"In my life, there are so many questions and answers that somehow seems wrong. In my life,
there are times when I catch in the silence the sigh of a faraway song, and it sing of a world
that I longed to see, out of reach, just a whisper away, waiting for me.......
~ lyrics from Les Miserables
It's a girl! I was born on a late evening, the time when we can see the sunset glow.
According to my dad, I came out fast and a week earlier than they had expected. My
birthdate is full of number '6' which I guess is my lucky number. It's 16th June 1976,
middle of the year and month, unfortunately not middle of the century! I share the
same Chinese zodiac sign as my dad. He's a gold dragon, while I'm a fire dragon.
Obviously we have quite similar taste, behaviour, personality and of course a fiery
temper if provoke! I'm a gemini, my friends told me that I have split
personality. I can be as quiet a mouse or a talkative as a chatterbox. I
can be as optimistic and as perssimistic at times. I also can be as
confused and as aleart at times. All to the two extreams but seldom
balance. I guess this is the characteristics of a gemini.
My earliest memory of my life is actually my prenatal stage! People get
shock at this, even my dad said I'm having a dream. Not really, I got this
flash of memory when my dad shows me a picture book of how a baby
looks like when they were inside the mommy's tummy. I was about 5 then.
I told my dad "I remember this, it was very dark, watery inside." He looked
at me and said "You're dreaming dear, how can you remember this."
Well, I think it's just a flash back memory of my passed before I come to this
world. Whatever it is, I can't recalled much, just a short blurry glimpes of image of myself
inside. I was in total darkness, all I could hear was water as if I'm inside a swimming pool,
my eyes can't focus well enough to see, I could only look at my weak little limbs and
palms just an inch away from my eyes. My skin were reddish, transparent with some thin
blood vessels inside. The funny thing is one moment I was there, then the other moment
I wasn't, gone to sleep I guess. By the time I know I was there, I knew my head had turned
downwards. Upside down I guess, these are the 2 blurry glimpes of images I have in my
memory.
I was the second and also a last child after my brother who's 4 years older than me.
Being the youngest child, has it's advantages and disadvantages which plays an
important role in my childhood. I have a simple childhood like most people, school and
studies takes an importan role in life. All I can remember is that "I must do my homework
everyday". That's my first worries ever started in my life! Because most of the teachers
in my school are firece. I started kindergarden when I was about 5, at Kindergarden Desa
Jaya, which was only a stone throw away from my house. My dad sends me to the
kindergarden every morning and later my mom will be the one who fetches me home. I
still remembers that I need to greet my teacher "Good morning Ms. so and so" every
morning. This was taught by my class teacher and it is a must to do that! I enjoy singing
sessions everyday. We seems to be singing everyday in kindergaden, sometimes the
teacher asked each of us to come out and sing your favourite song, with actions. My
favourite song was 'Oh Susanna' at that age, so my hope is to sing this song infront
of the class. I know this song by heart even before my class teacher teach it to the class.
My attempt to sing this song was never a success because I was a very shy and quiet
child, I always end up singing 'Are You Sleeping' instead, the shortest song, so that
I can run away as soon as possible! I never get to pluck up my courage to sing this song
until the day I graduated! When I thought about this, I laughed at myself for being such a
silly child.
At home I was a total opposite, I belted the song out so loudly everyday, with the walkman
earphone on my ears. Those days in the early 80's walkman with earphones were very
popular and seems like a trend that everyone carries one. At that age, my walkman
seems to be my toy, my entertainment gadget. My mom bought it for me eversince I was
4 years old, together with several cassettes of childrens' songs in English and Mandarin.
. I listen to it everyday, So it isn't a surprise if I know all the songs by heart by the time I
enter kindergaden. I remember I spend hours on the bed looking through the front pages
of the cassettes admiring the pictures of those children singers who are much older than
me. I even told my mom "I wanna sing like all these girls one day. I wanna have hair as
long as them and wear clothes like these big girls." It's all silly little girl's dream.
|
