Episode 11
Episode 12
Episode 13
Episode 14
Episode 15

Episode 13

Cages

“She’s not here and she didn’t come home last night,” Francis said, walking into the kitchen where Adrian was already making breakfast.

            It was Monday morning so she didn’t have to go to work, but Francis still had classes. Adrian looked at the clock. They’d slept in it was already late.

            “Aren’t you going to be late for classes?”
            Francis shrugged, walked over and poured herself a cup of coffee. “I don’t care. I’d rather spend the day with you. If I care tomorrow, I’ll go then.”

            Adrian nodded. She probably should tell the little shit to go to school, but she’d rather Francis spent the day with her, too. She seemed to hear what Francis said then and realized Francis must have answered the phone that she’d been ignoring. “Who didn’t come home last night?”

            “Tammy. That was her coach on the phone – she missed practice. I checked her room and her bed hasn’t been slept in.” Francis put a cup of coffee down on the counter and pushed it over to Adrian. Adrian smiled at her just because she was there, and Francis smiled wildly back. “So, you think she got lucky?”

            “God I hope so.” Adrian turned the burner off under the cream of wheat and covered it.

            “So what were you going to do today?” Francis asked.

            “I was going to work in the garden.” Adrian smiled as she had a thought. “You know what? Let’s do something that you want to do.”

            “I’m not a child, Adrian, I don’t have to be entertained. I could help you work in the garden,” Francis said.

            “I want to go somewhere with you, Franny. Someplace not on B Street.” She smiled. “The zoo. I’ve never been to a zoo before, have you?”

            “Once when the school went on a field trip, and once with Tammy and her parents. I think they’re like big supporters or something because when we went they let us in free and we had a guide.” Francis looked excited. “I’d love to go.”

            There was a knock on the door. Adrian started out of the kitchen and asked over her shoulder, “You suppose that’s our wayward child?”

            “She wouldn’t knock, she’s got a key,” Francis said.

            “Good point.” Adrian unlocked the door and slung it open. Before she even looked to see who it was she yelled back towards the kitchen, “What’s that officer? Do I have a truant student here?”

            From the kitchen Francis laughed.

            It was Milly who looked at her and smiled. “So…did you keep your little girl home because she’s sick?” Milly asked.

            Adrian grinned back. “Oh at least that. Come on in. What’s up with you?”

            “Lonely, need an intervention,” Milly said with a frown, throwing her arms around Adrian’s waist. Adrian put her arms around her and gave her a squeeze. Milly rested her head on Adrian’s shoulder and Adrian patted her back.

            “Boy, I turn my back for one minute,” Francis said, walking out of the kitchen clicking her tounge. She set two bowls on the table and Adrain didn’t have the heart to tell her that the cereal hadn’t stood covered off the heat long enough. She’d just eat it loose and grainy and act like that was how it was supposed to be.

            “Come on.” Adrian peeled Milly off of her, took her hand and led her to the table where Milly flopped in a chair. “You want something to eat?”

            “No, I was thinking about Marcella and couldn’t go back to sleep so I went down to Burger Heaven and got a short stack and five sausages. Ate the whole thing. I never eat that sort of crap, but it’s good, so I get now why she eats it. Didn’t make me quit missing her, though, and I’ll have to fast the rest of the week or I’ll pop my G-string come Thursday night.”

            “Coffee?” Adrian asked.

            “Yeah,” Milly said. Adrian got the coffee, grabbed her bowl and moved it so that she was sitting across the table from Francis.

            “You don’t want to sit by me?” Francis said with a pout.

            “If I sit next to you I can’t see you,” Adrian said with a smile.

            “Oh God, they weren’t just talking out their asses,” Milly said. She grabbed Adrian’s chin and spun her head so that she was looking at her then she laughed happily and let her go.   “My God! Adrian’s in love.”

            “Drink your coffee,” Adrian said with an embarrassed laugh.

            Milly sighed. “I wish Marcella could be here to see this.”

            “Do you know when she’s coming home?” Francis asked.

            “Supposed to be mid June, but they’ve fucked us so many times now I don’t trust anything they say. You know they screen their calls and letters. She’s allowed to talk about seeing some hellashious shit, but any time she starts to really tell me anything about what’s really going on the connection myseteriously goes out. She doesn’t even try anymore, just talks mostly about wanting to be home and the things we’ll do when she gets home. Of course that’s pretty tame, too, since… well she can’t be gay.” Milly looked like she was on the verge of tears and Adrian was in way too good a mood to want to deal with Milly crying or even think about where Marcella was.

            “Francis and I are going to the zoo, you want to go with us?” Adrian asked.

            Milly looked from Adrian to Francis and back again. “I don’t want to be a fifth wheel.”

            “You won’t be,” Francis said. “Come on. It will be fun and Adrian’s paying, right?”

            “Right,” Adrian said, and in that moment if it was possible she loved the little shit even more. Milly was right. It was too bad Marcella couldn’t see this; it would have cracked her completely up.

            “Are you sure I’m not going to be in the way?” Milly asked Adrian.

            Adrian smiled broadly at her. “Honey, we’re going to be looking at animals not fucking.”

Tammy stepped out of Faye’s apartment looking both ways to make sure no one saw her, so of course Jan was standing there and of course she saw Tammy. Tammy cringed and started for her apartment.

            “Good morning, Jan,” Tammy said, looking at the floor so she didn’t have to see Jan glaring at her as she walked past, but Jan grabbed her arm, and she had to look at her so she cried out quickly. “She made me do it!”

            Jan laughed, no doubt because Tammy was afraid of someone nearly a full eight inches shorter than she was.

            “I tried not to, Jan, I really did.”

            Jan patted her back. “I’m well aware of Faye’s seductive powers, Bud.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Listen… I didn’t stop you to try to kick your ass which would just look like a gnat trying to screw an elephant anyway. I’ve known for awhile that Faye was working you and I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and… well she may never be able to forgive me and even if she does she’d most likely never be with me again. I like you, you’re damn good people Tammy, she deserves to have someone nice.”

            “Thanks,” Tammy said, and was glad Jan wasn’t going to try to kick her ass. “I need to get some clean clothes.”

            Jan smiled knowingly, “And some sort of ointment.”

            “Yeah,” Tammy said. She started towards the apartment and turned. “She still loves you, Jan.”

            “Even if that were true it wouldn’t matter. She doesn’t trust me and I’m not sure that she should. Tammy… if you hurt her, then I will kick your ass or die trying.”

            Tammy nodded and went on in the apartment. As she walked in there was applause, and she could feel her face turning bright red. Yhen they were laughing so she just shrugged and tried to walk normally back to her room.

            “Little sore in the saddle there, Nud?” Adrian asked. Then the ass holes just laughed more.

            “Fuck you guys,” Tammy said, but was smiling in spite of herself.

            “So, where’s Faye?” Adrian asked.

            “Fuck! Does everyone in the building know already?”

            “Not yet,” Milly said with a laugh. “But give it thirty minutes.”

            “Or tell Jerry and count to five,” Adrian said.

            “Unless it’s something to do with him. Anyone know why he looks like someone shit in his cereal?” Milly asked.

            Adrian just shrugged and Tammy snuk on back to her room. Her crotch was burning, no doubt because it was the first time she’d ever been fucked. She flopped on her bed, looked at the ceiling and grinned like a mad man. Faye, she’d had sex with Faye, and Jan wasn’t going to kill her, so life was good.

            Adrian walked in the room and threw something at her. “Hey stud, we’re going to the zoo. We just called Faye and she’s going with us. You going?”

            Tammy thought about classes and how much she didn’t want to go. She’d already missed practice. “If I can walk,” she said still grinning.

            “That’s why I gave you that.” Adrian left and Tammy got up and picked up the tube off her bed and read the label. “For vaginal tenderness” it said.

            “Thank God.” 

All five of them had wound up sqeezing into Tammy’s BMW, which was fine with Francis because it gave her an excuse to sit mostly on Adrian.

            Faye was sitting up front with Tammy, and talking a mile a minute hopped up on sex. Francis knew the feeling.

            “I haven’t been to the zoo in ages,” Faye said, “and why not? I don’t know. It’s like what? Thirty minutes away? We just get so locked into our stupid little lives, work and well lying around and watching TV and we just stagnate. We just lie around and concentrate on everything that sucks instead of actually trying to enjoy what’s around us so maybe things won’t suck so much.”

            “So I take it you enjoyed Tammy last night,” Adrian said in a teasing tone.

            Faye looked at Tammy who was blushing scarlet and grinned like an imp. “Several times actually.”

            “Christ Faye,” Tammy muttered.

            “Probably doubled her sexual experience in one night,” Francis said. “Not to mention that she hadn’t ever actually been on the bottom before.”

            “I’m going to fucking kill you, Francis,” Tammy hissed.

            “You don’t strike me as a stone butch,” Milly said thoughtfully.

            “I don’t even know what that is,” Tammy squeeked out. Her face was getting redder and redder by the minute.

            They all laughed and Faye leaned over and kissed Tammy on the cheek and patted her leg. “It’s all right, Baby. You’re young. You haven’t been a huge whore like some people in this car… Oh wait! That’s everyone in this car except you.”

            Faye turned and looked at them grinning. She was happy and it was a good thing to see.

            “Damn,” Milly said.

            “What?” Francis asked her.

            “There are four of you so I really am the fucking fifth wheel,” she said and just sounded heart sick.

            “Ah come on Milly, how many times did I tag along when you and Marcella and Faye and…” Adrian stopped there. “I always used to tag along.”

            “Yes, and you always went home with some slut and I can’t do that,” Milly said. “And I miss this – what you guys are doing.”

            “What?” Faye asked. “The extremely hot sex?”

            “Yes, and just being part of a couple. It’s not like I can look for someone new because I still have someone, but she’s not here and it sucks.”

            “The zoo is hardly a place to cruise for chicks,” Adrian pointed out.

            “That wouldn’t have stopped you trying,” Milly said. She looked at Francis, “We once went to the grocery store with her and this slut winds up doing one of the stockers on a stack of pallets in the store room, and she never used to go to the hardware store that she didn’t wind up with a date.”

            “So,” Francis looked to Adrian. “I guess I just can’t let you go anywhere without me.”

            “Why would I want to go anywhere without you and why would I want anyone but you?” Adrian whispered in her ear, and then Francis just went ahead and climbed completely in Adrian’s lap, wrapped her arms around her neck and started kissing her.

            “My God what did she say to her?” Faye asked.

            “I don’t know   but I see what Tammy means about the pheromones,” Milly said, fanning herself with her hand. “Wow!” Milly grabbed Adrian’s hand as it started to slide under France’s shirt. “I haven’t been watching porno because I’ve got no where to put that energy, and I’m not going to sit here and watch you two fuck.” Then she quickly let go of Adrain’s hand because it felt good.

            Milly didn’t like all the self sacrifices she was making so that Marcella could do what she thought she needed to do – which was apperently serving a nation that hated her. Hated them all. To fight a war over nothing but a president’s hard on for blood and oil. Fight for America’s freedom which apparently meant the Patriot Act and a constitutional amendment to stop gays from marrying. Marcella was fighting the fucker’s war, and with the war, the state of healthcare, the economy in the toilet, and with an election looming on the horizon what does the president focus on in his fucking state of the union address? Saving marriage from being ruined by queers.

            “Stop it,” Adrian said, shoving her in the shoulder so hard that she hit the door of the car. “We’re going to the zoo; we’re going to have a good time.”

            Then she felt really bad because Adrian and Francis weren’t making out and she shouldn’t have stopped them because they were so much in love it was silly, and that new love feeling didn’t last long and they needed to enjoy it. Milly forced a smile and nodded.

            “Hey Milly,” Faye said leaning over the front seat. “You were right.”

            “Huh?” Milly asked.

            “I did get her cherry,” Faye said with a huge smile. Tammy almost ran off the road and she turned beet red.

            “Well that explains the half a tube of vagisil,” Adrian said. They all laughed and for the moment Milly forgot her problems.

            “You guys all suck,” Tammy said.

Francis was right and Tammy’s parents were trusties, so they let them in for free. To make things even better there weren’t many people there.

            The zoo was a trip. Just a zoo, but a whole different place when seeing it through Adrian’s eyes. She seemed as interested in the habitat enclosures as she was the animals. She kept running around behind them checking out how they were made. They weren’t there long when Francis reached in her purse, pulled out a small sketch pad and pencil and handed it to Adrian. Adrian looked at her with some surprise, and Francis explained.

            “I know you like to sketch out ideas for paintings. I thought you might find something you’d like to sketch.”

             “Thanks.” Adrian kissed her cheek then looked around quickly to be sure she hadn’t been seen. They lived on B Street, and it was easy to forget that you couldn’t just be yourself everywhere else. Adrian sat down on a bench and started sketching and Francis walked up behind her, watching over her shoulder completely mesmorized by the process. She felt like she could just sit and watch Adrian paint for hours on end, it was like magic. If Adrian was bothered by her watching over her shoulder she didn’t say so.

            Not too surprisingly Adrian wasn’t drawing the monkeys in the cage in front of them but the man-made rocks that filled the enclosure. At the bottom she wrote a quick note of what she’d seen when she’d looked behind them.

            Adrian was wearing cargo pants, so she stuffed the pad and pencil down in one of the big pockets on the leg as they walked to the next enclosure. Francis watched with more than mild amusement as Faye kept trying to hold Tammy’s hand and Tammy kept jerking it away and whispering stuff about being in a public park and her being in the closet.

            You didn’t want to think that the world was like that, that even in a big place like Shea City you could encounter prejudice. But in the new US, the one owned and opereated by the corporations and the religious right, they were only really free on B Street.

            Faye thought it was hysterical that Tammy was so uptight and so she escalated to grabbing Tammy’s ass till finally outside the tiger exhibit she screamed out, “Damnit, Faye, stop it!”

            A mother holding on to her son’s hand turned to look at Tammy and shook her head. Then dragged the boy away.

            “Fuck, damnit ain’t that bad a word,” Milly said with a shrug.

            “Tight ass,” Faye said.

            “Who? That woman or Tammy?” Adrian asked with a laugh. She was sketching the tiger and Francis was watching her again.

            “I don’t know about Tammy’s ass, but her pussy…” Tammy slapped a hand over Faye’s mouth.

            “God damnit, Faye, shut up. What do you fuckers not understand about my parents are fucking trusties of this zoo and I’m in the closet?” Tammy whispered hotly.

            Tammy took her hand off Faye’s mouth and Faye licked her lips, “Or you’ll what?” Faye challenged.

            Francis watched as Tammy’s whole face became a mask of desire.

            “I’m pretty sure Tammy just came in her pants,” Milly teased.

            “Come on guys, could you maybe quit riding my ass?” Faye started to say something and Tammy took a finger and put it over her lips. “No don’t say it.”

            “Give Tammy a break,” Adrian said, closing the sketch pad and putting it and her pencil away again. She grabbed Francis’ hand and started pulling her down the trail and the others followed.

            “They’re holding hands,” Faye said with a pout.

            Adrian looked at Francis then, and it was obvious that she hadn’t thought about it. Then she leaned down and whispered in Francis’ ear. “If anyone says anything we’ll pretend to be European.”

            Francis nodded.

            “You know they have a queer day at Disney World. I know because it was on the news that the Baptists were boycotting Disney because of it. We should so do that some time,” Faye said.

            “What? Boycott Disney?” Milly laughed.

            “No, go for queer day,” Faye answered.

            “Yeah,” Adrian said, nodding her head.

            “Pretty bad that we have to find out about stuff like that because someone protests it,” Milly said with a sigh.

            “It’s pretty bad that we can’t just relax anywhere,” Francis said.

            “Surely to God they won’t vote for that prick again. If we can get rid of him and all his little friends maybe we can start to get some rights back,” Faye said.

            “Looking at animals,” Adrian said. “Having fun. Not talking about the fucking shrub.”

            And then they were watching the meercats and Adrian was sketching again.

            “Aren’t they cute Adrian?” Milly asked.

            “Yep,” Adrian answered, sketching furiously.

            “You know what else is cute, Adrian? A French bull dog puppy.”

            Adrian laughed and shook her head. “Like a dog with a bone,” she mumbled, looking at Francis and smiling.

            “They’re small dogs, Adrian, with short hair,” Milly pleaded.

            “No,” Adrian said, closing her tablet and pocketing it.

            “Heartless bitch,” Milly mumbled.

            Adrian smiled broadly, “You have a snake at work, what else do you need?”

            “I hate that fucking snake,” Milly hissed at Francis. Then she grinned. “But he brings in the big bucks that bastard.”

            “You dance with a snake?” Tammy asked.

            “Sometimes.” Milly smiled seductively then winked at Tammy and said, “Does that turn you on, honey?”

            “Milly,” Faye took hold of Tammy’s arm and jerked her towards her, “don’t be flirting with my woman.”

            Milly laughed. “If Marcella doesn’t get home soon we may have to share her.”

            “We could do that,” Faye said wickedly.

            “Oh Jesus,” Tammy sighed.

            And then she had Faye on one arm and Milly on the other as they walked towards the next exhibit. “Come on, guys. Really. This isn’t funny.”

            “Oh yes it is,” Adrian whispered to Francis, taking her hand again.

            An older couple walked by with two kids, obviously their grandkids, and they looked them up and down with disgust. Adrian spit out a bunch of gibberish in a French-type accent, and Francis spit something back. Then Milly and Faye did it, too, and the expression on the couple’s face changed from one of disgust to amusement and they even waved as they walked by.

            “Damned foreigners.” Adrian laughed when they were long gone and then they all cracked up.

            “Why did that work?” Tammy asked in disbelief.

            “Because we’re strange foreigners,” Adrian said with a shrug, her voice took on the tone of the announcer in Rocky Horror, “with ways far different from their own.”

“Perhaps I should do some folk dancing,” Milly said. They all laughed.

“Seriously guys, you’re going to get me in trouble,” Tammy said to Faye and Milly. They laughed but let her go.

“What the hell kind of a lesbian are you?” Adrian said loudly, and Tammy glared at her.

“You guys suck!” Tammy said. and stomped off ahead of them.

            Faye ran to catch up with her. “Come on, Baby, we’re just teasing you.”

Tammy mumbled something Francis couldn’t hear, and then she took Faye’s hand and said, “I’ll hold your hand if you’ll quit grabbing my ass, and everyone will stop yelling to the world that I’m a queer… Oh look Elephants. I love elephants!” She took off in their direction pulling Faye after her.

When they got back to the house Faye dragged Tammy off to her apartment.

            “You want to come in?” Adrian asked Milly.

            Milly smiled. “You know what guys? I really had a good time and thanks for taking me, but I think it’s time I let the couples be couples.” She hugged Francis and then hugged Adrian. “Besides, I have to go put a zoo scene in my new book.” She left and they walked into their apartment but they didn’t get to do couple things because the light was flashing on the answering machine, and when Adrian checked it she found that Mary and Judy had left four noise complaints.

            “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Adrian kissed Francis and took off up to the third floor. She heard screaming as soon as she stepped onto the floor, and could see Judy and Jerry and Chad down at the end of the hall obviously in a heated argument.

            “What the hell is going on?” Adrian stomped up to them. She was having a good day and didn’t appreciate having to deal with any shit between tenants.

            “I tried to ignore it, Adrian, but you weren’t here and they’ve woke the baby up a dozen times in the last week. But today they haven’t quit screaming, and I’ve tried to just talk to them, but Jerry won’t stop screaming long enough for me to even try to help,” Judy said as Adrian walked up.

            “How many times has that baby woken us up in the last year and a half? We never bitched,” Jerry said.

            Adrian smiled at Judy. “Well, he does have a point there. Now what’s going on?” she asked Jerry and Chad, and wished Stella was here to deal with this sort of shit.

            “I’m sorry if my life coming completely undone is bothering everyone!” Jerry yelled and then stomped into his apartment shutting Chad on the other side. Chad ran a hand down his face.

            God Adrian hated screaming.

            “I didn’t mean to cause a problem, Chad, really,” Judy said.

            Judy was the one who ran the discussions now, and if she couldn’t talk to Jerry and make him be calm and rational how the hell was Adrian going to do it?

            “I understand, Judy. We’d all like to sleep,” Chad said with a sigh. “We’ll try to keep it down.”

            Judy nodded and went back to her apartment.

            “What’s going on?” Adrian asked Chad point blank.

            “Oh fuck, Adrian.” He looked at his feet and then he started to cry.

Adrian sat him down at the table. “Franny, can you make some herb tea?”

            “What kind?” Francis asked. She’d obviously been sitting on the couch watching TV, but had gotten up when they walked in and was now half way to the kitchen.

            “Make whatever you like.”

            Francis nodded and then ducked into the kitchen.

            “Now… what’s going on?” Adrian asked, pushing a box of tissues towards Chad.

            He wiped his nose and then got a fresh tissue and wiped his eyes. “I fucked up, Adrian.”

            “Everyone fucks up, Chad.”

            “Not like this.” He took a deep breath, fighting his tears and his rage. He looked right at Adrian. “What’s the worst thing you can do to your lover?”

            Adrian didn’t think, she guessed she should have, but she was just trying to guess what he thought it was. “Cheating.”

            “No. You could kill them. That’s worse.”

            “But… Jerry’s still alive,” she said carefully, and thought God damned Stella leaving me here to deal with this shi. Tthis isn’t me, not who I am. I’m no mediator. I’m a good listener but that’s mostly because I can’t think of anything to say.

            “Oh God, Adrian. I fucked around on him. I was at a party at a client’s house. Jerry had to work and I told him I wasn’t going because he doesn’t like these people and I thought what he doesn’t know isn’t going to hurt him. There was booze, there was coke, there was ecstasy, and I did it all. I hadn’t done anything that stupid in years. I had unprotected sex with more than one guy. Hell I lost track of how many. They just sort of passed me around. I… well I was just sick about the whole thing, so I just tried to forget about it. I didn’t tell Jerry. It was a mistake, I was sorry I did it, and I knew I’d lose him if I told him, so I just didn’t tell him and again I thought what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Right.” He started crying. “I’m HIV positive, Adrian. I had to tell Jerry about everything and now we’re just waiting for his test to come back and hoping to God he isn’t infected. He wants me out and I have to go and I just feel like the biggest idiot on the planet. I was in a commited relationship. We were safe. Then I did this and now I’m dying and he may be dying, too.”

            “People live with HIV every day now.”

            “Oh please, Adrian, you don’t live with this shit you exist with it. Your life becomes tests and pills. I did it to myself and maybe a deserve it, but Jerry,” he cried more, “Jerry didn’t do anything wrong. Five years, in five years he never cheated on me, not once, and this wasn’t the first time I cheated on him it was just the first time I didn’t use protection, the first time I got caught.”

            “No one deserves to have HIV, Chad. You did something stupid, but you don’t deserve to be sick or die from it,” Francis said, walking in and sitting at the table.

            “I don’t care if I die, Franny, I just don’t want Jerry to have it. He has to be tested now and in three months and three months after that to be sure he doesn’t have it. Even if he’s clean this time he’s got to live with this over his head for nearly a year.” It reminded Adrian that she and Francis needed to be tested again.

           “There’s nothing you can do about it now, Chad, you just have to deal with it.” Francis said.

            “Franny, will you be all right here? I need to go check on Jerry.”

            “Ah yeah, sure.”

Francis guessed she’d brought this on herself because she had stupidly felt like she had to put her two cents in and now Adrian had gone off and left her to deal with Chad’s meltdown, no doubt thinking that since she was taking psychology she should be able to handle the situation.

            “So,” Chad laughed with no humor, “I guess this just proves what Adrain has always thought of men. That we’re nothing but desease-carrying swine.”

            Well, it certainly made Francis glad she’d given up her bisexual ways. “Is there any chance you and Jerry can work this out?”

            “Did you hear what I did? We were supposed to be in a monogamous relationship and I exposed him to AIDS. He won’t touch me and won’t let me touch him and I don’t blame him. If he has HIV then he’ll never be able to forgive me and if he doesn’t then why should he risk exposure to be with someone who cheats? After all, like Adrian said, cheating is the worse thing a couple can do to each other, but I some how managed to do something even worse. I don’t expect him to keep me, and who will have me now that I have the plague? No one decent. No one like Jerry.” He started crying again and she patted his back and tried to think of something anything to say and thought. I feel bad for him, but it’s hard to feel too sorry for him because of what he’s done to Jerry. Maybe we should get Jan, let a cheater talk to a cheater. Damn, that was unkind. See? I’m never going to be able to help people if I can’t learn to be more objective. That’s what the books all say: Objectivity is the key to analisis.

            “You have to worry about taking care of yourself now, Chad. Have you talked to a doctor, started the drug therapy?”

            “I don’t care. I don’t care what happens to me.”

            “But you will care later, Chad, and if you don’t take care of yourself now there isn’t going to be a later. You have a law practice; people in this community count on you. Without you people in this community will be completely screwed. Your clients…”

            “One of my clients did this to me,” Chad reminded her.

            “How many clients do you have, Chad, and how many got you stoned and gave you HIV? You have friends and a standing in the community. You have an obligation to tell people what happened to you so that maybe it won’t happen to them.” At this point Francis had no idea what she was really saying, she was just trying to be objective and give him reasons not to blow his brains out.

            “I just keep going back. If I hadn’t gone to that stupid party at all or if I’d gone, had a drink, and left. If I’d left at any point that they were doing things I shouldn’t. The real problem was that I wanted to do them so I kept finding excuses to stay and drink too much and do drugs so that I’d have an excuse to fuck around, and now I’m paying for it.”

            And what did she say to that? It was true, and she was much closer to Jerry than she was to him. If he had given Jerry HIV she was never going to forgive the stiff-peckered little idiot. Objectivity was hard.

Adrian knocked on Jerry’s door and he yelled, “Fuck you Chad!”

            “It’s Adrian,” she said. A few seconds later the door opened. She walked in and followed him, sitting on the couch as he sat in a large overstuffed chair.

            “I’m such a fucking idiot. I trusted that ass hole. Did he tell you what he did?”

            “Yes.”

            “Did he tell you he has HIV?”

            “Yes.”

            “I’m waiting for my test results. I understand if you want me out of the restaurant until I get cleared.”

            “That’s bullshit, Jerry, I’m a diseaseaphobe and I’m not worried. You can’t get it from casual contact; however, I don’t want you doing any prep because I don’t want you handling knives.”

            Jerry nodded silently.

            “I don’t know what to say, Jerry. I’m not Stella. I hate it for you. I hate that on top of losing your partner you also have to worry about your health.”

            Jerry nodded. “I’m sorry. I’ve been screaming off and on all week. I know you hate screaming, and poor Mary and Judy. When he’s here I just… I’m so mad. He’s made me look like the world’s biggest idiot and if he’s given me AIDS…”

            “But Jerry… Well, I don’t want to get really rude here, but unless I’m wrong he’s a strong bottom and you’re a strong top, so chances are good that he didn’t give it to you. Let’s just hope he didn’t. I like Chad, but what he did is unforgiveable. Kick his ass to the curb.”

            “Oh I’m not going to take him back, but it’s hard, Adrian. Five years, Adrain, and I love him.”

            “I know.”

            “But here I am looking at the possibility of being HIV positive, and what I’m madest about is that he made me look stupid. How could I not have known? He came home probably still stoned and with cum running out of his ass. Then he just showered and crawled into bed with me and I never even fucking woke up.”
            “You know what Jerry? No one’s going to think you’re the stupid one. You don’t get much stupider than cheating on the person you love and bringing home a fucking STD so that you have to tell on yourself. It could be worse, Jerry, he could have just kept right on lying.”

            Jerry nodded. “I’m staying here, but I keep looking around and… Well, we bought all this shit together and I just keep thinking how are we supposed to sort out who gets what? Like the fucking parakeet who gets him and…”

            “You know what? I’m sure the little lawyer pud will say otherwise, but as far as I’m concerned the cheater has to let the cheaty have whatever they want. That’s what happened when Faye and Jan split.”

            Jerry nodded. He remembered. Of course Faye and Jan had only been together about a year while Jerry and Chad had five years worth of shit.

            “Why don’t you pack a bag with his clothes and toiletries and shit and he can just stay with us till he finds someplace else?”

            “You’d do that for him?”

            “I’d do it for you and he can by God get out and start looking for a new place tomorrow.”

            Jerry went to the bedroom and packed a bag. When he walked back in there were tears in his eyes but he didn’t cry, he just handed the bag to Adrian. “Thanks.”

            “Jerry, if you need to talk or anything… Well you find someone to talk to because as you can see I’m not any good at this shit.”

            Jerry laughed and patted her on the back. “I think you’re better at it than you think.”

Jerry’s first test came back negative and everyone breathed a little easier. Chad stayed with them a week and then moved into an apartment on the other side of the district. He was thinking of bring suit against the man who had infected him because a friend had told him that the man knew he was positive. Of course first he’d have to prove that he was the one who gave it to him. It was a huge mess and sort of cast a miasma over the whole house.

            “I blame Bush,” Jan said firmly as they were all sitting around in the rec room after work on a Thursday night.

            “All right, I hate Bush, too, but how can you blame him for Chad cheating on Jerry?” Faye asked in disbelief.

            “Yeah, really,” Jerry said.

            “Come on, he’s fucked everything up. Marcella and a bunch of other poor fuckers are all in Iraq. The economy is completely screwed. Everybody is just sort of depressed all the time and people will do some sick shit when they’re depressed just to feel… anything,” Jan said. “You know that fucker let those planes hit those buildings. And he and his lot of Bible thumpers are just constantly bombarding our kind, doing everything but coming right out and saying that queers are why there are terrorists. Welcome to the new Macarthy Era. People are being black listed left, right and center. Hell, I never liked the Dixie Chicks. Now I have four of their albums because they got black listed by this administration because one of them told the truth about our fucking president, and I just think that everything that goes wrong is his fucking fault.”

            “You know, I hate to say, this but she makes a lot of sense,” Mary said. She and Judy had brought Mikey down because they couldn’t get him to go to sleep. They were letting him run off some steam so he’d get tired. “In fact, let’s blame Bush for giving our baby a fucking coke. Oh no wait that was Judy’s mother, but she voted for Bush so there you go.”

            “Your mother voted for Bush?” Faye said in disbelief.

            “Yep,’ Judy said. “My mother who is totally all right with me being queer and loves Mary and thinks the greatest thing in the world is that we had Mikey doesn’t think Bush is really anti-gay.”

            “We’re screwed if this fucker gets in again,” Jerry said. “After all look what he did to my relationship.”

            They all laughed.

            “Anyone hear from Stella recently?” Faye askedm changing the subject. Well at least she thought she was.

            “Yeah I talked to her last Friday. She had anti-gay protesters show up at her book signing in Alabama. She said they had all sorts of hateful signs, but most of them were fight gay marriage signs,” Adrian said. “Whatever stupid queer thought that now was a good time to try to get marriage rights… I wish that fucker had one of those signs shoved up his ass.”

            “What?” Francis asked in disbelief. “You don’t believe in gay marriage?”

            “I totally do believe in gay marriage. We deserve all the same rights straight people have. But you don’t put on a steak suit and jump in the pen with the tiger and you don’t wait till the country has been taken over by the religious right to try to get gay rights. We’ve drawn attention to ourselves, and now they’re attacking. Our state and I don’t know how many others will now have bills on the ballot in November to ban gay marriage. Bill that wouldn’t have been there if we’d just laid low till humans were in power again.”

            “They’re just using us to take attention off the real issues,” Jerry said. “I think the scary part is that it’s working.”

            Milly walked in then. “Hey, how’s it going?”

            “You’re off work early,” Faye said, looking at the clock. It was just 11:15.

            “Economy’s so bad even the strip club is hurting. Doug said one of us could go home early. I said I’d go and then he had a near epeleptic fit,” Milly said.

            “Why?” Francis asked.

            “Milly’s his best dancer,” Faye said.

            “I just didn’t feel like working.” Milly shrugged. “I’ve just felt off all day. I’d done two sets, and when he said he wanted someone to go home I was only too glad to get out of there.”

            “You coming down with something?” Jerry asked.

            “No… just sort of out of it.”

            Adrian walked over to Francis and took her hand.

            “Where’s Tammy?” Jan asked Faye.

            “Away game,” Faye said with a sigh.     Milly had gone in the kitchen. She walked out carrying a glass of water and sat down by Faye. “I wanted to go with her but I couldn’t get off work and she seemed just as happy. You know I’ve never dated someone who was closeted before. It’s really a drag.”

            “Who are you trying to kid?” Milly asked with a laugh. “You’re enjoying the hell out of your little baby dyke, defiled by your own hands.”

            Across the room Francis could see Jan flinch, so she wasn’t as all right with the Faye/Tammy thing as she pretended to be.

            “Let’s go home,” Adrian whispered in her ear. She looked and sounded tired.

            Francis nodded and followed as Adrian led her towards the door.

            “Good night,” Francis said to everyone. Adrian was silent. At their door Francis asked. “You all right, Adrian?”

            “Yeah, just a little down. The crap with Jerry and Chad. Stella getting picketed. I’m just tired, Franny.”

            After she’d showered Adrian climbed into bed and crawled over to Francis drawing into her arms. They had this huge bed and often as not they wound up sleeping on the very edge of it. Of course the huge bed was good for other things besides sleeping.

            It was the way that she was holding her that told her before she said, “I don’t feel like making love, Franny.”

            Francis hugged her back and kissed her gently on the lips. “You know there isn’t a law that says we have to have sex every single day.”

            Adrian let her go long enough to reach over her and turn out the lights and then she was holding her again. “I need you, Francis.” She whispered so low Francis hardly heard her.

            Francis thought about that a minute. What did that really mean that you needed someone? It meant that they were important to you, to your very existence. You could love someone and not really need them. “I need you too, Baby. Are you sure you’re all right?”

            “Just tired.”

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