Breakfast impressions. Blue Trays moulded with ellipses rather than hards corners...aesthetically pleasing..Food they lay before me that I cannot eat. I look at the yoghurt...scottish.. am briefly tempted... Look at the egges...think protein.. smile... think you. My favourite meal, protein, salt, and you. I just wait for coffee.
I am aware of both chains I wear around my neck and know I will never remove them.
stillwaiting for coffee...hanging out for it.. where is it??
I am not looking forward to being home. The time I was there was a respite from all that waits me here..looms ahead of me...Oh god.. they have put on Celine Dions Falling into you.. and I can no longer think straight...and I am suddenly so aware of you.. the ache is eating at me...
It doesn't matter any more. Nothing matters. I will do what I MUST do and the joy is now extinguished. I have always been a resource to be used.. let them. the joy is gone with you. Without the joy there is no light just drudgery. I now have nothing to hold onto... I am adrift.
It hurts.
