Hideaki Takizawa in One ! -the history of Tackey-

I want to share the feelings that i had without caring about the scale of the events. This is the show that i want to make this time.

Most of the shows that i've made since now were based on a subject that already existed before and we were just remaking it. For instance, in the last show "Takizawa Enbujou", there was a part based on the Byakkotai story and we just did the adaptation and production.
(Byakkotai is a group of young samurai who fought against the soldiers of the Meiji's government, under the orders of the last shougun of the Aizu clan, Katamori Matsudaira. They committed suicide when they saw the castle defences were broken during the battle of Aizu, because they thought they had dishonoured their lord. But actually it was just the city around the castle that burned. After the fires stopped the castle was still standing. One boy survived, Sadakichi Iinuma, this is how we know the details of the story.)

This time the show is about me, it was hard to explain by words what type of show it was supposed to be. Especially right after the meetings when it was still really vague, it was really difficult to know how to explain all this. There had a lot of concrete events in my life but since it was meant to become the content of the show if i had talked about that it wouldn't have been fun. It was at that precise moment that we had the press conferences (august 14th), i really had a lot of sweats because of that (laugh). The journalists wanted to write about those events but as i said i couldn't tell them much, it would have diminished their longing to see the show.
While doing the rehearsals we were making some changes, and we couldn't say "in the end we didn't follow the plan". In fact i think that it's only on the premiere's day, when the curtains rise that we understand at once what kind of show it is this time. We feel the audience's reaction directly on the skin, and our tension changes quickly. Even with the same lines, the same set, the strength of that "atmosphere" changes the show really fast. When people see the word "History" they can think that it's just like the historical tv series, that we start from the birth and keep on going little by little in the chronological order. But we didn't do that in that show. We move through many periods, we go there and come back...
This time, i've talked a lot about my parents' divorce but i think it often happens that the children's suffering is caused by the parents. But it's not just painful, it's often for the children's sake. It can become an opportunity to become stronger emotionaly. If someone from the outside witnesses this he can say "Oh, that's sad", but for the children there are good things too. It's not that we hate the parents. We just accept their decision. To think that if our parents are happy it's also a good thing for us, if we really wish for our parents' happiness like that, maybe we become children who understand the feelings of other people. In fact at that time i was at the age to go to the nursery school, i was too young to properly understand. There must be kids thinking that their parents' happiness means their own happiness. Of course there must be some who are sad, lonely, and for whom it's difficult. Every one reacts in a different way. This is why people around can't say it is wrong. I don't want people to associate the parents' divorce with the fact that children are automatically pitiful. By doing this show based on events that really happened to me, but without caring about their scale, i wanted to share with every one the feelings that i had then. This is the show i wanted to make this time. For instance, if they're coming to see the show with all the members of the family, each of their way of feeling the emotions will be different. The children's way of feeling, the parents' one, the divorced parents' one, the one of the children raised up in a family living in harmony, none is the same. It's good if it makes the public think that they have to live every day preciously. "To live the present moment", it's something that i've realized myself by thinking about many things and applying it to the show. Until now maybe i didn't realize it. Because i was living normally, i didn't think about that (laugh). For me, my parents' divorce is not something sad at all, i don't want to blame my parents. Of course i didn't want that but kids must accept what the parents have decided. I'm sure that this event became a great turning-point in my life. At that time i didn't realize that. With only one parent there are experiences, usually normal for the people, which can't be made. But even without being able to make experiences like normal people, we can live many things all the same. The surrounding is only interested in the beginning. They say "It's sad that he can't do that". But it's wrong. There are many positive experiences that we can do.

Because the mother works desperately in the place of the father, even if we want to be spoiled by our parents we can't be, we have to do things by ourselves and this way of living, we master it since we are kid. I'm saying things that seem admirable but i had my rebellious period (laughs). It was the period just before entering the Johnny's. I would have arguments with my mom and i would fly from home, that kind of things. Usually i would go to my friends home, and build a secret base and camp there. I had quite some fun (laughs). Of course there were things that i didn't like. When i was young, i didn't tell my friends that my parents were divorced. The day of the father's visit my friends would ask me where was my father and i would answer that he was on a trip abroad, i would tell that kind of lies. Now it doesn't bother me anymore, but when i was young i really wanted to hide it. But that kind of events now that i'm thinking about it, it wasn't negative at all. If there was a child in the same situation i would tell him "don't see that as a disadvantage" from the bottom of my heart. And at the same time i would like to give these words "Accept what happened, it's your life so you have to live it and move on". But if i was saying what i really feel, now if i think about it i wonder why at that time i didn't stop. I used the words "turning point of my life" but i had a lot of that kind of moments in the past. But it wasn't limited to great events. My parents divorce was an important event of course, but apart from that in my everyday life i had different experiments. The change happens little by little. When i realize it, it became something which contributed to make the man that i am now. This is why, it can look like a common phrase but i think that every day is usefull. Even when i was thinking about entering the Johnny's, i think that i had this need of independence regarding my parents. Just after that rebellious period i was thinking like a child "i want to live by myself !". I have the feeling that i was only thinking about one thing, one way or another i wanted to become an adult quickly. I wonder why i was wanting to become an adult. Maybe because i would be able to live alone freely. I didn't know things in concrete terms but if i could become and adult, i thought that a new world would open. By becoming adult, alone, i thought that my relatives would aknowledge me. I had this feeling i didn't want to be considered with condescension because i was a child. This is the conception of a child. (laughs)
Now i am of age, i am at the age when it is not weird to be called an adult, i feel it is a bit different from what i had imagined. Nevertheless, i don't hate that, i accept who i am. Since i have realized that, i wonder what it is to be an adult now (laughs). I understood this year but, in fact as long as the parents are with them, even if the children grow up, somehow it is impossible for them to be independent. When you think as a parent, that you feel the parental responsibility, maybe it is the first time that you are independent. I don't know. I think so now. I am not worried about the word "adult" like i used to when i was a child. But by trying to be adult, there was a change in my environment. The places where i used to play also changed, there i met several people, i discovered various things too. Since that time, i think the Takizawa Hideaki from Johnny's changed little by little too. Until that moment i think i really looked like an idol. But since that time when i started to say "i can tell that too", "i drink alcohol" i feel i could gradually show who i really was. Of course before i wanted to show who i was too but i looked passive, i didn't express that part of me often. In spite of what i am saying, since a long time i don't pay attention to my appearance and all. It is not about my current appearance but for example when i received data, i was saying it as it was. But i was too straight, to the extent that it couldn't be written as it was, this is why there is a filter here. In my opinion, it can't be helped. But for this show, i couldn't let this filter on. I prepared myself not to use it. Since everything is true, there can't be any lies. I really want to protect this part. This is why i think it is going to be a production never seen before. Since it is veracious, i only show the important parts. This time this is the kind of subject i worked on.

Part 1 ./. Part 2 ./. Part 3 ./. Part 4

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