If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason?

No! Therefore, I still love you... And love doesn't need a reason!

________________x________________________x_____________

Maybe its true... Love doesn't need a reason at all. You will be happy as long as he is, even if you know that you aren't the one he wishes to hear over the phone...

Happy birthday dear friend... (",)

1310pm He excitedly smsed me at 10 plus in the morning, saying that he had managed to con a treat from her and he was asking if i would like to go along with them for dinner tonight. He sounded really sincere about the invitaton. And i am really tempted to go, but... think she meant it to be just a dinner for the both of them, and i was waiting for the invitation from her that i think will never come, so why am i still so insistent? I am supposed to be over him by now, but why do i still feel the jealously and the helplessness?

Its true... Love really doesn't need a reason at all. But, it really really hurts.

21st March (Fri), sun

1700pm While i am typing this, my very very good friend is helping me to set up my new weblog on his domain when he is supposed to be studying. What have i to complain about life now? Except for the fact that my dad is unwell, i would say that i am a very very fortunate girl, with a supportive family and so many concerned friends around me. Thank you... ("p)

Special Thanks to Rax. Not forgetting Omi and Fornax. You are all a very important part of me and i really really appreciate you all. Thanks... (",)

20th March (Thurs), sun

1010am: Its not difficult to wake up one morning to realise that you have aged. No longer the little girl who lazes in bed and uses the excuse of stomachache to skip school. We have all grown up. We have our responsibilities and duties to fulfil. Our life mission. Or you may put it, the reason why we are existing.

Well, I think i must have owed my parents a great deal in my previous lifetime, cos they are the only people i place the highest priority in this freedom seeking, no commitment individual like me. I guess i could have been saved by them in my previous incarnation, that's why i am here in this lifetime to pay off the karma. yet, i couldn't have been that bad an individual, cos i was given the chance to be here in this lifetime as a woman. Well, i'm getting incoherent.

Today's the deadline for the ultimatum Bush set for Saddam to go into exile. The second war i experience in these past 21 years after the Gulf War in 1991. Think war is imminent this time. Some things just cannot be avoided. No matter how unpopular a decision might be, some things just need to be done. Just believe that what u are doing is right and go for it. May peace prevail always.

I really love you lao pa lao ma. I really do.

18th March (Tues), sun

1435pm: Its a boring day today... Eeeewww...

17th March (Mon), sun

0900am: All it took was a good morning sms to start the week ahead. Its gonna be a great week... HEE...

1430pm: Had a very busy morning going through reports, preparing quotations, fumbling with excel sheets, filing, settling claim forms etc etc.. But, i like it! At least they gave me something to do... Hee. ("p) Tell u all a joke that happened k, my dept had these 2 Vietnamese engineers who is in Singapore for training for these few weeks,and guess what, these 2 inquisitive, adventurous souls decided to go Johor Bahru for the weekened and they were detained when they tried to come back to Singapore cos their work visa is for one time entrance into our country only?!?! Hahahaha.. Luckily they had my colleague's number, so my poor colleagues, SM and Blue Guy had to rush down to the local hotel where they were staying to take their air tickets, hoping to prove their identity to the Singapore Customs, but it failed (naturally and obviously), so they had to go into malaysia this morning to 'rescue" those 2 goondus again. Haha! Poor things, now as i am typing this, Blue Guy is in malaysia looking for those 2 lost sheep (they have no phones u see) to take their passports back to Singapore to apply for visa again. We better hope and pray that the Malaysian police dun catch those 2 nutcases when their passports are not with them, cos.. that will be another long, tedious rescue mission all over again.. Hahahahaha!

1020pm: So, here i am, seated in front of my notebook again, with the air-con and the mp3 on... Life's such a contradiction sometimes. Nothing to do and i complain that i have no social life. Go out with friends or work and i complain of not having enough rest. Sigh...  I am so hard to please...  ("<)

Just requested for more dental shifts at the clinic. If the application is successful, I will have extra shifts to my existing ones.. I will then be on every Tues, Thurs, alternate Sats and all Suns. Well, can earn more money and can keep my mind off things i guess. My friends will all be busy with exams anyway, so i guess i won't miss much gatherings with them... This arrangement will most probably continue after my IA on June 20th, cos the ENGIN Camp would have started!!! I can't wait!!!!!! My life should begin then. ("p)

But for now, I'm still currently in the "can stay at home my entire life and hibernate" mood.

Bailey coffee anyone?

16th March (Sun), sun

Today had got to be one of the suay days in my life.

For one, My dad's blood pressure was diagnosed to be exceptionally high at an unhealthy range. His vision is getting blurred everyday, and he keeps getting frequent fainting spells. Lao pa lao pa... how i wish you can pass all the illness to me... cos i know i will definitely be able to take it, and i really much prefer to be the one where people worry about then the other way round of me having to worry about people. And the adverts about the NKF show just freaks me out even more. Sigh.

Next, my ear infection suddenly became so bad that i couldn't really get to sleep the entire night. So i had to visit the doctor during my lunch break today while working at the dental clinic. Geez... in the end, the doctor, my dentists' good friend, actually charged me an exorbitant rate of $40 for ear drops, antibiotics and painkillers?!?!?!?! Wah se!! So expensive!!!!!

So considering the fact that i was 'late' for work cos i had to wait for my colleague to open the clinic door today cos i dun have the key, and after deducting the $40 lucks of medicine and lunch.. my net profit for the day is.... NEGATIVE $10 plus?!?!?!!? This means that i had paid to work for others today?!?!!?!?

To rub salt into the wound, my 'great aunt' had to visit me today when i was working... Sheet.

What a bad day.

Did this test today. Felt that this is by far the most accurate interpretation of myself... (",)

I'm an ENFJ! (See my results at Absolut Michelle)

15th March (Sat), sun

Woke up with an intensified ear infection. It was so bad that my left ear was so swollen on the inside that my ear canal was almost blocked. My smart mum then brought me to see the Chinese sinseh, who said that i was very very heaty. As usual. His diagnosis was standard. Very heaty cos not enough sleep (that's so obvious by the eye bags i am having these 2 days lor!!! Duh!!) and eating too much fried stuff, (evidently clear cos i am having a mild sore throat too). Ok... so he got all my symptoms correct... dry cough, occasional runny nose, headaches, mild sore throat, but...  duh lor... cos i was manifesting the illness rather significantly?!?! Alamak... think he's the only doctor who can make my mum go "Ooh.. yah lor yah lor... she eat this this this, or she come home at what time and what time etc". DUH! In the end, he din even look at my ear! My main complaint! Win. I have nothing to say liao.

Went back to school right after the visit to the sinseh. Cannot help it lah... my legs just carried me there... Sigh... ok lah... i have nothing to do elsewhere anywhere.. so...

It was a busy scene. There were like so so many people! And most of them were in JC 1/2 or just after POP (Passing out parade)?!!?!? Where have all the intended freshmen gone?!?!?!?!! Where are all the army guys due to come in this year?!?! Where are all the A level's girls?!?!?! And where are all the handsome men!??!!? Hahaha!! OOPS.... HEE....

So i was walking around the whole day, trying to recruit people for FOP, tending the "Shio Bak Chang" stall, i mean.. sitting and loboing at the stall while the rest are hard at work... drinking cans of vanilla coke (new flavour), sneaking into the Competition Hall and MPSH for some air-con once in a while.... getting freebies from the redemption counter, playing free dart games at our Engin Club games stall, delivering "Shio Bak Chang" to all Engin comm friends hard at work etc etc... I would say i had a tiring afternoon. Ha

Still got work tomorrow ah... booooooooring.......

14th March (Fri), rain

1430pm: Yupp, i din go to work today (again). HEE. Overslept mah... before i knew it, it was already 1130 when i woke up, so... er... Ha.

So i went to school to look for my friends.. Actually quite bo-liao, cos they all very busy with their own stuff... and i was the only one who din have/know what to do.. so.. =(

But it was still a good break from my monotonous and boring work today.

0040am: So l left school early today. Din want to take up anyone's time, so decided to go watch a movie by myself. Went to Lido and caught "Maid In Manhattan". Actually, i dun find that show very nice. In fact, i would only rate it as average. Yah.. in my humble opinion, it wasn't half as good as "Ever After" or "Tokyo Cinderella Story". The story was a typical modern love story with a happy ever after ending. What else can it be? Actually i hate this type of shows, only give people false hope. I mean who are you trying to kid? Fairy tales dun happen in real life. Yet, i find myself drawn to such plots over and over again.. Sigh... What a contradiction.

Had a great browsing time at Borders. I could stop at a section for as long as i like. No one to tell me its time to go, or no one to "pressurize" me into leaving. Its just me, myself and my world. I finally left with 3 books. Guess that should last me for a while.

Joined CJ, Loy, Wh, Xh and our new found Korean friend Kim for dinner at Smith Street in the evening. Maybe we were too hungry, i dunno.. the food din seem to taste too good to me tonight Geez... we almost couldn't finish the normal serving of stingray we used to have. Hmm... maybe everybody trying to lose weight now. Ha. We then proceeded to our normal haunt "Tea Chapter". For those who dunno where that is, its a little tea house in Chinatown, a small yet comfy place where we sip Chinese tea slowly and settle for small chat. It was pretty late when we were done, but i still managed to have a leisure walk all the way from Chinatown, past Boat Quay, and to the bus-stop to catch the last bus. Felt rather lonely at first, cos i was the only one in sight walking alone down the busy street while others were clustered in pairs or in groups, but it was ok after a while. Its nice to enjoy a quiet moment sometimes. Many a times, i was very tempted to go into a few pubs for a few drinks, but, nah... i promised myself that i would frequent these places less often. Why should i convert whatever unhappiness into liver damage? Hahaha... once in a blue moon is ok i guess, but.. think i've been indulging in it more and more regularly nowadays.. OOPS.

My first official Sat that i am off tomorrow. Still deciding if i should go for the Fiesta At The Ridge in NUS tomorrow...

13th March (Thurs), sun

0108am: Believe it or not, I had spent close to 5 hours upgrading this website! Hahaha!! But it does look neater than the former one right? This colour scheme makes me feel more relaxed too. ("p)

Love songs on Class 95 are simply irresistable... I miss these moments at night... i really do...

1000am: Discovered to my shock that the alignment for my webbie is out! Panic man... luckily i had the IT superman to help me.. Thanks Rax!!!!! ("p)

0110am: I just came back from school. Ha... yah.. i went back to school after work today.. Bo liao mah.. so thought i would drop by to see my friends and have supper with them at Fong Seng... hee ("p)

Its been a lobo day today (again). Sigh..

Still deciding if i should go to work tomorrow. OOPS. Ha

Got this very meaningful passage from a friend's webbie. Its true... truth always hurts... I dun think he realises that he's still there... =(

________________x________________________x_____________

Don't be too good I will miss you.

Don't be too caring, I might like you.

Don't be too Sweet, I might fall for you.

It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after all...

Bottom-line : A person who makes me love him is actually a person who loves me more than I love him.

________________x________________________x_____________

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much... Just be glad that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even for a while.

Bottom-line :Time will tell. If he's yours he will surely come back.

________________x________________________x__________

Don't throw your back to love when it's already in front of you.

Don't drive it away from you because if you do, someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was once residing next to you.

Bottom-line : Treasure the one who loves you! It's not easy to find a person who loves you. It's always more valuable to have a sincere heart.

________________x________________________x_____________

The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take.

If you think something will make you. happy, GO FOR IT.

Remember that we pass this way only once.

Bottom-line : Time doesn't wait. If you think you might have found the right one, treasure the person, don't let that person get away. Don't let fear hold You back. Give it a try else you might regret later... "No one other than ourselves know what can truly make us happy."

_______________x________________________x_____________

"Two tear drops were floating down the river.

One teardrop said to the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?"

..."I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go..."

Bottom-line : Nobody will sympathize with a person who constantly lets chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage them. We normally don't realize how important our loved and close ones are until they leave us, and then we start regretting, which results in misery. Lost time is NEVER gained again

________________x________________________x_____________

***Even impossible says... I - M - POSSIBLE!!!

12th March (Wed), sun

So so sleepy now.. got home so late last night! Bo pian, cos i had to cover the Pasir Ris clinic... In the end i had to eat my dinner at 1030 like that.. wah liew... sad life man... this morning almost late cos i forgot to set my hp alarm last night... luckily my biological clock alarm woke me up.. heng ah!!!

Its now 0920am at the office and the office is still machiam like a dead town?! All the colleagues around me are all either overseas, or sick or overseas again. Wah biang, then i am still waiting for output from another dept before i can do my work, so.. before they give me work, i have nothing to do... hmm... aei... dun think its a good life k... cos coping with boredom is a challenging thing to do! Alamak.. i will check and refresh my email once every 10 mins though i jolly well know there wun be any fresh mail within that short span of time. Sigh...

1400pm: Came back from lunch at Bedok Interchange. Ha... Had my favourite mutton soup (yah.. again), then walked walked around the shops, stopped over at Watson's and bought a khakis pants at Giordano. HEE. Think i gotta better keep to my budget, cos its in deficiet now?!!? Wah biang, my finance dept in Yoko damn CXXX up. This is the second time they calculate my pay wrongly liao... pengz. They think i never check ah? Dream on lor... Hahahaha... this time they still owe me $27.50. Sheet. Hmm.. having tuition tonight, hope my kid pays me my tuition fees tonight.. (cross fingers)

Did this test today. What type are you?

11th March (Tues), sun

I checked with the Office Of Admissions yesterday, expressing my interest for a second first degree in NUS. Well, the replies i got wasn't very comforting. It gave me hope that i still had a chance to get into medicine, they would grant me an interview. But, they reminded me of the financial implications that followed my successful selection. I am so sad. Now i am given hope to study my dream course and the only stupid thing that's deterring me is money?!?!?! Sigh... I would have to pay the full tuition fees this time, without any MOE tuition subsidy, and i tell you, the subsidy is really really substantial. In short, i would need $80,800 per semester, which adds up to about $400k to study medicine in NUS. Unless i win Toto, or come up with a great great business plan, i dun think this dream is realisable after all. But if i do think optimistic enough, i will give myself 2 years from now to try. I will give myself that time, on my 24th birthday to be exact. If i can't raise the money by then, so be it. Who knows, maybe i wun make it for the interview by then! Then i will have $400k for my early retirement. Ha. (",)

Its very quiet in my dept today. My boss and SM is in Vietnam, Blue Guy (characterised by his liking for blue shirts) is on MC, thus leaving only the secretary, another colleague and.. me. Boooooooring..... Sigh.. But never mind, i got time (lots of it!) to propose ISPs and upgrade website and check mail(s).. Oh yeah.. my Tag Board is up! We can now exchange online comments without having to access the Truths forum link from dear aya.. that one too troublesome liao... and seems like a lot of people still haven't discovered that link even though its been put up for er... more than 4 mths?!?! Ha! Half an hour more to 530pm!!! OOPS. i still got my dental work tonight. At Pasir Ris. Ah!

10th March (Mon), sun

I have decided. I will give myself one more year to set my priorities right. Well, time isn't the factor if i'm really interested. (",)

A Korean girl, Kim came to Yokogawa for attachment today. She's gonna be with us for the next two weeks, and seeing that she's all alone in Singapore, we volunteered to bring her around. The first barrier we had was communication. Her English isn't very fluent, and our Korean, well... we know nuts about it.. so its not surprising to see 4 youngsters ooohing and ahing and tryng to get each of our messages across. Very funny. HEE. Our first stop, we will bring her to Chinatown this fri... though i would love to go karaoke, but think its not possible already... sigh?

7th March (Fri), sun

I just came back from my dept lunch. No, think i should use the word feast instead. It was machaim like a Chinese wedding like that, with 8 full courses by itself and not forgetting we included in side orders of chilli crabs, pepper crabs, Thai fish cake and a few rounds of drinks. No wonder all of us were simply bulging after the meals, and you can see the sleepy eyes when all of us trodded back into the office at 2 plus... HEE. (",)

My colleague (SM in short) promised to help me buy vodka when he comes back from overseas. Ha... er... i'm saving it for a rainy day...OOPS. (*wink wink)

1550pm: An idiot had to spoil my mood after lunch. That IA guy had left the office earlier. AGAIN. I knew what i had to do this time. I immediately typed out a hostile email and saved it to my inbox. The contents just came easily as i had it all drafted out in my mind when i suffered the injustices a few times before. But sorry, i am not keeping quiet this time. No way. I then sent that guy a warning sms. I told him directly that i will report to HR the next time he does it. His reply came soon enough. He promised he will not do it again. I will believe him once. The next time he does it, i will retrieve that mail and just forward to the HR Manager without any more qualms.

Don't mess with me. Cos you can't afford to.

6th March (Thurs), sun

My flu virus is finally getting subdued by all the antibiotics and panadols i have been so religiously taking for almost the whole week. Woke up this morning feeling a little better than the past few days... Finally! Ha! I am actually well enough to go for a Long John's Silver lunch today! Yeah. (",)

Now stuck with a dilemma. Should i work after my IA to get more money, or should i dedicate full time into Rag & Flag? Its reality versus dreams this time. Sigh....

I had such a nice nice dinner with my friends (Loy, CJ and Weihua) at night at Marina Square. No... it was no fancy dinner at some posh restaurant, just a normal foodcourt 'xiao guo mian' meal, but the company was great!!!! We then proceeded to Baker's Inn cafe for tea and small chat and, it was really enjoyable. It was a leisure evening with no stress at all... We then made plans for a karaoke session next week and a Sentosa getaway the weekend after. HEE. (",)

I haven't enjoyed myself this much for a long time. Its really really good to see them again. (",)

5th March (Wed), sun

WTF. I am still having a headache today despite early sleep and regular medications. Oh no... and my tuition kid is sick too! he actually missed his test today cos he wasn't feeling well... jialat.. think tonight will be a very very siong last minute cramming mugging cum germ exchanging session for us. Ha.

Went to check out my CCA records today. Believe it or not, its the first time i checked these records after so many years. OOPS. Anyway, was pretty surprised to see some stuff there, and similarly, was pretty surprised not to see some stuff there too. Well...... its ok. I just want to say a big big thank you to him for giving me most of my CCA marks. Thanks. Both you and her make me feel better. Really thank you. (",)

Finally understood this point. I am human. I have my own life too. I can't please everybody. As long as i have my ardent supporters who appreciate and recognise what i do, think i will be very contented liao. I'm glad to have found friends like these now. As for the rest who for some reason are not in my path, i'm sorry.. guess i can just say, thanks for coming into my life that once.

Still considering if i should stay in PGP. Its money versus last year in NUS. However, the more i think about it, the more i dun feel like staying... i can put that sum of money to better use. Yeah.

1620pm: Heehee.... my colleague just gave me a digital world time clock/calculator!! hahaha!! Yupp! Guess this officially ends the discontentment period they had with me...Yeah. I hate to admit it, but i'm such a flatterer. HEE. Hey... did i say he gave me a .... clock?!?!?! ER....

2153pm: I am at home updating my webbie now... Life is leisure without tuition. Ha!!

4th March (Tues), sun

Yah. I am still sick. And apparently realised that i had missed out so many things while i was knocked out by the fever tablets last night. For one, i had 8 missed calls on my hp when i woke up this morning. Yah. 8! Some were from my dental clinic, others from him, and the rest from other acquaintances. Well... the biggest news had to be the car crash along Lentor Ave at 7.30pm last night. Solid seah... the car actually went up the MRT tracks? Hahaha... i woke up this morning to find the world changed man... hee

Still have a meeting at 10am and my dental shift tonight to "look forward too". Help!!!!

Edit: I called to take medical leave from my dental shift... my third night 'nua-ing' at home since sunday liao... hmm...

3rd March (Mon), rain

Its raining, like what a friend described, giraffes and elephants as i am typing (and sneezing my head off) in the office. Ok. That's it. My immunity is becoming so so poor. This is the third time i am sick this year. Hopeless case man... think maybe have to skip my gu-zheng classes (again).. oops...

Finally obtained the registration of my SMS journal!! Yeah!! This means that i can update my webbie whenever and wherever and however i want via sms!!! Hahaa kudos to the cute guy who introduced this to me. heee... think my SMS usage will increase indefinitely for sure (again)

Oh yeah.. for those who din realise it, today's a very very special day!! Cos this is the first and only time we experienced 03:03:03.03.03!! Yeah! 3 seconds after 3 mins past 3pm, on the 3rd day of March in 2003. Well, i spent this commemerative time... in a meeting. Haiz.

1st March (Sat), sun

Just came back from our Fornax dinner. Its been 2 years, 8 mths and 23 days since we first met each other during Engin Camp... ha...

I really like Fornax. This group of friends always make me feel relaxed and at ease. I feel totally at ease with them unlike some other groups that made me feel rather out of place sometimes. Well...

Supposed to be free from work tomorrow. Had wanted to take a trip down to Sentosa and have some sun tanning done, but our branch in Jurong needed a replacement, so... sigh... there goes my plans... hmm...

Updated quite a lot of new stuff in my webbie. Included new stories, Yahoo! Search, my Yahoo! Calender, new photos etc... Hope you like it... =)

Okok... gotta sleep now.. tata! ZzzzZzzz