Ye John has many statements that shall be heeded as being the official view of the Church of John as a whole. If they are not followed, you will die horribly, and in a most amusing fashion involving bagpipes.

Evil Lord John recognises that sexism is a terrible, terrible, terrible thing. Either that, or he pretends to so he can "get chicks". Either way, sexist statements will not be used in reference to titles or such. The male equivilent of a nun shall not be a monk, but a nun. Similarly, they have to wear dresses. As such, we don't have many male nuns. And most of the ones we have had were just looking for a reason to wear dresses, anyways.

Although Evil Lord John (who, by the way, shall not tolerate being abbreviated to Elj- each letter in Evil Lord John is just as important as the one preceeding it) is far from being sexist, he is a homophobic bastard. Should you wear an item of clothing that is pink, and you do not have a vagina, you will be viewed as gay, and you will be stabbed many times in the head with Evil Lord John's mighty sword. Evil Lord John keeps this sword in his trousers, and the sword itself is kind of pink, come to think of it. But anyways, ye shall not be gay is the rule.

This can be best explained by what Evil Lord John once said to me on one of our many conversations over a lot of beer, between the sacrificing of small animals and unbaptised babies, which is a ritual we sometimes do 'for a laugh'. "You see, Karamunga," He said to me, "the only way to gain respect from the evil members of The Church Of John, is to be evil, and be a member!" He continues, with "Only then will you get respect and be saved from eternal pain and punishment in the Lair Of Eternal Flames"