MEETING. Without doubt the most difficult area to talk about. How does one present the desperate desire, within many of us, to meet other wearers without seeming desperate?! The benefits of the internet to this courtship can be profound, frustrating and, for some, devastating. Sometimes  we should heed the warning we give our children that the internet is a dangerous place and that with chat systems 'we never know who we are chatting with'! 

I have had my fair share of literal and metaphorical 'wankers'. The guys who lead you down a path, normally with a fair share of sexual suggestion, demanding to know what things you would do with them, hopeful meeting etc,. but ultimately showing little regard to the tamer and neutral position that I adopt of 'lets meet and take it from there'. On chat systems I have learned through disappointment and time wasting to spot some of these. They start with the "you're cute" - well lets start from the beginning here. Like 'beauty', 'cuteness' is in the eye of the beholder! Not sure how they come to this conclusion from a middle body shot (no head or legs) of me in a nappy! Early statements such as "I would love to shot my load into your nappy" are dealt with by a swift blocking of their id. Although this is something I might enjoy (never really tried), the reality is that I don't discuss this too much until I know the person quite well.

Most, who have survived the 'wankers discrimination test', get to know me quite well. I'm honest, loyal and do not hold the level of paranoia that many seem to have! These friends are serious about attempting some form of friendship or relationship which respects boundaries of practically and emotion and develops over time. 

I have had several disappointments with dls over the last 6 years, two are memorable and I completely misread the situation.

Here is one . . . . 

I was awakened by a chap called Nathan phoning me in the early hours of a Sunday morning to enquire about some onesies (I used to sell items of adult baby wear). The conversation was short and semi sober - the timing was the height of rudeness. A year later Nathan appeared on Yahoo chat. Initially I did not recognise who he was, we chatted and within about an hour I offered to talk with him on the phone. He jumped at the chance and we chatted for about 2 hours on the phone and he apologised for his early morning awakening of the previous year. He was 22 having just completed his degree. He was depressed about his living situation and he had no job. My offer to meet him transpired in him staying at my home over the following weekend. Setting aside the nappy wearing aspect of the weekend, I believe it gave Nathan the opportunity to talk about things that were playing on his mind. Over the next few months Nathan came to my home on three or four occasions. I helped him write his CV and a 'get the interview' introductory letter. He secured a temporary job and subject to money, time and a 150 mile train journey he stayed at my home at every opportunity to the extend that the spare room became known as 'Nathan's Room'. His relaxed youthful spirit and his very normalized persona was very attractive. We became very close and intimate. 

I always saw my role as a friend and mentor. I was just old enough to be his father, but did not see that as my role as he has a very good father. His confidence in himself became greater as he overcame each crisis which affects someone post the security of home and college life. We talked intimately about friendships, sexuality, ambitions and money. I introduced him to other dls around his age. He and a chap in Birmingham has a brief fling. At no point did I see him as a lover. During the period of about 2 years he would phone me 2-3 times a week and we would chat. I think by any definition we would have been considered friends. 

last year, with my encouragement, he decided to purposefully look for friends his own age in his own area. I really felt that he needed to acquaint himself with a social life in London and find himself a gay partner. I was very pleased that he announced that he was dating a guy locally. He kept in touch by phone until the November. His family had a major crisis in November he phoned me to talk about it. Then there was nothing! The weekly call did not happen. I called him to say 'hello'. Having heard nothing from him in February of this year I became worried about him. I sent him a text message expressing my concern to his mobile. I sent him an email. I left a message on his answering machine. All I wanted was to know that he was OK! The worst case scenarios had crossed my mind. Finally, I contacted a dl whom I knew he had contact with expressing my concerns. A month later - via dl-boy - I had a very short message, effectively it was  'bye'.  I was a little in shock for a couple of days. No idea what I had done, but for some wacko reason things just ended. I don't know why to this day but expected some sort of gentle withdrawal.  'shit stinks' I suppose.

If you have never met anyone who is into nappies (and you are) it is one of the most exciting and nervous things to do. The whole process away from the security of your home and the net can be ,for some,  be too traumatic and they may desire to meet others, but reality says they might never do so!

Before you consider meeting any there are the obvious rules of engagement. Experience has taught me that you need to make telephone contact with the other party and talk through things. Those people who just want a hurried meeting are unlikely to make long term relationships/friendships (if this is what you seek).  The younger guy is driven by hormones rather than life commitment. The older guys (over 25) are a bit more settled in themselves and are more likely to be looking for something more sincere.

The guy who tends to be insistent on you 'experimenting' with some of their interests are not good associates. Unless you want this,  'bang it on the head' early. Even if it seems like a fantasy and would never happen you will find any meeting awkward.

I am completely confused by some dls! I remember a friend talking about meeting a dl outside a coastal hotel. They had been corresponding for months and finally they  took the plunge. They both paced past each other 10 mins earlier, avoiding eye contact and when they finally met, they shook hands, introduced one another. Then without warning the other party turned about almost immediately and took flight! My friend was bemused by the incident and then started to feel guilty that he was to blame. All my friends attempts to make contact were left unanswered or blocked by the other guy!

My other person whom left me a bit hurt is told through the following. In both incidents I have been nice enough to substitute a false name for the real one. I do feel I should have put their real names in just to send out an 'avoidance message' to others. I also recognise that some find meeting extremely difficult  - but I wish they could say that they are not prepared to meet at all, be polite and honest. 

I'm not sure about a recent 'near encounter' how I really feel. He, Daniel, is 34 and we started chatting on yahoo after messaging him on DL-BOY. We seemed to have loads in common. Our work, a synergy of thoughts, our behaviours, our liking for wearing nappies under shorts etc,. He came across as someone who had faced crisis's in life with some gumption (and had learned to hide some of his real feelings) and just plodded along. We talked twice on the phone for about an hour at a time, it always seemed a hap hazard arrangement, he did not want to be overheard by his house-share person. On reflection many of his behaviours I conclude are part of a pattern. As it were, the signs are there! We got to climax in our distant relationship, I had invited him to my home and agreed that as he was taking a few days off, he could come here and indulge some Devon hospitality and wearing without his house-share knowing. As the time neared he kept altering the date and each time provided  a plausible reason why he was not going to arrive on the original date or previously agreed date. I gave him my address and telephone number etc,. so that if I were the 'mad axe man of Devon'  he could let someone know where he was! The day came and I waited in. He did not arrive. No word! On the following Sunday he appeared on line and I introduced the subject of his managing to come to my home - his answer was perplexing. 'I went off to see friends!'. 

One part on me wishes he'd come here and we met. The other makes me wonder how many others has he messed with and screwed their emotions! He has gone to ground a bit. 

Again, 'shit stinks!' Sadly.