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Jokes About
Indians
A Mother's Dictionary
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let
the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the
strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even
though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do
everything we say.
Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you
scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing
dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it
and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so
that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset
the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to
make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
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