I can hear we�ve arrived�but I don�t want to face them�not yet. A part of me believes Hawkeye�and another part doesn�t�I need to know the truth before I can see them.
�They�re here they�re here!�
BJ - always the sillier, happier one.
�Shhh� �Sorry Hawk.� �Can you grab the bags?� �Sur�oh my�� �I know, she looks terrible.� �Verge of death more like it.� �Well��
Careful Hawk�I�m not that light.
�I�ve lifted heavier feathers�She�s only just fallen asleep.� �How was it?� �Not much short of hell�where�s everyone else?�
Nice Hawkeye�really nice.
�Charles and Trapper are outback. Potter and Daniel are in the den and the gals are baking something. You sure you�re okay carrying her?� �What her? She�s down to 92 pounds at least.� �Shit� �It took everything to not say anything when I saw her.� �When did she last eat?� �I honestly don�t know. She�s been starving herself for God knows how long.�
He probably wouldn�t know either.
�All I do know is she ate some toast 2 nights ago�but didn�t keep it down.� �Wonderful, I�ll go on ahead.� �BJ is she�oh my Lord.�
Always subtle and honest Colonel Potter, there to tell you what�s what.
�She�s here�in a matter of speaking.� �How was your trip Ben?�
Bound to be Daniel�voice is so similar.
�Korea was bigger laughs.� �You�re not putting her upstairs?� �No, I want her where I can�see her, ya know?�
Like I�m going to do anything drastic anyway? Hmm, comfy couch.
�I�ll go tell Charles and Trapper.� �Son, I didn�t believe it when you told me, but now�� �I know Sherm�she�s really sick.� �Hawkeye I think it�s best if I go home�or to work.� �Yeah okay, thanks dad.� �Ring if you need me.� �Okay!� �See you Dan!� �Bye Sherm!�
Home? I figured he�d live here�
�Pierce is she�oh dear God.� �Hawk�what�how?�
Ahhh Charles and Trapper�couldn�t mistake their voices anywhere.
�Should we go somewhere more quiet?� �What? Oh yeah, good idea Beej.� �Do you want me to shut the�� �NO! I mean�I want her in sight.�
Geez Hawkeye, take a sedative or something�I�m not going anywhere�like this is anywhere.
I can hear them moving away to the next room. But their voices are as clear as day.
�Uncle Hawkeye!� �Heya kiddo! How�s it goin�?� �Is yours and daddy�s and uncle Charles and uncle Trapper and grampa Sherman�s friend here yet?� �Yeah, but you�ve got to be quiet�she�s not feeling well and she�s asleep.� �She needs a doctor! Yous are all doctors�are you gonna make her better?� �That�s the plan Erin.�
Erin�cute kid, Certainly has BJ�s brain�and possibly Hawkeye�s curiosity.
�Okay Erin, where�s mommy?� �Mommy�s here�can you help me and grammie Mildred bake some cookies?� �YAY!� �Thank you.�
Peg sounds nice�
�Hey Hawk�WHAT THE HELL?� �Okay okay, before you all bombard me�� �Son, what�s wrong with her?� �This isn�t Margaret at all� �Certainly not anyone of her I�ve ever seen.� �All you told us was she was really sick and needed help�what is going on?� �QUIET! Please. I haven�t been able to get much out of her�� �Not much? You�ve talked to her haven�t you?� �Not much that makes SENSE Beej. When I have she�s either bitten my head off, denied it, cried her eyes out or been a total Smartass.�
I learnt form the best didn�t I HAWKEYE?
�Denied what?� �Margaret�s been starving herself.� �What?� �She doesn�t eat and when she does she throws it back up.�
�For heavens sake, she�s a nurse, a damn good one too. Doesn�t she have any idea what she�s doing to herself?� �She�s not herself.� �I�ll say. Even from what you all told me how she changed this isn�t that.� �No, really. The Margaret we all know � bar you Trapp, is no where to be seen. And the Hotlips you and I know isn�t there either. She�s an entirely different person. So no guys�she doesn�t know.� �What caused this Pierce?� �I�m not sure yet. I managed to track down Lorraine Anderson. She said this happened before.� �WHAT?!� �When Margaret was about 15 for some reason she started starving herself and later on, throwing up anything she ate.�
That SNITCH! I knew I could never trust her.
�How did she get out of it?� �Her parents threatened her with hospitalisation�I don�t want her to go.� �Are you alright son?� �Fair enough to say I never want to go through a car trip like that again.� �How bad was it?� �Remember her worst mood, times that by about a hundred and swing it violently. I�ve never seen her in such a way before. Her mood swings are worse than I�ve ever encountered. And this is Margaret at her saddest and maddest I�m talking about. She also has this warped idea that we all hate her�
Warped? Try again hero.
�Rubbish!� �And that we only want to help her because we�re doctors.� �That�s bullshit.� �Yeah, we all love her� �And I�ve constantly told her that�what�s worse�I think she�s hearing voices.� �That�s it, I think hell has just frozen over. Margaret Houlihan, hearing voices?�
It is rather chilly in here.
�Yes Charles. But this isn�t Margaret Houlihan. It�s not Hotlips Houlihan. I don�t know who it is.� �Putting the psychological side away for a bit, Hawk how much weight has she lost?� �She says 32 pounds, but I think it�s more��
38 Hawkeye�
�32 POUNDS?� �Mixed with lack of energy, no food, excessive drinking�� �Margaret�s drinking?� �I checked around her place�wasn�t much there. She�s not alcoholic. That�s all visibly I could see, though there�s bound to be numerous other problems. Mentally I�m more worried. Apart from the voices � which I�m not sure about and the thought we all hate her�� �Which we don�t�
Yeah! Right.
�Nightmares. Constant ones, causing her to be sick.� �Sick?� �Almost in my car too. Plus she�s not working and I highly doubt she knows anyone in New York.� �I think I need a drink� �Make that a double� �A Triple� �The whole bottle.�
Typical Swamp Rats
�BJ?� �Yeah?� �I thought Mildred and I might take Erin to the beach. Let you guys sort it out in peace.� �Thanks honey.� �Sherman, if we don�t get back in time, can you get the tray out of the oven�and don�t eat those cookies� �I won�t mother.� �Bye daddy.� �Bye sweetheart, have fun.� �Have you eaten Hawk?� �Yeah, about an hour ago, and no she hasn�t. Just a coffee and aspirin.� �So what�s the next course of action?� �That�s why I called you all�I have no idea how to deal with this.� �Pierce, Boston Mercy may have something in their files�� �Yeah, didn�t we have a similar case there about 10 months ago?� �Wasn�t that the 14 year old girl?� �Yeah.�
Charles and Trapper, working together?
�How did that work out?� �She saw the hospital psychiatrist, went to therapy, was given a diet to stick by and left at a fairly healthy weight. She�s coming back every few months for a check up.� �Hawkeye I know you don�t want her to go but�� �But nothing. We�re doctors, right? She�s got a whole hospital right here. We all have different specialties�we can help her.� �Does anyone know where Sidney is at the moment?� �Connecticut I believe.� �I�m not sure if Sidney�ll come up here for that, I mean he has his own practice and�� �There�s no harm in calling right?� �And if he can�t get up here right away, he�ll tell us how to deal.� �Number�s by the phone�he wanted to check up every so often after we got back.�
Great � a shrink. I�ve had my life�s worth of them. And SIDNEY of all people!?
�Most importantly�does she want help? Hawk?� �I wasn�t sure until about 40 minutes before we arrived. She just broke down, asking me to please help her�to get rid of them and him.� �Them? Him?� �That�s what made me think of voices�Look I really don�t care if she wants help or not. This isn�t Margaret�this isn�t anyone of her. Whoever it is can�can just go to hell. I want Margaret back. I want the same person I had before we left.�
You left? When did this become all about you? All so damn patronising!
�Okay Hawk�we�ll help you get her back.� �We want her back too.� �I want to meet the new Margaret Houlihan you all speak about.� �You�ll love her� �Just not as much as some�� �Son, why don�t you get some sleep? We�ll watch her.� �No, I just wanna sit with her for a bit.� �Okay Hawk, call if you need anything.�
And now he�s coming over�to �watch me.�
�Please God, help her�bring her back to me.�
ME? Still with the *yawn* it all being about him�
Later
Hmmm, where did the blanket come from?
�We�re baaaack! They still asleep?� �Yeah, how was it?� �The Atlantic � as gorgeous as ever!� �Speak for yourself Trapp, the Pacific is way better.� �I agree honey!� �You Westerners are all the same.� �Erin, which do you prefer?� �THE BEACH!� �See Charles � the beach!� �Which translates as Atlantic.� �Pacific!� �Atlantic!� �Pacific!� �Boy I�m glad I didn�t have the three of you loons at once.�
Sure would have been one helluva time!
�Grampa Sherman�is the cookies done?� �I don�t know, let�s go find Grammie Mildred� �Yay! COOKIES!� �I�m going to take a shower, that water�s colder than back home in Winter.� �See � Pacific, okay hon.� �Quite an excitable child your Erin.� �Why Uncle Charles, you�re getting a little clucky!� �You should see him with Henry. What 3 year old doesn�t love a walking candy store?� �How often is it I get to see Erin?� �Couple times a year.� �You should get your own kids�ruin their teeth.� �Monica and I are discussing it at the moment.� �Really? That�s great!� �You ready for kids?� �I think so��
Charles MARRIED?! Well�odder things have happened.
�Erin�s been begging me for a younger brother.� �No sister?� �She wants a brother. As she tells us every night.� �Yeah, Henry wants a brother too�I think it�s cute, Lou thinks it�s a lot of work.� �You thought of adopting?� �Yeah. Each time I do, I think of Kim. He was such a cute kid.� �Why don�t you write Father Mulcahy? Maybe he could help.� �There�s also the Church in Park Lane, they could help too.� �Yeah, I�ll talk it over with Lou.�
Yeah, and because of me, he was almost killed�great move Houlihan!
�Cookies anyone?� �Choc Chip is da bestest!� �Coffee�s coming.� �How is she?� �Sleeping, quite restless.� �Poor girl.� �Hawkeye�s not that much better either. That boy cares for her more than he knows�� �It was always clear Pierce was attracted to her�� �Even before you guys came, he wanted to make a grab for her.� �This isn�t just attraction though.� �Yeah.� �Plus he was the one who had to go rescue her.� �I haven�t known Hawkeye for long, but when I saw him come in, he looked like he had just lost his best friend.� �He�s not too far off.� �Daddy, why is Uncle Hawkeye sad?� �Why do you say that sweetie?� �He looks sad.� �He�s sad because Aunty Margaret is sick. And he doesn�t know if he can make her get better. But you want to know something?� �Yeah?� �He will make her better�he really likes her.� �That�s good, cause I wanna help too!� �Well you know how you can do that? Go get changed.� �Okay daddy!�
They would flip if they knew I was listening. I wonder what time it is?
�You believe Hawk will get her better?� �Or die trying�if I know Hawkeye, he�ll do anything and everything to help her.� �But he�s gonna need help.� �Right, which is why we need to go back to Boston.� �What?� �Charles is right, Boston has much larger hospitals than anywhere in Maine� �If we want to help Margaret, we need to go and find as much information to help her.� �Yeah you�re right. You wanna wake Hawk and tell him you�re leaving?� �Yeah�he�d kill me if I left without saying goodbye.�
Trapper Trapper Trapper�always trying to fix things.
�Hey, hey Hawk.� �Mmm? What, is she okay?� �Still sleeping � see. Look, Charles and me are gonna go back to Boston, snoop around there. We can only help her by knowing what to do.� �Yeah, good idea. When are you coming back?� �Monday. I need to check back at home� �As do I, never know what those people have been up to.� �Yeah�okay, see ya Monday.� �Bye Hawk� �Goodbye Pierce.� �Beej, I�m gonna sleep some more�wake me if she does.� �Okay Hawk.�
Don�t count on it�
�Daddy, is this okay?� �Perfect, where�s mommy?� �Still in the shower!� �Well kiddo, what do you want to do?� �Play with Uncle Trapper!� �I gotta go see my kids Erin, I�ll be back on Monday though.� �Okay.� �Erin, sweetie, I have to go too, but I�m coming back with Trapper.� �Okay uncle Charles.� �You guys got everything?� �Yeah, well�see ya BJ, Sherman, Mildred� �See you all on Monday then.� �Righto� �We�ll be back with hopefully the key.� �Goodbye boys, see you later.� �Bye Tell Peg!� �Okay Erin, what can we do?� �Make cookies?� �You did that already.� �Can I watch Television?� �It�s 4pm so�� �Mildred and I are going for a walk.� �Okay, see you in a bit.� �Can I?� �Why don�t we go find mommy and watch it with her?� �Okay daddy.�
See � everyone�s happy families. BJ, Peg and Erin, Potter and Mildred, Trapper, his wife and kids, Charles and his wife�Hawkeye and his dad�
What have I got? No one�nothing�that�s what.
�Margaret WAKE UP TO YOURSELF! Do you know how pathetic you sound?�
�Hey, the Angel�s getting a brain. She�s right, you are pathetic�
�She SOUNDS pathetic - not is. This self-pitying is disgusting! This is not you; they all care about you and want to help. Stop being so damn stubborn!�
�PATHETIC PATHETIC PATHETIC!!!�
Shut up
�Margaret grow up�
Stop it
�Yeah � CHILD!�
Stop it!
�So so helpless�just like when you were 15.�
�SHUT UP!�
�Margaret��
�You were no good then and you�re no good now�
�SHUT UP SHUT UP�JUST STOP IT, LEAVE ME ALONE.�
�Margaret, it�s okay it�s okay�no one�s here but me.� �Hawk�Hawkeye what happened?� �Please, make them go away�I want them to go away��
And here I am, screaming like some maniac, wanting them to go away. Just one problem�who is them?
