Lost

I look around me, frustration building. The ones I love turn away; they want nothing to do with me. I feel alone, desperately alone. I have friends, but they are few and far between. I feel alone, unloved.

"Lord," I cry, "why have you left me so alone? Why do you neglect me?"

Then a wind rushes around me, and the world fades away. I stand truly alone, outside the world.

Maybe I oughta learn when to shut up...

There is light; blinding, impossibly bright light. I try to shade my eyes with my hands, but the light penetrates my very flesh. I shut my eyes, but the light burns them as if my eyelids don't exist.

And I stand in the glory of the Lord.

I cannot look; if I look upon his brilliance, I will die. "Lord, why do you do this to me?" I ask. "Why do I walk through these trials when everyone around me has someone? Why am I alone?"

Lightning flashes, but its luminence is overshadows by the brilliance of the Lord. Thunder booms, but it is silenced by the voice of the Lord, hard and punishing.

"Where were you when I laid down the waters of the earth? Where were you when I brought forth the land from the waters? Where were you when I created the sun, the stars, and the moon? Where were you when I created the planets and all of the universe? Where were you when I brought forth the plants and the trees and the animals? Where were you when I breathed life into Adam? Where were you when I created Eve? Where were you when I brought Israel out of Egypt? Where were you when I parted the seas? Where were you when My Son suffered and died on a cross? Where were you when Stephen was stoned? Where were you when John the Baptist was beheaded? Where were you when My people suffered and died for their beliefs?"

"Lord..." I began to weep. "Lord, I don't understand the path you have laid for me. I don't know what to do! I don't know where to go! Lord, I don't have your wisdom."

This time the Lord's voice was gentle. "Where were you when I laid down the waters of the earth? Where were you when I brought forth the land from the waters? Where were you when I created the sun, the stars, and the moon? Where were you when I created the planets and all of the universe? Where were you when I brought forth the plants and the trees and the animals? Where were you when I breathed life into Adam? Where were you when I created Eve? Where were you when I brought Israel out of Egypt? Where were you when I parted the seas? Where were you when My Son suffered and died on a cross? Where were you when Stephen was stoned? Where were you when John the Baptist was beheaded? Where were you when My people suffered and died for their beliefs?"

"Lord?"

The light shone around me, brighter and brighter, more than I thought possible. The voice of the Lord silenced my doubts. "My child, your path is hidden from you; rest assured that I will guide you; I have a plan for you. Be assured that I will never abandon nor forsake you. Though you walk through the fires of life, My Son will guide you; my Holy Spirit will fill you. Do not dispair. Nothing can separate you from My love."

"Lord...." I cannot speak more. My voice is lost.

"My Word will be a Lamp unto your feet, a Light upon your path."

The brilliance begins to fade away. "Lord!" I cry. "Don't leave me!"

I hear a low, timeless, amused chuckle. "My child, I will never leave you. I am always here. Just ask. Draw near to Me, and I will provide for you."

Lookin for love and I lost my way
another long night has turned to day
nobody likes to feel this way
so I draw close to You
that's what I'm supposed to do

-"When I Praise"