As Nietzsche would say: pull yourselves higher my brothers, pull up your feet as well. Learn to laugh even at yourself and seriousness itself. Learn to laugh and dance. Have light feet. Like Nietzsche said: no longer to be ashamed of oneself in the presence of oneself is the sign of liberation.
We are after all, as Shakespeare had said, "muddy vestures of decay." Nietzsche had said, even the best of us was still too small: the human, all-to-human pettiness and resentment. In a twisted way, it is comforting and sedating to know that everyone else may be muddy too; it gives me a soporific and lovely but perhaps terrible excuse not to aspire to greatness. I am Dostoevsky's underground man, after all. Read his work here, to know what I am like: The Underground Man. I am not like him in all respects. He in a way seeks suffering and cruelty. I seek comfort. But nonetheless for whatever reasons, I have felt and have had thoughts similar to his. I am always resentful, spiteful, to myself and the people and thoughts I picture in myself. Even when I am wrong, I want to lie to myself and keep on doing what is wrong precisely because it is wrong and because I do not like obeying and listening to others, even when they are right...in this sense, I am somewhat like the Underground man, though I believe he is a lot cleaner than I am or will ever be, I want to be dirty. Because it is "I" who wants it. I cannot tolerate any other "I" May be I should be drowned...ughhh! :( and :) It is pride and ego. Even a sick will wants to will. I am ill. And I want to remain so...because that is who I am. To remain so, at least in thought. I do not wish to be told anything by others. I am God. It is because I feel so powerless against other people and their thoughts and reasons, that I want to be a control freak. That I will not give in. That I stayed my course. That I have always been and always will be against God, Allah, Yahwah. As long as they are Gods, how can I ever become one? Like I said, I am ill. I am the people of the lie. To every demand made of me, I would love to respond like Melville's "Bartleby," "I prefer not to."
After all, like Montaigne had once said: every man at the end of the day sits on his own bottom. So why take injustice and justice too seriously. After all one is simply wronging other people. That this is a dangerous thought and scary at that, I admit...but read more about my thoughts below. Whatever I have said, I have said out of necessity...even the lies that I tell myself...it is all to keep my mind from exploding. I demand lies, because they are a necessity to my mental health. Man is a mystery, and hardly any man knows himself. What is most familiar is at times the strangest. Man, no matter what he does, is strange. He is even stranger for espousing views without even thinking and scrutinizing them. Man is a lazy yapper. He loves to talk and the sound of his own voice. Just like I am. But more about me.
Just click on the Paranthesised: they will take you to my writings. But first, please read this exquisite poem written by Cavafy: Ithaka.
(Main Page) (Play One) (Story One) (Story Two) (Reflections) (More Relfections) (Even More Reflections) (Further Reflections) (On Family) (On the Universe) (Olympus) (New Reflections) (Questions) (Lessons from Iran--an article by Mr. Barry Rubin, a guy worth reading) (Property)
La RocheFoucauld's Maxims
