For an issue so rhopalicly urgent that you're requesting I fly immediately to that semordnilap, Nigeria, you are very maritorious about getting back to me.
Then Jr. tries to get *any* sort of response from Edom's lawyer.
Hi there,
The guy I was dealing with, Mr. Edom, has flipped out. I don't know what's going on with him but maybe you can help me?
Don Morgan Jr.
And finally, Barnum tries one last-ditch effort. It didn't get a response, but hopefully it worried Edom that he might be under some legal scrutiny.
To: Edom Ooedom of Nigeria
CC: Legal representation of said Edom Ooedom
CC: Don Morgan, Jr.
Sir:
According to statute 903 of Chapter XV of the State of New York's Civil code
pertaining to slander, libel, seduction, and defamation of character, we assert
that you have defamed the character of Don Morgan, Jr. of Westhampton Beach, NY,
hereafter referred to as "my client," when you broke off business
dealings with him and called him "a baby."
I quote:
903. The said justices shall not have power to try actions for slander,
libel,
defamation of
character, malicious prosecution, breach of promise of marriage,
false imprisonment,
or seduction. (a)
Neither shall they
have jurisdiction to try and determine any crime or
misdemeanor which
the laws of this State require to be tried by a jury; but
they shall have
power, subject to appeal, to try without jury, and to render
and enforce
judgment, in all cases of crimes and misdemeanors coming within
their jurisdiction.
You are hereby summoned to appear in New York District Court IV in Westhampton
Beach, NY, USA at 9:00 AM on September 1st, 2003. If you can not attend
this date, you are directed to send a representative or to contact the Court to
arrange for a mutually more acceptable time.
Sir, this is a very grievous matter and my client will not stand idly by and
take it. My client also feels you were attempting to seduce him as you
kept referring to him as "Dear." We are determining if
accusations of seduction will also be added to the suit. I should also
warn you that I have yet to lose a civil case - I suggest you strongly consider
settling out of court. I would have expected better behavior from a fellow
lawyer.
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