| did i say i was tired? |
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| I am so unmotivated to do this today. It's one of those days where I am just tired of everything. Tired tired tired. Tired of complaining, tired of crying, tired of trying, tired of failing, tired of myself. I have no oomph right now. |
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| I don't know how therapists do it. I can't even stand to listen to myself go on like this. Maybe therapists dissociate too... maybe they go play golf in their heads or something when clients get annoyingly repetitive (like me this week). Who could blame them? Phooey. |
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| I'm about to attempt to "switch" to Friday mode again. I want to have some fun today. I think having fun reminds me of why I bother to keep at it when I feel this tired. I just need to think of something that I still enjoy enough to have "fun". Everything seems duller when i'm depressed, even the things that I love to do. I just need something a little bit different I guess. And I need it to be interactive, so that my attention is focused outside of myself. Maybe I'll bug R to do something fun with me tonite. For all the times we bitch that he can't maintain a serious conversation, maybe there's some good in that today. We can keep it silly so that I don't cry. I hope. |
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| - Nikki |
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everything...
i'm invisible...
an eraser of love...
why dont you call me i feel like flying in two...
i'm invisible...
an eraser of love...
why dont you call me i feel like flying in two...
an eraser of love...
i don't dream. (ice cream.) i scream so much.
you know what i mean. this electric stream.
and my tears in league with the wires
and energy and my machine.
this is my beautiful dream.
i'm hurting no one. hurting no one...
i want to give you everything.
i want to give you energy. i want to give a good thing.
i want to give you everything. everything...
in one final scream of love who could
climb this high she looks beautiful
like a child i feel tears. and i want to scream.
you know what i mean cause this is hurting no one.
an erazor of love.
hurt. the necessary feeling.
why dont you call me i feel like flying in two...
an erazor of love.
- Cowgirl, Underworld
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