30th April (Wed), sun

Yes. That sick nauseous and giddy feeling is still there despite the medication. It was so bad that i had to request for time off from my dental shift last night. So basically, i just worked for 40 mins last night before heading home to mum's porridge and tv. Cham liao... this dun look good... could it be...???? Nah... It can't be that delicious, steaming hot plate of stingray the night before. (aei... dun think otherwise ah.. hahahaha) HEE ("B)

Most of my friends are finishing their exams this week! Yeah! 3 cheers to dinner gatherings and fun and more fun!

I must increase my intake of proteins so that i recover fast. This means no diet till further notice. Hehehehehe! Bite me lor! Ha!

Went out for dinner with some friends. Quite weird to see some of them again, esp since its been some time since we last did some catching up. Nevertheless, i had a pretty enjoyable evening. (",)

29th April (Tues), sun

This is not very good. This is the second consecutive day i wake up feeling giddy. Sheet... Won't be surprised if i had fainted in my sleep during the night too. Ah... hope its due to lack of rest. *cross fingers*

Just one more day to our gathering. I can't wait. HEE ("B)

28th April (Mon), sun

Had a busy busy working weekend. Underpaid and overworked, well.. what can i say? I work to live. Ha!

Suddenly felt like becoming a "good girl" again. Cleared my room (again), sorted out my stuff, rearranged my CDs... hee... my room is getting more cosy!!! I can just hibernate in my room forever ah... hahahahaahaha

1159pm: Just came back from supper with an old time friend. Long time never see him liao... nice to catch up with him again. I wish you all the best bro. (",)

Life is getting monotonous now. No excitement, no stories to share, no tales to rant about. Just work, and more work. Sighz.

25th April (Fri), sun

Looking forward to a relaxing session at some quiet pub with some friends tonight. That IS Life. (",)

24th April (Thurs), sun

Sheet... I am really getting er.. plumper? I was in the mood to wear my Mango pants today and, to my horror of horrors, found that it was a bit too tight for comfort? Aei... i can still fit into it lah.. but, i dun dare to take big steps lor... cos i certainly dun want my pants to split or anything like that in public... SIGH. He is right... My figure is not like what it used to be back during Appreciation Dinner last Sept. Ah!!!!

Ok. Its time for exercise, and er.. less food... *wink*

1159pm: Had a great and satifying lunch at Pizza Hut today to celebrate Xiaohui's belated birthday. Went back to office 1 hr later than my supposed lunch break. OOPS. Ok ok.. I'll start my dieting plans tomorrow... er... tomorrow then see how bah.. Hiak. ("B) Then met up with the E4 IA gang in the evening at Bugis to catch the movie "Anger Management".The show wasn't really fantastic... but the company was great. Nice to see them again. And T.S, thanks for loaning me the Coyote Ugly soundtrack!!! You are the best!!!!! *muacks* Hahahaha!!!!!!!

FYP is starting to give me the chills. Sigh.

23rd April (Wed), sun

Its been a busy busy morning today... Sheet... sales quotations to do, more excel sheets to compile, cheem cheem instrumentation drawings to draw using AutoCad, filing, more printing... Its been a tiring morning. And, i barely finished 1/3 of the tasks stated above. SIGH.

Its gonna be a work and more work week. ("<)

Met him for dinner at Seoul Garden. Hee!!! He is so nice!! Besides paying for the entire dinner, he even shelled the prawn for me!!!! Hahaha!!! I feel so "xin fu". Hiak!

22nd April (Tues), sun

Spent the entire night scanning through the whole 11 discs of the korean show "Xin Meng Qin Yuan". HEE... He is so so handsome! I love it when he tries his best to protect the female lead and stand up for her whenever she is being bullied. His sensitivity, his cool attitude, his passionate music, his love for her... ah!!! So suave!!!!!! *melting melting*

Oei!!! All those having exams now... hurry up leh!!! Me getting very bored liao... Quick finish yr exams then we can go out and enjoy liao!!! Quick!!!!!! HEE ("p)

He's cute cute cute cute cute! Ha!

21st April (Mon), sun

I'm desperately in need of some sleep now. The "shopping" with T.S and Jeff. on Sat afternoon, partying at dbl O till wee hours thereafter and work at the dental clinic the very next morning had left its toil on me. Eye bags and pimple outbreaks are very much the evidence of this unsupposed indulgence on Sat. But, hee... i really really enjoyed myself. ("B)

Today's the first day of examinations for many of my friends. For some, its their last examination of their lifetime. For the rest, its just one of the many more examinations we are supposed to clear. Whatever the case is, all the best guys... Jiayou!!! You all can do it!!! We'll be partying on May Day already! Yohoo!

Looking at the FYP proposals online now. Geez... so wordy.. looks so cheem... jialat liao... SIGH. ("<)

18th April (Fri), rain

Went out today with a JC classmate whom i have not met for a long time. Yah... he's doing well... still the same quiet guy i remembered. I have confidence that he'll do well for his exams. (",)

Had a satisfying read at Borders today. Was totally engrossed in the 3-in-1 novel "My Story", the combination of "The child Called It", "The Lost Boy" and "The Man Called Dave". Its really marvellous to see how some people can survive in really adverse conditions and convince themselves that life is still good. I really marvel at their determination to live, their trust in themselves, and their belief in their right to life. Put me in a similiar situation and i might have broken down. Sit in a corner and cry or whimper for the rest of my life. I am not always the strong Michelle. I really aren't.

Someone told me tonight to give myself another chance. Another chance to find out what i really want in life. Guess he must have read my previous entry and is feeling concerned bah... I believe that all of us have dreams in us. No matter if they are practical or not. No matter if they are realizable or not. Its these dreams that get us by. At least for me. My dream is the light at the end of the tunnel. Its the light that wakes me up every morning and reminds me of my existence and tells me to live my dream for that day. Its the light i turn to when i stray from my path. Its the light that comforts me. People may see my dream as an obstinate desire. So be it. I jolly well know my limitations. I jolly well know my chances of practising medicine is almost 0%. I know. I also know i have to look forward with life and find something else more suitable for me. I know. I really do. I can only say, its one of the biggest regrets in my life bah. A regret that will stay with me for a long time to come.

Dun worry. I'll get over it. I always do. Though i can't eradicate it completely, but i will at least try to minimise it. I will.

Thanks for the "monopoly" and dinner tonight. (",)

17th April (Thurs), sun

Read the Streats this morning to realise that the matter was getting rather out of hand. Yes, i had heard about it from my friends on Tues about the volunteering of services to help screen fellow school mates for their exams, but, i was totally shocked to read the article this morning and see some pretty negative responses from some of the med students. Streats had actually published the commenter's personal opinions and her weblog link. Geez. I feel sorry and (unsorry) for her.

As a weblog craze myself, i think that those are her own personal comments and does not represent the opinions of the rest of us. She is right to give her opinions. It is after all, the DEMOCRATIC society we are living in.

As a disillusioned kid studying in NUS, i hate but to agree with her about the inefficiency of our school administration. I personally have friends doing Industrial Attachment in Hong Kong at the moment, and i do keep regular contact with them to make sure that they are doing fine over there, and i always repeatedly hear about disappointments they face from our great institution. For one, there was no concern or any precautionary email or letter of any sort sent from our beloved school admin even though they jolly well know that our students are in the SARS affected country like HK at the moment. It was after my friends there sent concerned emails that they received some i would describe as nonchalent "standard answer' emails from our counterparts. Well, i would say, this great institution have somewhat disappointed me. And its not the first time it has happened. So this is how it is, a great world class university, fervently trying to adopt the corporate image, getting us to "bid" for our modules with credit points... u think its the COE system ah?! High demand of hostel lodging resulting in high housing criteria, turning away students with the urgent need for student housing, but without the so called ECA points cos we are all trying to keep upfront in increasing the academic excellence our instituiton is trying to promote. The constant hike in school fees for improvements i dun see (maybe myself and the rest of the thousands of us aren't observant enough. Maybe) etc... i would say, i'm disappointed. Truly disappointed.

As a doctor wannabe but not due to "poor results" from A levels, i would say i'm pretty disappointed with the response from Dr Sheep. Well, i can't blame her too actually. Its her choice. The good old dream of becoming a doctor to heal, even with no rewards is gone. Or maybe its just not realistic in this pragmatic society today. It really saddens me that people with the good results but with the i would define as poor attitude would become doctors and "elites" of the society, while people like me with the average results and the better attitude would be rejected from the interview. Dun they realise that its the attitude that determines the altitude, and NOT the aptitude?!?! Its people like me, who will volunteer my services to the public and gladly endow the disposable gown at TTSH and fight the plague beside the existing heros. Yes, its people like me. But, does our world class university realise that? Do they give you a chance? Now that they are facing a shortage of doctors, then they lax on the intake of medical students. Now then they increase the quota of girls in the faculty. And its pretty late for me. Unless i am willing to pay $80K a year to pursue my second first degree after i graduate from my current one next year. Unless MOE decides to grant me the govt tuition subsidy for my second first degree. Unless i find a sponsor for my medical degree. Unless i win the TOTO, unless unless unless...

Its been a great ranting session. Great to say that at least some of it is out now. Yah, some.

16th April (wed), rain

Its raining today, drizzling as i came into my office this morning. I love this weather. The cool breeze, the pitter patter of the rain, the lazy mood... it all just refreshes me... (",)

Someone asked me a rather unexpected question yesterday. She asked me if i was attached. *Gasp!* Geez... It jolted me back to the fact that i was still single. No, i'm not ashamed of it, just indulging in some self pity for myself cos i haven't had the time and chance to experience this part of Life yet. What can i say? I haven't found the one who appreciates me yet? Well, unlike other matters where i want to be in control, i would say i will leave such matters however, to fate bah... *shrugs*

But, sad to say, its getting hard for me to find a friend to go out with nowadays. I scroll my phone book and i pause and wonder at who to call for a chat. Cos almost all my friends are having exams...Sigh.. Life's getting sad... ("<) But, I believe i will find my him, maybe 10 days from now, or maybe 10 years from now. He who will shelter me in the rain, share my happiness and troubles and catch me when i fall. Yupp. I believe i will. ("B)

Think i'm watching too much "Tokyo Cinderella Story" liao... Ha!

15th April (Tues), sun

Actually supposed to go home for dinner last night, but my mum called in the afternoon to say that they would be out for mahjong session at my aunt's place, so... yeah... i can go out with my friends for dinner... HEE. So, it was dinner with Jeff. and T.S last night at Suntec. And it was chocolate time at Chocolate Bar at the Esplanade after that. Wah se... it had to be the most expensive chocolate i have ever seen man... We were charged $18++ for 2 small plates of sliced bananas, strawberries, pears and marshmellows served with 3 simmering small bowls of white, milk and dark chocolate as a dip. Really expensive... but, it was a good experience. Ha. Hope i dun have any pimple outbreaks these few days!!!! Argh!

Ah! Really looking forward to the day when my Prince Charming will turn up with hot steaming hor-fun for me after a hard day's work... HEE.... I'm dreaming. Again. Ha! ("B)

14th April (Mon), sun

Its been a happening weekend. Definitely. For one, the restless me actually went down to BUZZ after my dental shift on Friday. Ha! Ok... supposed to catch Dreamcatcher, but... er... oops... never mind.. hahaha.... Downed several drinks that night... 2 X bourbon, 2 Flaming Lembogini, 1 sub zero, tequila shot etc... But i wasn't drunk. Not even "high". OOPS. Think my tolerant level is getting higher?! Surprising! Cos its been a long long time since i went pubbing. Maybe in good mood bah, or maybe not in good mood bah... Sheet.. burned a huge hole in my pocket though. This type of cheap thrill is definitely not worth it. *regrets*

Yah... so i woke up late on sat morning (Without any hangover) and watched Coyote Ugly (again) on my laptop. Hee. Even managed to meet up with Lynn that afternoon. Very nice to see her again. And she bought me a Perlinni Silver's ring! Not cheap k... (for students like us lah), and we bought a pair in the end. One for her, one for me. We unofficially got "engaged" since then. Hee... another "romance" in my collection. Ha!

The best part of the weekend had to be the Fornax dinner on sat. Though Peter wasn't there, but, it was really great to see the rest turn up for dinner despite the nearing exams in a weeks' time. Really appreciate it friends. Really appreciate it. (",)

I'm in a enjoying mood this week. Think i will most prob catch a movie, some suppers, some gatherings with "non-examinable" friends, eat some great dinners at the Spore Food Fest, splurge on some shopping etc etc...

It looks like a great week ahead. ("p)

11th April (Fri), sun

I had a great great birthday dinner with my friends at Black Angus yesterday. They came and celebrated my birthday for me despite the oncoming exams in less than 2 weeks time!! Geez! I am so touched! Especially when he offered to treat me to dinner. I mean, it wasn't the money that mattered, it was the fact that he had offered to treat me even though he's running on a low budget and is supposedly a poor scholar cramming for exams back in school while the rest of us were earning some cash, no matter how peanuts it was. I could feel my heart flutter for him again. Sigh... just when i resolved to forget him and get on with my life, he will always do some sweet things and put me back in course. The wrong one though... ("<)

Very surprised and pleased that many remembered my birthday this year. Received so many sms... Really pamper me ah... so touched... (",)

Though this year is the first time in 3 years that i'm not celebrating my bday with Fornax this year, but, i'm just glad that they remembered... that's enough for me liao... (",)

Happy 22nd birthday Michelle. ("B)

9th April (Wed), rain

Went back to school today to view the FYP presentations put up by the seniors. Think FYP is quite a chim project ah... the examiner has so many doubts, and u have to be continously bombarded by so many questions and queries. Sigh... Hope i get the FYP i am interested in. *cross fingers*

Had lunch with him today. Ok, them. At arts canteen. Very nice to see him again though. More happy when he remembered my birthday and smsed me yesterday to ask the gang out for dinner to help me celebrate. It just makes me feel WOW!!! that i can spend it with him. Ha... i really mei yao jiu liao.. OOPS.

I love the rain... (",)

2359: Went out for E4 class dinner with the guys. Bo pian.. the girls all had something on except me... sigh... anyway, these 'sisters' are very nice.. really feel comfortable with them... ("p)

Oh! He is soooo nice!!! He actually came down all the way to Cineleisure to drive me home?!?! Oh geez! Think i may just fall in love with him soon.... so gentlemanly! HEE! ("B)

8th April (Tues), sun

While we are struggling to get on with our life now, let us remember these unsung heros who are always there for us.

To all medical staff at all medical institutions, health care workers, volunteers at Changi Airport and all who have stood up against this battle of SARS;

You are the inspiration. Your undying belief, love and passion transcends all fears. I salute you.

7th April (Mon), sun

Yup! This is the week!!! Hee....

Not expecting any surprises, but still looking forward to that day... ("p)

Did this test today.

I'm a Koala! Cuddly and snuggly. You love romance and being pampered by a partner. Candle-lit dinners, red roses and soft, moody music all set the perfect tone for you. In bed you're very sensual and eager to give your partner as much as they give you. You love sex but it isn't a major priority in your relationships. You're at your happiest being cradled in your partner's arms.

4th April (Fri), cloudy

Yes. I am sick. Again. For the fourth time this year. Sheet... My immunity is really getting atrocious. Now, its a sore throat and loss of voice. And it had to come when i was so looking forward to enjoying this pre-bday weekend. As a result of this terrible flu, i missed out so many dinner gatherings with my friends... Sigh.... ("<)

I hate the flu virus!!!

2nd April (Wed), cloudy

Really feel like going Pulau Ubin this sat, but dunno who i should ask to accompany me. Sigh...

To all the unsung heros at TTSH, you have my utmost respect and admiration. Thank you. (",)

1st April (Tues), sun

Happy April Fool's Day to me. ("<)

1645pm: HEE. Just got to know this cute cute photocopy guy from my dept. He's really nice, teaching me how to use the sophisticated scanner, introducing his name, chatting with me, showing and letting me download all his mp3... ("B) Who says that a guy must be a big shot or a professional to impress me? Nah... Its the attitude.... ("B)

2359pm: Went for a nice dinner with him at Junction 8. Actually was very surprised when he invited me to dinner at Seoul Garden initially. Very pleasantly surprised. So i got my colleague to cover my shift for me lor... what to do... HEE... But being the nice person i am (again), we ate at food court instead cos Seoul Garden a bit the expensive and crowded and think both of us quite heaty liao.. so shouldn't eat so much "pu jua' stuff. So we had a nice dinner at the food court and ended it off with a great chendol dessert. Yeah.

And oh.. my idol Leslie Cheung committed suicide... report said he was troubled by affairs of the heart... ("<)

Maybe i should watch my increasingly happening lifestyle now.. Hmm...