time: 1:02am
listening to: "only the girl" bif naked
so ya.......i woke up today at 4.....had a shower and went back to sleep......then i woke up fer like and hr and went back to sleep again.....the first 2 times i woke up i was still buzzed...ya.....today was a total waste.......but i didnt have any classes so thats ok......i have all weekend to be sober and do work (oh my)......
on a totally unrelated tangent i heard yesterday from i guy that i know that marta and kirk r no longer......she doesnt want to see him........hmmm.....maybe hell come back to me.....i doubt it but i can hope.....
oh my......i just heard snoring.......but mir didnt and when i shut off the music i didnt hear it either......i think im loosing it.....nah...i never had it......oh well
anyways back to my unrelated tangent.....so ya....i want to give it another try with kirk......but i dont want him to go into it thinking that i make him miserable and that its not gonna work....i want a fair chance.....and i dont want it to be like it was b4.....i just want to be with him.......oh.....i suck....
time: 10:27am
listening to: "time bomb" rancid
yes i realize that its actually the 27th but i havent been to sleep yet so this gets added onto this entry......i spent the last like 3 hrs reading a journal......wow.....thats all i can say.....this girl is amazing.....i dont know her and im a bloody sycho but i know that already so i dont care.....she sez things i can totally relate to and other things that have happened to her man i dont ever wanna xperience....
and im not a journal person......i dont read other ppls journals on a regular basis but i cant wait till she updates.....im a freak.....but oh well im cool with that......another good waste of my time.......
im really hungry.....all ive had to eat was popcorn and and english muffin......i want to go to the caf but mirs asleep......i swear my stomach is gonna have a hole in it from all the acid......sheesh......ooo.......food......
and i still havent heard from kirk.....emailed him the other day......no reply yet......wish i didnt want him back......er wish he wanted me back.....one er the other.....wish hed give me another chance......and just trust me goddammit....i miss him i miss him i miss him.......but i dont want to let it go either....i mean at least this is emotion of some kind......i used to be so dead.....nothing really mattered....at least now i feel.....even if its only pain.......
and can u believe it?? my freaking neighbour jawad is already awake and has ppl hanging out in his room!! and theyve been talking fer the last half hr......i can hear them thru the wall...it 10:30am on a BLOODY saturday!!!!!! why r u not sleeping......i mean i havent been to bed yet.....thats ok....but why on earth r u awake this early?? i dont get it...i cant do it.....it doesnt matter what time i go to bed.....i dont get up b4 noon unless im sick er anxious er have a really good reason.....sometimes.....well who am i kidding....most times the fact that i have class doesnt even motivate me to get my ass outta bed.....
i wish mir would hurry up and wake up.......her and jeremy r going to the mall er something fun like that today....wooo.....at like noon......i want food now.....grr....me=one hungry bastard....mmmmm.......home fries....ahhhhhh! must stop torturing myself......must stop being a retard....my head feels funny.....i dont know if i can walk to the caf.....hmmmmm......i hope i can...WAKE UP MIR!!!
ooooo!! an update on the journal page....i am in heaven.....heres the addy if anyone cares skewed perspective