got mixed with the rose.� I murmured. You looked at it as if seeing it in a new light. You smiled sweetly and looked at me. �When I grow up and found the girl whom I will love forever, I will give her this white rose stained with my blood to show how much I love her. And even if she doesn�t see me, she will remember that I love her upon seeing this flower. It will symbolize my feelings and will tell her that I will never let her go because I see myself spending the rest of my life with her.� I felt hot tears rush down my cheeks as you opened your mouth to speak, voice breaking but determined to go on. �You�re not the only one who�s been keeping secrets, Amber. I have been, too.� You touched my name and continued, �Remember, I told you that I will give the white rose stained with my own blood to the girl whom I see myself spending the rest of my life with? A white rose symbolizes friendship and the blood means all the pain I went through just to give her the flower and to show her how much I love and care for her. Because she� is my life. And Amber� I should�ve given this to you sooner. I should�ve told you how much you mean to me. I shouldn�t have been afraid that my confession will ruin our friendship. I shouldn�t have tried to forget you by paying attention to Chynna. I shouldn�t have lost you.� A cry of misery escaped from your lips as you completely broke down. �Because you�re more than a friend to me. I love you.� Tears. Falling. One after the other. Agony washed over me like a huge tidal wave. Slowly, I walked towards you and encircled you in my arms and my lips gently pressed against yours. I know you can feel me. I know because you�ve stopped crying and have closed your eyes, satisfied by my embrace. I hope you will realize just how much I love you. Just how much I do. Don�t worry, I won�t leave you. I will be a spirit� a spirit destined to linger in this world to watch over her loved one. I won�t stop loving you because the white rose will remain in my memories forever. Thank you for telling me the truth. Thank you for letting me remain in this earth waiting to join you in the after-life. Because there, we will spend the rest of our lives together. And forever. |
   |
 |
 |
 |