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The "Host"
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Formerly The Host With The Most, Malixous' Host recently underwent reductive surgery.
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Diamond
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Claims to be a freelance paramedic by trade, Diamond teamed up with the band ORION'S CLOUD to play guitar. His biggest enemy is the staff from the treatment facility where he lives. "Staff won't let me check out my meds. I'm getting someone's ass fired!"
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Greg
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Lead singer for ORION'S CLOUD. When he is not rocking out with his fellow bandmates, Greg suffers daily from panic attacks and his own kleptomania. He is currently receiving care through seminars and under the guidance of his life-long friend, Diamond - who is currently working as a freelance paramedic at a local treatment facility.
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Lieutenant James
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The bass player, thus the rhythm and soul, of local band ORION'S CLOUD. Lt. James served three days in Desert Storm. He was honorably discharged when he shot a sargeant in the hip; Lt. James stated that he felt " . . .the hip was saying, 'give me your best shot.' I hit it square in the eyes: That was the order!"
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Farmer
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A freak accident at his citrus nursery landed him at the treatment facility. Not very talkative to begin with, he now communicates entirely non-verbally.
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Bowling Boss
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Always ready to hit the lanes and roll his balls, The Bowling Boss works full-time as a loan officer. Listen to him this season as he tells the story of the narcoleptic hooker from Paraquay who gave the Bowling Boss his infamous blue balls.
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Bowler 2000
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Totally redisigned and refurbished for the new millenium, Bowler 2000 is an asset to any bowling league. Comprised of a nearly perfect cyborg design, Bowler 2000 does contain one design flaw. It is known to leak radioactivity at near fatal levels.
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Eddie Bucks
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A booking agent on the Eastern Bowling Circuit, Eddie makes his millions rigging high-stakes, invitation-only tournaments.
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Miss Terry
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A former voodoo priestess from New Orleans, she now sells performance- enhancing drugs to unsuspecting bowlers. One of her many homegrown creations include the DEA's enemy number fifty-six: Anibowlics.
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Detective Kroller
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The Number One Detective working through the government-devised group STRIKE FORCE. Kroller's first priority is to rid the great sport bowling of performance enhancing drugs. His second concern is a possible romance between him and his sassy female partner.
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Crazy Mike
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Part of the Jerk-Off crew, Crazy Mike is what his name implies and more! (Although he isn't actually crazy, and his name is really Kassahn).
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Baron Von Evil
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A former silent film character, Baron Von Evil is well-known in swinger circles. The Baron usually laughs when questioned about the wickedness in the world, and is running for senate in the next term.
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Gabsuo
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The spokesman for various pro-duct tape organizations, Gabsuo usually rockets through the city, propelled by a mechanical armadillo. Speaks only in Japanesse subtitles, or dubbed English.
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Little Larry
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A child who wants nothing more in life than to defeat the wizard in his favorite video game. Larry is in constant conflict because of homework and chores. Good luck, Larry.
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Film Critic
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A failed director, the Critic finds fufillment adding his "two cents" to other's artistic endeavors. And drinking.
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BitterMan
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The Gun-Owning Citizen - listen to Bitterman rant nonsensically about his woman, and what Billy Bob did to her. Bitterman is always shining one of his many rifles.
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Hippy Hitman
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Usually found roaming the outskirts of tye-died concerts, the Hippy Hitman is a known associate of Bitterman.
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