A Little More About Me In Recent Years, Basically a Testimony of My Life
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In the recent years, I have had to overcome things that a young teenage girl should never face...I know that some people can sit there and say oh she hasnt been in the real world yet she hasn't faced anything yet. Well I am here to tell you that no matter what age you are it doesnt matter what the problems are you still face them at any age and I have come to form an opinion that if God isnt in your life,you will not make it in life without having him to turn to. I know some people can say well I am too old to deal with things like God, and I have gone all my life with out him thats fine but whatever, that's your opinion. I am not here to judge anyone by what they do or how they do their lives. This is about me and what has happened in my life and what God has done. In 2003, I lost someone very close to me...She was like another mother to me b/c she gave advice to me like she was my mother. I know she wasnt but regardless of her age I felt like I could turn to her like a daughter could turn to her mother. Dont get me wrong, I love my mother but sometimes in life a person needs someone to turn to and talk to, stuff they couldn't tell their parents or thought they couldnt. I remember being at home when I heard about her death. I remember trying not to get mad at God for her death, I mean after all God is God and he knew how close I was to her and I thought he had no right to do that. I mean here I was facing losing someone close and I was so angry at God.Right before she passed away, the whole church faced losing our pastor who had been there for 7 yrs. Then we got someone else to fill in. I remember telling her this preacher (Dr.A.W.Smart) was a very good preacher and that I wished we could have him when Bro.Don left. Sure enough we did that July when he accepted the full time pastor's job.Some people tell me that I worship the pastor and not God.Well just b/c I like my pastor's preaching doesnt mean I worship him. I worship God and understand God better b/c of his sermons. I am able to take better notes and understand God at whole new level. I love God and would never put anyone else before him. Then in 2004 my gramdma Shirey was diagnoised with cancer and my whole world was turned upside down from hearing the diagnios and then again I got angry at God but he never left me. I remember talking to my grandmother one day after she was diagnoised and she I remember her saying, Dont ever lose God, she said I am not angry at him about this illness so I dont want you or anyone else to get mad at him.After that talk, I prayed that God would forgive me for being mad at him. I had gone to church all those times I was angry but I know my heart wasnt into it. When my grandmother died in September 2004, 9 months after diagnois I remembered her words, Dont ever lose God and not to get angry. I did my best to keep that in my heart,but at the funeral I sat there and remember saying in my heart and mind, God, why did you do this, why her she was so healthy? But through it all I never lost him, I just accepted his will and let him handle it. Then in 2005, the church lost a very dear and precious lady to our church, Mrs.Ethel Morris.In a year,she and I got very close, so I made sure that when she was sick I would go down and see her. She was a very wonderful person. She would always ask me how the church people were and what I was doing and stuff like that, it was never about her. The same way it was with my grandmother. I remember the night I found out she was dying, I remember telling her daughters I couldnt go in and see her like that, I wasnt ready. I went on to Wednesday night prayer meeting but sat there thinking God,1st my grandmother, now Mrs.Ethel. Both 2 healthy people right up to a diagnois that should never have been, why are you taking her now. I remember the sermon was about Jesus crucifixtion and I was so engrossed in thinking of Mrs.Ethel I didnt hear half of it. I remember asking Mrs. Bonnie (Dr.Smart's wife) to go down with me and help me go in and see her b/c I knew I couldn't do it myself.I went in and just couldnt see her like that I remember standing there and crying with her daughters Rita and Martha standing beside me telling me that when she died she was going to better happier place and would be better off. I knew she would but still couldnt face that.I remember Mrs.Bonnie and Rita telling her I was there and I was the one holding her hand. She said um hmm.. She knew I was.I remember after she died I remember my grandmother's words and both of them how strong their faith in God had been. This time I was still angry but it finally donged on me that neither of them were hurting anymore and that they were in heaven waiting for all their loved ones and friends.I was no longer angry at God. About a month after her death, I had a near death experience when I was on my way to church and I over corrected my self and the car started spinning and it flipped upside down. I knew I was gonna die. I remember seeing all these trees surronding me while it was spinning and asking the Lord not to let the car hit the trees b/c I knew for sure I would die then. When the car started to turn over I remember making myself close my eyes and tune it out so I wouldnt remember doing it. After is was over and I realized I was ok I kicked the door open and got out of that thing...I remember getting out and looking at the car and getting some things out when I realized I was ok and had called Mammaw I looked at the car like it was and just stood there and thanked God that he got me out of that with no injuries. Now that I am still reliving that wreck in my mind after a month I think about how God really pulled me out of that. I remember one of the guys saying I was lucky to get out of that. I said it wasn't luck it was God. I remember sitting down and reliving that wreck and I would cry about it and then sit and say but God was with me and brought me out of that and now that all of it has happened it made me really realize how much closer to God I really needed to be and now I wake up in the mornings way more enthused about getting up early and going to church and even after I was saved I didnt even wanna get up but when I did it was all worth. Now I just thank God every morning that I am still here to worship with more of an open heart than I did before. I know it may all sound crazy but God is the most wonderful thing that has happened to me and I feel that if I hadn't have had him in my life that I wouldnt have survived that wreck.