I never said I was perfect
But I can take you away
Walk on shells tonight
Can't do right tonight
And you can't say a word
Cause I leap down your throat
So uptight am I
I got down on myself
Working too hard
Driving myself to death
Trying to beat out the faults in my head
What a mess I've made
Sure we all make mistakes
But they see me so large that they think I'm immune to the pain
I'm praying for a miracle
But I won't hold my breath
I never said I was perfect
But can you take me home?
"Drive You Home" by Garbage
Memnon is laying next to her, his back still against the headboard, his chin lying against his chest. He squeezes her hand in his sleep, and his hand is still on her back.
Cliodhna smiles a beaming smile. "So this is heaven! I've transcended with Memnon in my sleep!" she thinks giddily. A thrill of excitement races through her when she realizes that...well, technically...they slept together! "I wonder what Brianna will think!" goes through her mind. Then her thoughts sober up a little. "He...stayed with me. After all I unintentionally accused him of, he stayed. After all I showed him...he's still here." she ponders in amazement. She looks at his hand in hers, and quickly brings it to her lips and kisses it once in gratitude and affection.
Memnon snores a bit louder and raises his hand and then plops it back down. He settles down and breathes deeply.
Cliodhna chuckles guiltily and continues to watch Memnon-- trying to think of what she wants say to him. And there's so much she wants to say! "Poor Mem must have a wicked neck-ache!" she observes in concern. "I better wake 'im." Suddenly she gets the giggles when a plan forms in her mind. Does she dare?? She puts her hand over her mouth as the giggles come again. When she's quieted herself down, she stealthily creeps up into the crook of Memnon's arm so she's leaning against his chest-- making sure his arm is around her-- and places her hand on his chest. She grins and closes her eyes. Then she makes a loud sighing-noise and pretends like she's stretching.
Memnon opens his eyes at Cliodhna's sigh and looks down, "What? Hey there...what happened?" he says as he looks down at himself, seeing he's still on the outside of the covers.
"Oh Mem...that was WONDERFUL! Ye were...incredible." Cliodhna gushes, gazing up at him and batting her eyelashes.
Memnon raises an eyebrow and looks down at her. "Uh...ahh thank you too." What the hell did we do and why can't I remember it??? he thinks. He looks around confused as he tries to remember.
Cliodhna pretends to look shocked. "Oh Mem-- how hurtful! Ye said it was the best ye'd ever had!" she dramatically puts a hand to her chest in mock-horror. Then she looks down and realizes that she's still under the covers from her waist down, and looks up at Memnon grinning.
Memnon realizes the joke and laughs, "Well that's just pillow-talk, Cliodhna..." he says nudging her in the ribs with a smile.
Cliodhna pretends to be insulted-- opening her eyes wide with her mouth hanging open dramatically making hurt-noises, and her hand on her cheek. She holds that pose for a second, and then falls apart laughing. "Ah Mem-- I got ye there fer a minute!" she continues to laugh until she has to wipe her eyes.
"Almost" he says with a chuckle then looks at her raising his eyebrow, "But I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that."
"Oh...oh really...?" Cliodhna asks in an odd, high-pitched voice, feeling herself flushing. She sits upright and smiles a little smile. "Mem...ye have a wonderful laugh. I'm sorry I've been such an ass when ye've tried ta make me laugh. Ye really have a great personality."
Memnon nods, "Well you have been under alot of pressure. I understand, hey don't worry about it."
Cliodhna lets out a breath of relief. "Thank ye fer bein' so understandin', Mem. I've been really hard on ye, an' that fact recently dawned on me." She puts her hand on his and looks at him with her eyes full of emotion. "Thank ye so much fer stayin' with me-- ye did keep the nightmares away." She pauses. "Yer back must feel bloody awful!"
Memnon stretches on the bed and lays his head on the pillow, "I always keep the bad things away," he says with a smile. "No my back is fine, when I was...well I've slept in crampier places."
Cliodhna nods enthusiastically. "Oh I know what ye mean, Mem! Whenever there was a raid, we had ta jump inta small hidey-holes we placed in various locations in the buildin' that we were runnin' things from-- ach! I was in one o' those things all night once!" Cliodhna says animatedly. "So I'm guessin' ye were Ahroun then?" she asks curiously.
"Oh no," he says leaning on one elbow, "I was a Philodox. I'm not blood-crazy..."
Cliodhna laughs. "Aah...Philodox! Interestin'!" Cliodhna puts a finger on her chin. "Yes...I can see that now! A rather large...strong...fighting Philodox..." she says, appraising Memnon's physique. "Both our mothers were Galliards-- or at least yers was before Turtle made her Kinfold. But I'm sure she never lost her gift o' story-tellin'! Oh Mem-- what languages can ye speak? Ye got ta travel all around the world!" Cliodhna suddenly seems excited to learn all about Memnon.
"I speak English, that's about it. We never really stayed anywhere long enough to really learn the language. I can say 'where's the bathroom' in French. "Ou est le bain?" he says with a chuckle. "Romantic huh?"
Cliodhna laughs. "It sounded lovely ta me!" Then she clears her throat and her face goes calm. "Is minic a thugaim chusiet go dti ait i mo chroi taim ansin, leis an radhore i do shuil, in eineacht leat mo ghra thu." She looks at Memnon and her eyes are shining with emotion.
"I've never heard Gaelic before, it's nice. What did that mean?" he says seeing her eyes change.
Her face flushes and she looks down and grins, twisting the bedsheet in her hands nervously. "Maybe if ye're lucky someday I'll tell ye..." she says glancing up at him, and then back at the twisted sheet.
"What did that mean?" he says looking at her sternly, "Come on...you can't say something in Gaelic and not tell me what it means."
Cliodhna gets a lump in her throat and feels almost overwhelmed with indecision and apprehension. Should she...? Suddenly she feels something pushing to get out of her-- that feeling one has when they want so badly to do something, but there's a fear holding them back-- but before she can stop herself, she sees herself leaning forward and her mouth opening...almost as if she's out of her body observing everything. Her voice is soft and low, and as the words tumble out, she can't stop them from coming. "There's a place in my heart that I visit so often, one look in yer eyes takes me there..." Cliodhna takes courage and meets his eyes, unblinking, and continues. "May I walk there a while with you, m-...my...my love." she finishes, looking at him with wide eyes as she realizes she's said it.
Memnon leans closer to Cliodhna, his eyes look right into hers, "That's...that's beautiful..." he says as he tries to force his eyes away but cannot.
Cliodhna watches as Memnon leans in closer and closer, and automatically leans towards him-- closing her eyes and parting her lips slightly. Their lips come together, and this time she can feel the electricity jolt through both of them at the lightest pressure of this most intimate touch.
There are a quick two knocks on the door and it opens. Friday-- looking down at a bunch of papers-- stands there, "Brianna sent me to see if you're," he looks up, "Okaaay, I came at the ah wrong time." He looks down, "I always come at the wrong time," he says quietly, "She ahhh... hurm," he says pushing up his glasses.

Cliodhna is startled and turns quickly to see Fridy standing there, and suddenly she realizes how everything must look to him-- she in bed and Memnon reclining next to her-- and then it hits her what just happened and where that might have lead next if it weren't for Friday! She scoots out of bed quickly and stands awkwardly-- straightening her clothing and grabbing her long, black leather trench and hurriedly putting it on. "Ahem, aye, um thank ye Friday, an' ye can tell Brianna that I'm just fi-- no...no, I'll tell her, meself..." Cliodhna strides nervously over to Friday and pats him on the shoulder. "I was, uh, just comin' up ta check on our, ah, progress...then..." Cliodhna watches Friday looking at her in confusion and knows he doesn't believe a word she's saying...and panic hits her when she also realizes that he might start telling everyone what he just walked in on! "So, well, um Friday-- Memnon an' I were just talkin'-- Memnon's me bodyguard, aye? An' I...haven't been feelin' well...an' he was just, um..." she glances at Memnon for help in explaining what Friday just saw.
Memnon gets up quickly and looks at Cliodhna and Friday, "Yeah I was just ah...yeah I was..." He stutters.
Friday rocks on his heels to his toes a few times, "Yeah...ahhh I'll just be..." he says motioning to the door.
Memnon nods, "Yeah that'd be good."
Cliodhna offers a nervous smile to Friday and opens the door wider for him. She leans in and says in a low voice, "Please...don't go spreadin' what ye've seen around, aye? And uh, I'll speak with Brianna, meself, OK?" She gives him a pleading look.
Friday pushes his glasses back, "Oh no I didn't see anything...I uh a saw you two talking with each other, yeah!"
"Good idea..." Memnon says looking at Friday.
Cliodhna puts her hand on Friday's shoulder and helps turn him around towards the door, and gives him a gentle push out. She leans towards him and whispers, "Thank ye, Friday! Ye're a good man!" offers him a relieved smile, and shuts the door behind him.
Standing with her back to the door, Cliodhna faces Memnon and lets out a big breath. "Ah boy..." she says to herself, closing her eyes. Then she walks quickly over to the mirror in her room and peeks into it. Her hair being messy from sleeping, she uncoils the long, dark braid, and smoothes the hair back from her face tight. "It appears that I need ta get on deck quickly...get back ta my duties...let Brianna know that I'm fine..." she says to Memnon, keeping her eyes on her reflection in the mirror as the works on her hair. Then she re-coils the braid back into a bun at the nape of her neck. "That's better," she murmurs, and turns nervously to face Memnon-- not sure what to say next.
"It's ok," he says walking over to the door, "Go see Brianna...we can continue this 'discussion' tonight." he says giving her a smile and he shuts the door behind him.
Cliodhna watches Memnon leave a daze-- 'continue this 'discussion' tonight?'-- and then comes to at the sound of the door shutting. "Memnon wait--" she says walking towards the door and opening it, but when she peers down the corridor she doesn't see him. "Where did he Flicker ta?" she wonders in frustration as she shuts her door and walks out into the corridor, putting her fists on her hips. "I hope he's not mad that I asked Friday not ta be sayin' anythin' ta anyone about us..." she ponders worriedly, biting the end of her finger. She goes over the last thing Memnon said, analyzing it for any unspoken message he might have been trying to convey-- as only a woman can! "'Continue this 'discussion' tonight..." she repeats in her mind, and then her cheeks get pink and she grins. Looking down the corridor again and seeing no one there, she gives a high-pitched war-whoop-cheer and does a little dance. Once that's out of her system, she smoothes her hair again and straightens her trench, and then climbs up the steps to the main deck.
Memnon walks up onto the deck and sees Friday over by the mast sitting and talking with Shep. He waves and walks over sitting down to help the two unravel some rope. Friday looks up and see Cliodhna emerge and smiles at Memnon conspiratorily. Memnon winks back at Friday and the two chuckle. Shep looks from Friday to Memnon then over at what they are looking at. He smiles as he see Cliodhna.
Cliodhna comes up on deck looking all serious business, but when she catches sight of Memnon sitting with the men, she starts grinning uncontrollably and flushing. She spots Brianna at the other end of the deck enjoying the air and sea, but Cliodhna can't stop grinning, so she turns-- biting her lip and struggling to make her face the mask of dignity she thinks it should be-- and see Hans at the helm. Clearing her throat, she walks over to him at a leisurely pace-- noticing how beautiful the weather and Tempest are this very lovely morning. "Hans! How goes the voyage?" she says in a very cheerful yet commanding voice. Then she leans in and says quietly, "how long have we been sailing since we left New York??"
Hans turns from the helm and nods at Cliodhna, "I estimate 28 hours or so...we should be in wire within a few days." He says looking at his watch.
Cliodhna looks at the boat impatiently and feels a little nervous. "A few days...lots o' time fer Mem ta find me alone so he can 'continue our conversation,' as he put it..." Cliodhna ponders. "Very good-- thank ye Hans!" she says clapping him on the shoulder, and turns to face the back of the boat where Brianna is still standing. She takes a deep breath and starts walking over to Brianna with her hands clasped behind her back. As she passes by Memnon and the men, however, she begins grinning and flushes again, and nearly trips over the end of a large rope they're working on. She mumbles something about men always leaving things laying around while trying to maintain her composure, and then finally approaches Brianna.
"Brianna-- hello!" she greets her energetically. "Look, Bri, I'm sorry about worryin' ye! I've just spoken with Hans who says I've been sleepin' fer nearly 28 hours!! I guess I really needed the sleep, aye?" she says a little too quickly, sounding like she's hiding something or maybe a touch nervous.
Brianna smiles, watching Cliodhna closely. "No apology needed, we all needed some sleep, I think. Are you sure you've rested enough? You seem a bit on edge."
Cliodhna laughs a bit too loudly and then clears her throat. "Oh yes...yes, I've quite enough sleep..." Cliodhna fidgets, looking across the water, and then suddenly she breaks out in a grin and grabs Brianna's arm-- pulling her further away from the men working on the roping. "Oh Bri-- where to start!" Cliodhna paces, running her hand over her head as her mind races. Then she stops in front of Brianna again and grips Brianna's forearms in excitement. "Mem an' I have just spent the most wonderful time together! Did ye know that when I fell inta bed after we first left New York that he came down an' sat outside me door the whole time I was sleepin'?? I'm guessin' that woulda been a good 20 hours straight at least, if not more!" Cliodhna's eyes are sparkling and her face beeming-- a rare sight, indeed! "An' when I came out, we got ta talkin', an' at one point we were discussin' how to fight Markova, an' he held me hand against his chest...over his heart...an' there was this moment in time where everthin' stopped an' it was just me and him and I couldna breath, Bri!" Cliodhna realizes she's really squeezing Brianna's arms tightly now, and relaxes her grip a bit.
Brianna's face breaks out into a smile and she hugs Cliodhna. "That's wonderful!! I'm so happy for you! What a thoughtful thing for him to do.." She looks at Cliodhna's excited face and feels a rush of happiness that this woman has found such joy in the midst of these terrible times. Both of us have found a rock to cling to in the middle of the storm... she glances over at Ahuru and smiles again before returning her gaze to Cliodhna. "What happened! You have to tell me everything!!" She draws Cliodhna a bit farther from the men so as not to be overheard.
Cliodhna grins again-- she seems barely able to contain herself. "Well after that I got really scared-- as ye can imagine-- because I felt that moment come where a decision has to be made whether to go forward with things or not. I asked him all the important questions that I had ta know." Cliodhna takes a deep breath. "No, he has no woman, an' no, he hasn't had to keep the women off o' him..." Cliodhna bursts out laughing, "although I still can't see why not!" Cliodhna raises her eyebrow at Brianna, "I think we best be grateful that we DON'T have ta fight the women off Memnon an' yer Ahuru an' leave it at that!" She grins, and then her grin falters a little.
"Well, I went an' asked him the big question-- whether or not he had a history o' violence against women-- an' I really hurt an' offended him with that ta the point where I was afraid he was gonna leave or hate me, so I did the only thing I thought I could, an' showed him what happened ta me in a dream. Then he calmed down an' understood my fears...I was pitiful, Bri. I was curled on the floor weepin', and the next thing I knew he was carryin' me ta bed! No, no-- not like that!" Cliodhna laughs when she sees Brianna's face. "He wanted me ta get more sleep, so I begged him ta stay with me, an' he came an' reclined next ta me on the bed an' watched over me while I slept again! The whole time!" Cliodhna leans in and says in a lower voice, "An' I held his hand the whole time, an' he put his hand on my back protectively..." Cliodhna lets out a long sigh and stares into the sky with a goofy grin on her face as she relives the moment.
Brianna seems to get teary-eyed towards the end of Cliodhna's story. "Oh...." she says. "Cliodhna that was beautiful! You're going to make my cry!! What a magical night! He was so gentle and protective! Absolutely what you need! You are perfect for each other, I just know it!"
Brianna is on the verge of reading Cliodhna to see how she and Memnon turn out, but an unexpected thrill of fear at what she might find out stops her. Experience at not letting her feelings surface keeps her expression neutral, then another smile graces her face.
"Have you told him what you feel? Has he said anything to you?" She asks, determined to hope for the best and putting her fears behind her. "I can see him watching us.. you!! From where he's working.." Brianna giggles, looking over Cliodhna's shoulder. "He's going to tie his own fingers in those knots if he doesn't start concentrating on what he's doing!! You've certainly cast quite a spell on him.."
Cliodhna giggles and grabs Brianna's hands. "Is he really??" She so badly wants to peek over her shoulder, but then Memnon would know that they were talking about him, so she keeps grinning and tries to stand straighter. "Ah Bri! Ye really think we're perfect fer one another?? Oh I hope we are!" Then she remembers something and puts her hand over her mouth laughing. "Oh ye should have seen how I woke the poor man!" Cliodhna laughs again. "He was sleepin' sittin' up when I woke, so I..." (more laughter) "...slid up next ta him an' put his arm around me, an' then yawned really loud, an' when he was conscious I started tellin' him how wonderful last night had been, an' how incredible he had performed an' such..." (giggling now) "...'an poor Mem looked so confused! I pretended ta take offense when he didn't remember what I was talkin' about, an' then I looked down an' realized that I was still under the covers while he was on top, an' we both started laughin'! Oh I got him back fer all the things he's pulled on me, I did!" Cliodhna leans in again. "An' ye know what he said after we stopped laughin'? That he knew I was jokin' 'cause he woulda remembered somethin' like that!" Cliodhna blushes and then quickly speaks again.
"So I changed the subject by askin' him about himself-- men seem ta love that-- an' I asked him ta show me what languages he could speak. Bri-- I don't care WHAT he was sayin' in French, comin' outta his mouth anythin' would sound beautiful!" Cliodhna's eyes get a faraway-look to them as she continues. "So I told him what was in me heart-- but in Gaelic-- an' I thought I'd be able ta get away with it, but he kept pressurin' me inta tellin' him what I'd said...an' so I did, Bri!! I still can't believe I did! I didn't come right out an' say 'I love ye' because I'm still too afraid ta say that-- I know ye know how I feel about that!" Cliodhna smiles, glancing over at Ahuru. "Oh Bri-- " (giggles) Ahuru's watchin' YE intently, an' not even blinkin'! Ach-- that's an eerie thing, that is! Do ye think he can hear what we're sayin'??" Cliodhna quickly pauses her story self-consciously.
Brianna turns and looks at Ahuru again, smiling and waving when she sees his eyes are on her. "That gaze is not unnerving in the slightest, Cliodhna. When I think that I might not ever have seen him again.." she shudders. "Every moment I lay eyes on him I thank the gods that we were given a second chance." She suddenly realizes she's going off-topic again. "Oh! But I don't think Ahuru would eavesdrop on us.. I mean, he probably could if he wanted to, but I don't think he would invade our privacy for a trivial matter like listening to what we're talking about. Then again.. his curiosity could be getting the better of him..." she turns and glances again at Ahuru, smiling and wondering just what has caught his attention so completely.
"Ah Bri-- that was beautiful." Cliodhna says quietly, and then a shudder runs through her. "Oh no...what if somethin' happens ta me or Mem...if Markova..." Cliodhna stares at the floor of the ship, suddenly feeling chilled despite the nice day and her jacket. "Markova can never know about how I feel fer Mem," she states, looking intensely into Brianna's eyes. "An' my feelin's bein' so close ta the surface about Mem, Markova would be able ta pull them from me in an instant if I wasn't on guard...ach, or other people who knew..." Cliodhna runs her hands down her face, looking like she's thinking hard. Then she looks at Brianna again. "When Friday came by ta check on me, he walked in on Mem an' I kissin'..." she says in a quiet voice. "I told Friday not ta tell anyone what he saw-- do ye think he can be trusted? Or if not, if ye or Ahuru could...ye know...compel him ta keep it secret some way??" Cliodhna keeps her voice steady, but Brianna can sense panic underneath.
"Honestly Cliodhna, I don't think it will matter if Markova finds out about your feelings for Memnon," Brianna responds. "He threatens everyone and eveything with his actions -- he wouldn't stop to single out one person in particular, he does not fear any of us, except for perhaps Ahuru.." she pauses thoughtfully. "But if it will make you feel better, we can ask Friday not to say anything again. He is trustworthy, I will vouch for him."
Cliodhna actually feels incredibly better at Brianna's words, and realizes that Brianna is right. Markova knows that Cliodhna cares for every member of her cohort, so he could threaten her with destroying any one of them anytime he wanted to. Cliodhna exhales in relief and looks at Brianna gratefully. "Brianna...ye're exactly right. Markova knows that I care fer every one o' ye, already..." but then a quick blip of fear reminds Cliodhna that there's only one member of the cohort who she's in LOVE with, and still decides that caution would be wise. "I don't think we need ta keep it secret from the others-- Mem an' I just shouldn't be overt about it where Markova's spies could be near, that's all." Cliodhna pauses, nodding to herself, and then looks back up at Brianna. "Thank ye fer calmin' me down, Bri!" she says with eyes full of gratitude.
Then Cliodhna quickly glances over her shoulder at Memnon and then back at Brianna. "I still have a favor I'd like ta ask, if I could. It probably wouldn't make much sense ta anyone-- it's a really tough choice fer me, as well-- but...I'm afraid that things are rushing a little faster than I can handle...just yet, anyhow. The last thing Mem told me was that we would finish 'our discussion tonight,' an' if he means what I THINK he means..." Cliodhna gives a meaningful look at Brianna and sighs. "What I'm askin' is if ye an' Ahuru would make sure to keep Memnon an' I, both, busy with some chore or another so that when one is sleepin', the other is workin'? Just until we dock. I want ta see how Mem treats me when he can't be alone with me for a few days, ye know? I just need ta slow things down-- I can't even believe I'm sayin' this! I'm crazy!" Cliodhna says shaking her head and laughing. "He an' I can still talk and walk around the deck together, but nothing belowdecks," she says looking seriously at Brianna. "What do ye think? Am I a complete idiot, then?"
"Of course not, Cliodhna! You shouldn't rush into anything you're not ready for. And you're smart to ask for help if you're not sure you can handle it on your own," Brianna gets a mischevious sparkle to her eyes. "Ahuru and I will figure something out.." she chuckles. "Soon enough those men will learn to fear our little 'talks' if we keep plotting like this!!" She then breaks out in laughter. "Cliodhna, I love this. Promise me that we won't ever get too busy for this! I haven't had a girl friend before.." she adds a bit shyly.
Cliodhna clasps Brianna's shoulders and laughs with her. "I know what ye mean, Bri-- I've never had a girl-friend before, meself. Ye are so different ta talk to than anyone I've ever met! Ye really understand where I'm comin' from, despite our completely different upbringin's! My mother is the only other woman I've really sat down with an' had some heart-ta-hearts, but she's so different than me in so many ways-- I don't think she ever really understood me they way ye seem ta..." Cliodhna suddenly feels very guilty. "Not ta speak badly o' my mother, mind ye." Cliodhna turns and leans against the railing. "She made men sound so complicatin'! 'Don't sleep with the same man twice in a row...don't sleep with a man the first time he asks ye ta sleep with him...don't let yerself fall in love...'" Cliodhna turns her head to Brianna. "See what I mean? An' all along she was probably just bitter about not bein' able ta be with Markova, so she expressed that by turnin' her only child off ta the idea o' gettin' inta any relationships...not ta mention it seems she broke all her own rules!" Cliodhna sighs. "So now here I am nervous ta be alone with Mem fer fear that I'll break some datin' rule an' mess things up!"
Cliodhna gives Brianna a smile. "Thank ye so much fer helpin' me out, Bri! If nothin' else, by the time we dock Mem an' I will be desperate ta be alone with one another!" Cliodhna grins. "An' that bein' the case, I'll know I've overcome me fears AN' he's still interested!" Cliodhna folds her arms and crosses her ankles while leaning against the boat-railing. She leans over conspiratorily while keeping her eye on Memnon. "Sooo...what shall we have him do after he's done with those ropes? Preferably somethin'...that will involve some heavy liftin'!" she says, tapping her finger against her bottom lip while enjoying the view, and then looking sideways at Brianna and giving her a wink.
Game 11: "Race Across the Tempest"
