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Ms. McManners comes to blows with resident.
Dear Ms. McManners

On April 9, we received this letter from a concerned neighbor.

Dear Ms. McManner:

Last night my neighbor was playing his music at his party until 2 am. I respect that people like to have parties and blow off steam on a Friday night, but how about a little show of respect for others! I didn't call the police, but next time I will!  Do you have suggestions for dealing with such inconsiderate people? After they finally turned down the music, I was so mad, I couldn't sleep. Not to mention that I already had to knock on his door once tonight because one of his guests was blocking my driveway.

Sleepless in McDowell

Dear Sleepless:

Thanks for writing. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles and that you have such an inconsiderate neighbor. It sounds like you've tried to be understanding, but are justifiably frustrated.

It's nice when we have something to celebrate. If you're the host of a party, it's nice to send out a courtesy letter a couple of weeks in advance to your neighbors and let them know that there will be extra cars parked on the street and there may be some loud music playing.
Thought of the Day: There's always a solution to any problem. Sometimes, it requires brainstorming. When YOU brainstorm, focus on identifying RADICAL solutions. Don't censor or criticize your ideas. The whole idea of brainstorming is to break out of your traditional thought pattern/rut and create new and fresh ideas. Identify a problem you'd like to solve and challenge yourself to come up with at least 25 solutions (radical or practical). Then, take a look at the list of 25 and choose the top 3 to pursue or develop. -Kristin Taliaferro
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As the host, you should also be sure tell your guests not to block driveways, park on anyone's grass (not even your own - it's illegal!), and to drink responsibly.

Sleepless, your neighbor should have been more vigilant in making sure his guests were being considerate and should have turned down that music by 11 pm, at the latest. After you cool down, you might want to politely tell your neighbor that the music disturbed you and ask if in the future he could try to do better. Also, you might want to offer to exchange phone numbers and try to establish a relationship so that you will feel comfortable calling him should it happen again. When we're friends with our neighbors, we're more likely to be respectful of each other. Whatever you do, remember that saying (that my mother always forgets) "It's easier to attract bees with honey than with vinegar." The nicer  you are, even if you're steaming inside, the more likely you are to build a lasting relationship that will make all your future interactions easier. I once confronted a neighbor about a problem by giving him a loaf of banana bread before gently dropping the bomb, in an ever so sweet Southern way. It worked like a charm and my neighbor felt like we were on the same "side" instead of getting defensive.

Good luck Sleepless! Take a nap today!
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