The New (Reboot) Adventures of the LMBP--the Origin

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Author	Topic:�� The New (Reboot) Adventures of the LMBP--the Origin
LARDLAD Member	posted March 24, 2000 01:51 AM �� [Same rules as the "...Year One" thread except no reboot ending this time---this means you afoffboy ] ...A transport bound to Earth seemed unremarkable except for the presense of Engine J. Brande, one of the richest fellers in the galaxy. Among the other passengers were three teenagers: Anthony Taylor, Michael Lash, and Candace Ames. Anthony was from planet Wizworlmb where he met Michael who switched flights there. Anthony and Michael struck up a fiendship. Anthony was distracted, however, by a slightly older beauty a few aisles over. The beauty, Candace, flirted with Anthony with an occasional wink. They didn't know it, but their destinies would be forever linked. When the transport landed, Candace felt uneasy for some reason. Suddenly, Engine J. Brande was attacked by... [run with it, guys ] IP: Logged
JWB Member	posted March 24, 2000 02:11 AM �� Beppo the Super Monkey and his loyal Primate Platoon!! These sinister simians were out for revenge on Brande for turning their peaceful homeworld into a gigantic used space cruiser lot. Brande seemed done for, when the three teenagers suddenly.... IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted March 24, 2000 07:46 AM �� ...rose to the occasion. Candace, expressing uniquely-powerful morale-boosting abilities, convinced the super-simians that R. Engine J Brande was innocent. His business-parter Doyle was responsible for their worlds' condiion. While this was going on, Anthony and Michael were using their super-eating and super-goofiness to keep R engine J safe. R Engine J, touched that 3 suh disparate personalities would risk all for him, begins posting over and over on the next-to-dead LEGIONNAIRES board...... IP: Logged
bellbookcandle Member	posted March 24, 2000 08:20 AM �� ...and the three formed the Legion of Message Board Posters. Soon more people were drawn to join them, attracted by their mental skills and their magnetic and electrifying personalities. Posters with all kinds of powers, from goofiness to homemaking talents, joined them and they moved into a clubhouse. The building's unique design was inspired by a maths lesson! All seemed to be going well, but then.... IP: Logged
armsfalloffboy Member	posted March 24, 2000 02:58 PM �� Hey, I didn't mean to end it, I just was trying to me funny (my wife always says I take a joke too far....) end interlude IP: Logged
LARDLAD Member	posted March 24, 2000 10:35 PM �� ...in walks 2 intense young applicants, Grey Birdboy and Sk8maven Damsel! The young, idealistic members are struck by their obvious swagger and pomposity. They demand a tryout! Grey Birdboy displays his more-magnificent-than-thou wings that are about 50 feet across at full extension as well as his mystical powers of the Pompous Ass. Sk8maven Damsel displays her unique abilities of the indignant rant and the invulnerable force shield that can deflect all rebuttals and contrary opinions. The two are inducted by the sheer force of their wills! Meanwhile, Lumber Fox, inducted shortly after the teams formation, harbors a terrifying secret in his quarters... IP: Logged
LoserLad Member	posted March 25, 2000 01:53 AM �� After a long evening on monitor duty, Loser Lad staggers back to his quarters. With nothing more than a quick shower and a good night's sleep on his agenda, Loser Lad is alarmed to find a trail of red droplets leading from the magnolift directly to his door. "That looks like blood!" cries Loser Lad. Frightened, Loser Lad follows the trail into his room, across the floor and into the closet of his friend and roommate, Lumber Fox. Not knowing what to do, he calls down to the monitor room, and hastily explains the situation to Newcru King, who has just replaced Loser Lad at the monitor board. "Don't worry," Newcru King replies, "some club soda will get those stains right out of that carpet! I'll be up after my shift to tidy up." Loser Lad, still alarmed, though comforted by the fact that at least his carpet would soon be spotless, steels himself, and slides open Lumber Fox's closet door to find... IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted March 25, 2000 04:56 AM �� ...the cannibalized skeletons of the League of Super-Assassins (except Blok). Since no one misses them anyway, Tsarin Kid and Cobalt Kid are called in to investigate Lumber Fox's retcon into a 7 foot tall fang, tooth, and fur beast. They discover that the Legion's timeline has been manipulated by..... IP: Logged
Shadowplay in Candlelight Member	posted March 25, 2000 08:51 AM �� the erstwhile Goon Boy, who's looking rather tall and rather pale, with a strange bulbous nose and pink hearts drifting around his head as he hums a tune that sounds suspiciously like "Popeye, the sailor man, yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk!" The Kids scream, "OH, MY GOD! He's turned into Alice the Goon! REBOOT, REBOOT!" They turn and run from the room. As they dash around the corner, Tsarin Kid trips over a cowering Lumber Fox who's mumbling something into his claws about, "it's just too big to eat, boo-hoo!" Tsarin Kid grabs his bloody nose, looks at Cobalt Kid and yells . . . IP: Logged
LARDLAD Member	posted March 25, 2000 05:23 PM �� ..."OW! My nose! It hurts like a $#@$in' mother$#@$er!!! Sh1t, sh1t, sh1t!!!!!!! Well don't just sit there with your #$@%$ up your &%$#$#, Cobalt!! Get me a $#@$in' icepack, you $#@$in' %^^&$#!!! OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW" Shaken, Cobalt runs to get the icepack. Meanwhile, Lumber Fox has dissappeared during Tsarin Kid's hissy fit. Tsarin Kid finally passes out from the pain and shock. Minutes later, Cobalt returns and finds that Tsarin Kid as well as Lumber Fox are gone! Scratching his head and holding the icepack, Cobalt wonders where they went when suddenly he is attacked from behind by... IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted March 27, 2000 01:52 AM �� ...Sk8maven Damsel, who has been blighted. Wallowing in her newfound blighted evilness, she beats the tar out of her fellow Legionnaire as if he were Monstress. A brief respite occurs when.... IP: Logged
LARDLAD Member	posted March 27, 2000 04:12 AM �� ...Shady arrives on the scene! Using her morale-boosting powers, she manages to soothe Maven. The state is so alien to Maven, blighted or not, that the blight plague flees Maven's body! Unfortunately, it leaps right into Shady! The respite is over because now Shady is whaling on Cobalt! At the same time, Shady's now blight-corrupted power is now broadcasting despair in the minds of all Legionnaires in the building. Meanwhile, we switch scenes to a pocket dimension where Tsarin Kid and Lumber Fox have found themselves. They are just getting their bearings when they see the welcome approaching figure of the long-lost... IP: Logged
LumberFox Member	posted March 27, 2000 04:49 AM �� LardLad Lad. LLLLL (as he is affectionately known) dissappeared when the bathroom he was in returned to the pocket dimension after the walls between the dimensions where weakened by Newcru's excessive cleaning. Unfortunately for LLLLL the pocket dimension is make up entirely of lint, odd coins from strange lands,paperclips and a used hankerchief. This means that LLLLL has been unable to find any sustenance and has wasted away to a shadow of his former self. Leaving this plotline to dangle precariously, our story takes us back to the clubhouse where Cobalt Kid has escaped from the blighted Shady and heads for..... IP: Logged
Grae Member	posted March 27, 2000 05:46 AM �� ...safety in the Subs cave. Unfortunately it is empty as Lurker Lad is visiting another board & there are no other subs! Suddenly, a slight scuffle from the trophy room attracts Colbolt Kids attention. Cautiously he approaches. The door is ajar. Very, very slowly CK reaches out and opens it, only to scream in terror at the scene before him. Revealed in all its malignant glory is... IP: Logged
LumberFox Member	posted March 27, 2000 08:11 AM �� Tsarin Kid rolling on the ground and beating his fists on the base of a statue of a tall blonde who fell in battle (with LardLad over the last portion of seafood alfredo). Alerted to CK's presence by the blood curdling scream, Tsarin Kid looked round sheepishly, mumbled something that sounded like 'Baaaah', and stumbled from the room with tears streaming from his face. Curious, Cobalt Kid walked over to read the plague afixed to the base of the statue. To his surprise .... IP: Logged
bellbookcandle Member	posted March 27, 2000 11:02 AM �� It reads "Food Maker Kid. Died from exhaustion after being overworked into an early grave by the Legion of Message Board Posters. Sadly missed by his hungry colleagues." Suddenly a deafening sound fills the air and he rushes out of the room to find.... IP: Logged
LARDLAD Member	posted March 27, 2000 04:31 PM �� ...2 Lard Lad Lad's and Lumber Fox lying on the Subs' kitchen floor holding their bellies. They and Tsarin Kid had escaped from the Pocket Dimension when they fell through a hole in it. The first thing these two (three?) did was raid the subs' fridge. Cobalt noticed it smelled really rank in the kitchen and realised that the loud sound was one or more of them farting! With his fingers pinching his nose, Cobalt asked Lard Lad Lad why there were two of them. The two of them replied in unison..." IP: Logged
MLLASH Member	posted March 27, 2000 08:17 PM �� ..."I'm from Cargg. My third self was killed by a plate of seafood alfredo gone bad." IP: Logged
Cobalt Kid Member	posted March 27, 2000 09:00 PM �� Suddenly Newcru bursts into the room. "What's the matter?" says Cobalt. "That fart was from Lumber Fox! And it left a streak!" he says desperately A beaten battered Cobalt doesn't realize the horror of it all, and says "So?!" Newcru screams "He ain't done yet... IP: Logged
bellbookcandle Member	posted March 28, 2000 04:03 PM �� Suddenly the doors were flung open and the blighted Shady stomped into the room, with death in her eyes. She advanced towards her erstwhile colleagues who hesitated to attack and decided to race out of the room instead. She turned to chase after them, but Lumber Fox moved on the floor and the air was filled with a deafening sound. The others peered from a safe distance, and saw Lumber Fox smiling sheepishly and Shady coughing and picking from her hair bits of plaster that had fallen from the ceiling. "Oh Lumber Fox, you've cured me of the Blight," she said. "It's a miracle. How did you know that would work?" Before he could reply, a voice rang out... IP: Logged
LARDLAD Member	posted March 28, 2000 04:20 PM �� ..."We're ba-ack!" The Legionnaires looked up to see their enemies Hummer Lass and B.J. Boy swooping from above. The two had a tendency to conduct guerilla hit-and-run attacks on the male Legionnaires. Though they were enemies, the male Legionnaires were always happy to be attacked even though afterwards they felt strangely drained. Some of the males preferred to be attacked by Hummer Lass, others by B.J. Boy. After their attack was over, the two swooped away not to be seen again for awhile until they would commence a similar sudden attack at an undisclosed time. Shady could do nothing but roll her eyes and say, "Boys..." Later that evening as one of the Lard Lad Lads slept he awoke in a yelp of pain. When he opened his eyes, he was astonished to see that Lumber Fox had eaten his arm! What's more, the skeletal remains of his other body lay nearby. Astonished LardLad yelled..." IP: Logged
Cobalt Kid Member	posted March 28, 2000 11:56 PM �� "Somebody give me a hand! Literally!" As the Legionnaires assemble to see what the problem is, Hummer Lass quietly sneaks out of Cobalt Kid's room. Lash Lad notices, and before he can scold Cobalt, B.J. Boy sneaks out of Lash's room. As Tsarin Kid begins to sedate Lumber Fox, Loser Lad and BBC Lad burst into the room, fear in there in there eyes screaming... IP: Logged
GoonBoy Member	posted March 29, 2000 03:04 AM �� "We're being attacked by the entropy spinach!" As the stunned Legionnaires struggle to comprehend, Loser Lad explains. "It's Alice The Goon. He's really a pawn of Glorith Oil who's in cahoots with Blutru. They plan to use the spinach to de-age us all to infants and then take over the universe!" Suddenly, Tsarin Kid shouts... IP: Logged
GoonBoy Member	posted March 29, 2000 03:05 AM �� "We're being attacked by the entropy spinach!" As the stunned Legionnaires struggle to comprehend, Loser Lad explains. "It's Alice The Goon. He's really a pawn of Glorith Oil who's in cahoots with Blutru. They plan to use the spinach to de-age us all to infants and then take over the universe!" Suddenly, Tsarin Kid shouts... IP: Logged
bellbookcandle Member	posted March 29, 2000 03:33 AM �� "Lash Lad has been snatched by the Time Mouse Trapper!" Astonished, Shady asked: "Don't you mean the Time Trapper?" Tsarin Kid shrugged. "Not any more. He got a day job. It's funny, but I thought we'd found out that Glorith was really the Time Mouse Trapper...and has Sk8maven Damsel always been a snake?" LardLad groaned. "Here we go again. I've lost an arm, we're about to be attacked by a psychotic vegetable and you're going over your paranoid regression theories again. We have not lived before, damnit." Lumber fox began to howl, and they turned to see the Entropy Spinach filling the sky. Loser Lad shouted: "What do we do now?" IP: Logged

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