| For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously |
| 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like, night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 5. 42.7 percent of al statistics are made up on the spot. 6. 99 percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name. 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. 9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. 10. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 11. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 12. Despite the cost of living , have you noticed how popular it remains? 13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool. 14. atheism is a non-prophet organization. 15. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. 20. I intend to live forever. So far-so good. 21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back. 22. If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy all of her friends? 23. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states. 24. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. 25. Support bacteria - they're the only culture that some people have. 26. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong direction. 27. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried. 28. a conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 29. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 30. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. 31. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 32. Never do card ttricks for the group you play poker with. 33. No one is listening until you make a mistake. 34. Succees always occurs in private and failure in full view. 35. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it. 36. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread. 37. The severity of an itch is inversely proportional to the softness of the bread. 38. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. 39. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 th of your life. 40. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 41. Two wrongs are only the beginning. 42. The sooner you fall behind the more time you have to catch up. 43. a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 44. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 45. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade! 46. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow. 47. Always try to be modest and be proud of it. 48. If oyu think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 49. How many of you believe in telekinesis> Raise my hand.... 50. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you. 51. If there isn't hot chocolate in heaven, I ain't goin' 52. Do not meddle in the affiars of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup. 53. God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends. 54. I don't discriminate, I hate everyone. 55. If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your thing. |
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