Jokes
Here are a few of my favourite jokes. ***WARNING, MAY CAUSE OFFENCE***
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit!
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with epilepsy? A transformer
What do you call a person with epilepsy in a bush? Russel(rustle)
A refugee and a black man jump off a cliff at the same time... who wins? Society
What's worse than ten babies in a bin? One baby is ten bins.
Why was there lipstick on the blondes steering wheel? She tried to blow the horn.
What's the difference between a hedgehog and a BMW? With the BMW the prick is on the inside.
A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "why the long face?"
Jesus walks into a bar with 3 nails. She asks the bar tender"Can you put me up for a night?"
God and all the saints were up in heaven one summer all deciding what to do for the summer. St.Paul says"How about Mars?" God replies"No, I don't like the colour". Another saint says"How about Earth? The people are nice and the weather is pleasant?". God replies" Holy shit.No way. I got a jew pregnant 2000 years ago and they're still talking about it".
What did the mother say to her blonde daughter before going out? If you're not in bed by 11, come home.
De Carte was in a pub drinking away. When it came to last calls the bartender asked "Do you want another drink?". De Carte said"I don't think so" and disappeared.
What was Stevies Wonders first hit? A lamp post.
Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
This man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.He says" One drink for me and one for the road".
A Vampire walks into a bar and asks the bar tender for a cup of hot water. He brings the vampire the hot water and asks" I thought Vampires drink blood?". The Vampire pulled out a used tampon and said" I'm making tea."
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