1999, Entry 16
Love is itself
Roof over our heads
bread for our jouneys
Water for our thirst
knowledge within our blood
part of all thoughts
in all our deeds
touching all loveliness
and misery
to last all our lives.
Love is absolute
soul and imagination
affirmation of yourself
a single all consuming flame
the whole being alive
and all the rest as nothing
to myself
All the rest are as nothing
I know you are held fast
someone else's property
despite the hollow years
and you will never be released
mired and held fast
the chains are love;
yours and theirs
I know this.
I have always known this.
Running away to be together
or giving each other up
equally histrionic frustrating gestures
either course defeating ourselves
and love itself.
I do not want to drift.
I want there to be YOU
someone I can be faithful to
without you
without the thought of you
everything is so meaningless
I have been running away for years
rushing from the hollow within
I cannot go back
to emptiness.
I have no need of hold
or promises -
in this empty room
I live with the phantom of you
your words in me
and around me
in light and dark
this life I wander through
peopled with grey shadows
in life's theatre
I observe myself
without ever again belonging