Cliodhna opens her eyes slowly and blinks, trying to focus. She's laying on her cabin-bed on her stomach, and she feels like she's been asleep for a week. This time her sleep was blissfully uninterrupted by dreams...at least not by any she can remember. Through the porthole she can see daylight-- "how long was I sleepin'?" she wonders. She feels much better, although very groggy and disoriented.
Cliodhna slowly pushes herself up into a sitting-position and takes in her surroundings while holding her head. Thoughts...memories of what happened the day before start coming to her. Why...WHY did Ray try to argue with her fath...with Markova?? She closes her eyes and calms herself for a moment-- pushing her Shadow back into a corner in her mind where it can hear but not speak-- and then stands shakily. The slow rocking of the boat doesn't help her equilibrium, but she's able to make her way over to the door by holding onto furniture for support. She opens the door slowly and peeks out.
Memnon is sitting in the hallway just outside the door sleeping in his chair. He snores softly as Cliodhna opens the door.
Cliodhna puts her fingertips to her lips and smiles, feeling herself flush with the warmth of happiness, gratitude, and...something deeper for this man. She quietly closes the door behind her and squats next to Memnon's chair, watching him for a minute. He looks so kind and gentle like this. Finally she puts her hand on his arm and shakes it a little. "Mem?" she calls softly, peering up at him.
Memnon opens his eyes a bit and yawns. Looking down he smiles, "I see you're awake. Are we there yet?"
"Mem...how long have ye been sittin' here?" she says with a little smile.
"I don't know...how long were you asleep?" He says looking down at her.
Cliodhna's face crumples into an expression of amazement and surprise. "Ye...ye mean ye've been here this whole time?" Cliodhna stands and finds a second chair nearby-- giving herself a moment to think and regain composure. She slides the chair next to Memnon's and sits facing him.
Memnon yawns and stretches his arms again and nods covering his mouth, "Yeah...I came down here about two minutes after you, went and found this chair. Been here since."
Cliodhna puts her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands and smiles, shaking her head slightly and incredulously. "Mem...did you do that kind o' thing fer every person ye've served as bodyguard fer? It sounds like a hard job."
Memnon thinks a moment, "No...not really like this. I mean I was Ahuru's bodyguard, but I was more head of his guards really. I made sure the guards were trained, stationed in the right areas, things like that..." He chuckles, "I didn't sleep outside his door if that's what you mean."
Cliodhna laughs with Memnon. "Well, ye're takin' yer job very seriously, an' I want ye ta know how much I appreciate ye, er, appreciate it, um, what ye're doin' fer me, ahem..." Cliodhna looks down and grins in embarrassment, deciding she better stop before she sticks her foot in her mouth. She clears her throat, and when she looks up her face is serious once more. "I thought that, perhaps, we could discuss how both ye an' I would like ta run things in this..." Cliodhna searches for the right word. "...this arrangement. Ye know-- so we have an' understandin' o' what our expectation are of one another." Cliodhna watches Memnon's face.
Memnon nods and folds his hands looking at Cliodhna, "Yeah let's discuss this arrangement," he says very seriously, then cracking into a winning smile. "I think I have my contract around here somewhere." He feigns looking into his pockets.
Cliodhna closes her eyes for a second, and then pushes out of her chair and starts pacing while breathing through her nose. "Ye see, that's exactly what I'm talkin' about, Memnon," she says finally, stopping right in front of him and pointing at him. "Why do ye always want ta make me look like a fool??" Her voice volume raises slightly.
Memnon stands, "Whoa whoah, Cliodhna, I'm not trying to make you look like a fool. Why do you think that?"
Cliodhna's eyes raise higher and higher as Memnon stands, keeping her frustrated gaze on his face. "I'm tryin' ta talk about somethin' serious-- somethin' I thought ye would-- fer once-- be seein' eye-ta-eye with me on! I put my pride on the line just ta make ye happy by tellin' ye I'm even willin' ta hear what yer expectations are o' me, an' that I'll try ta follow them!" Cliodhna continues to point at him while she chews him out.
"Ok ok sit down, sit down, let's discuss this." He says holding up his hands. "I was just trying to lighten the mood. Besides I like seeing you smile."
Cliodhna folds her arms, glaring down at him...until his last comment. "He likes ta see me smile??" she thinks with mixed feelings. "Well, Memnon, please DON'T try ta lighten the mood when ye can see I'm tryin' ta be serious, aye? An' what do ye mean, ye were just tryin' ta make me smile? Don't ye know me well enough by now ta know when that little trick won't work?" she reprimands.
Memnon sighs, "Ok ok you win," he says sitting back down. "Now let's discuss this...no jokes I promise."
Cliodhna squints at him as if trying to determine whether he's telling the truth or not, and then finally sits down on her chair, leaning over and placing her forearms on her knees. "All right then, let's take turns making a suggestion that the other person can comment on?" Cliodhna takes a breath. "First of all, no purposefully humiliatin' me in front o' the men, nor any aneceron nor person o' rank...really, not in front of anyone, aye?" Cliodhna looks at him earnestly.
"Alright, alright I'm sorry about that in the Swarian Cantina," Memnon shakes his head.
Cliodhna flushes a little. "Well...like I said...just...not in front o' anyone we know or anyone o' importance, aye? Embarrassin' me, I mean...not the spankin'. I mean..." Cliodhna hides her face in her hands and then peeks out at Memnon from between her fingers. "What's yer first expectation o' me then?" she asks quickly.
"Look, I just don't want to see you hurt. And I'm going to protect you. Easy enough, I'm not saying you can't go into battle or lead your men. I'm just asking you not to go and do things by yourself anymore. You're more important now. You're like a symbol to the men." Memnon says.
Cliodhna listens to him, her hands dropping back down to rest on her knees. She nods after each thing he says. "Aye, I get yer meanin', an' I agree not ta go anywhere without ye. An', likewise, I have a request fer ye, Mem." She places a hand on his forearm. "Please...if we encounter my...if we encounter Markova again," she corrects herself with lightening speed, "...do not leave my side. Markova is so powerful that he could destroy any o' us with a thought, I'm sure. The only way ta fight him is up here," she says, tapping her forehead. "Not here..." she reaches to tap Memnon's sword-hilt.
Memnon shakes his head, "No, I actually think Ahuru is right," he says taking her hand, "You can only defeat him," he places his hand over hers and puts it on his chest over his heart, "Here."
Cliodhna feels her body go limp as electricity seems to race from his hand into her corpus. No thoughts, no words...she just stares at his hand holding hers to his heart and it feels like the universe has come to a sudden halt. To Cliodhna, the two seem to pause like this for an eternity. The warmth of his large, strong hand...his chest..." Cliodhna finally blinks and looks up at Memnon, suddenly feeling very nervous. She takes her hand back from his slowly, her mouth still hanging slightly open in surprise. "Mem...?" she asks in a low voice.
Memnon sits there, his eyes almost as surprised as Cliodhna's. "Yeah?" he says his voice low.
Cliodhna's mouth tries to form words for a couple of seconds. She twists her hands in her lap nervously. "I..." she stops and thinks. Everything she wants to ask suddenly takes on a rude or insulting caste. All she wants are answers...but how to ask without ruining this moment? Unless she already has... "Mem...do ye have...anyone...waitin' back in Amenti fer ye?" Her hands twist tightly together, turning her knuckles white.
Memnon shakes his head, "No, been too busy...you? I ah mean in Ireland?"
Cliodhna shakes her head slowly, her eyes large and nervous. "An' what about in New York? Surely...ye must have droves o' women fawnin' over ye?" she asks in a faint, weak voice.
Memnon shakes his head, swallowing hard, "Too busy, the Amenti guards are all men...what's with the questions?"
"Please...just...I need to ask, please Mem, I'm sorry." Cliodhna finds her eyes locked with Memnon's. "Are ye a..." Cliodhna swallow, "...do ye have any history o' bein' violent with...with women? Ye know..." Cliodhna shuts her eyes and continues, "...with women ye've cared fer?"
Memnon comes out of his stupor and furrows his brow, "What? You mean, am I a wife beater?" He says as he stands. "What because I was a garou male, I hit women?" he says his voice getting angrier. "It's that type of thinking that really pisses me off!"
Cliodhna's eyes follow him upwards as he stands-- her face etched with worry and her jaw tightens as his words hit her. Then suddenly her entire childhood, teeenage years, and young adulthood coming rushing into her-- the teasing, the pressure to compete with them...Sean. She stands suddenly, her eyes flaring to life. "That type o' thinkin' doesn't come from outta nowhere! Ye don't have any idea what it's like ta be a female Kinfolk warrior, do ye?? Ta always be smaller an' weaker than the rest o' the caern? What do wolves do with the runts o' the litter, eh? Leave 'em ta die. Well, ye can see what happens when the runt decides it wants to live!" Cliodhna's hands are clenched by her sides and her face is flushed.
Memnon points his finger at her, "Yeah well if you didn't notice they were trying to protect you! We don't want to see our future wives and husbands and family go up smoke! Do you think we don't need your help? Well I've got news for you, we could take all the help we could get!"
Cliodhna grabs Memnon's hand and pushes it down out of her face. "No! No, Mem, ye don't understand!" Cliodhna's eyes are angry and full of tears. "I...I've only been with one man in me life-- a Garou male-- an' the experience was one o' the worst o' me life, an' it's all I have ta base me opinion o' men on! Then there was Aaron-- he was in our cohort before we got ye. He acted exactly as Sean did-- who knows how he treated his Kara when they were alone! He was always very rude an' condescendin' ta me and Brianna, so I can only imagine!" Cliodhna tries to explain angrily.
"We aren't all like that! Damn it! I'm not like that! When have I been like that to you?!" He says grabbing her hand with his other hand.
"I...I don't know..." Cliodhna's mind races wildly. "Mem, I'm so scared-- I don't mean ta be! I don't mean ta insult ye..." Cliodhna lets out a choked sob. "Here..." she cries, grasping the sides of his head. "So ye'll understand..." Cliodhna closes her eyes. "I'll show ye in a dream..." Cliodhna pulls Memnon down to the floor so they're sitting across from each other, then pushes gently against his mind as sparkles shoot out from her corpus. Soon Memnon's head tilts backwards until it rests against the wall, and his breathing becomes slow and deep. Cliodhna squeezes her eyes and the tears start rolling down her cheeks. She sends Memnon a dream...a vision of everything that happened that night at the celebration when she was 19. The dancing...the walk through the woods...the struggle, the argument, the renewed effort...then the Change, and the blood...the blood spreading across the shadowy earth and foliage and coursing down her legs...and finally the rescue. Cliodhna stops-- she doesn't want to re-live anymore of this. That is the last time she will choose to torment herself with that memory, she decides. What has she done?? Why did she choose to put Memnon through that?? Suddenly Cliodhna is filled with grief and fear and regret, and-- releasing her hold on Memnon so he's allowed to regain consciousness-- she curls up on her side on the floor, facing away from him and weeping.
Memnon shakes his head as the vision leaves him. A look of horror and anger spreads on his face. He stands up and gently picks up Cliodhna and opens the door to her bedroom. He walks in and gently lays her down. He pulls the blanket over her and sits down on the bed next to her.
"Ah Mem..." she murmurs, "I'm so fucked-- ye didn't deserve that treatment at all...I'm sorry I showed ye that, really I am-- please forgive me...oh God, Mem, please forgive me..." Cliodhna puts her face in her hands, too ashamed to look at him.
"Hey hey, it's ok I understand now. Cliodhna...Cliodhna...look at me..." he says touching her hands.
Cliodhna wipes her tears away quickly and moves her hands down to grasp his as she tries to meet his eyes. A bold gesture for her, but under the circumstances she needs the physical contact.
"There you go," he says with a gentle smile, "Not all men are like Sean. Thankfully damned few are like that. Don't go judging all men to be after what he was," he says as he stands. "Now get a bit more rest."
"Mem...please don't go...I don't want to be alone. She says sitting up. "I've started havin' horrible nightmares." She looks down for a second, and then meets his eyes again. "I think that if ye're here, ye'll be able ta keep them away." Cliodhna gives a little laugh. "My bodyguard while awake an' asleep!" Cliodhna pats the empty space next to her with a pleading look in her eyes.
Memnon looks at the empty space and nods in understanding. He walks over to that side and sits down putting his feet on the bed. With his back leaning against the headboard he crosses his hands on his stomach.
"I won't leave," he says looking down at her.
Cliodhna lays down on her side so she's facing Memnon and tries to get comfortable. As she begins drifting off into sleep, she reaches up and takes Memnon's hand, holding it tight. In her last moments of wakefulness she murmurs, "Ahuru said...that ye were the last piece o' the puzzle...the Guardian...Guardian..." Cliodhna becomes still as sleep takes her.
Memnon listens to Cliodhna's murmur and raises an eyebrow, 'The Guardian," he thinks, 'I like that.' He smiles and nods to himself as he puts a hand on her back and watches her sleep.
Wraith Side-Story 10: "A Heart's Late Message"