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time: 8:20
listening to: "vampire" bif naked
today i am really depressed.....not fer any reason in particular i just feel really shitty....i called kirk.....but hes tired and was going to get tea....so im not xpecting to hear from him tonite.......i just want to be in his arms rite now.....i miss him......damn him.....oh well what can i do really....its my own damn fault anyway....
i dont even want to be awake rite now......i want to go back to sleep......i didnt get up till like 5:30 er so today cuz i didnt go to bed til like 9 er 9:30.....me and matt sat up all nite and laffed our asses off.....i cant really remember at what in particular was so funny but man i laffed and laffed......oh well......sleep deprivation has a tendency to do that to me...i felt like i was high......it was fun......and know i hate my life......such huge mood swings.....i fucking hate mood swings.....i went to bed feeling so good and now i feel like fucking shit.....and kirk doesnt want to talk.......thats prolly what it is......well....ya.....im a sycho......and im done fer now
time: 2:49am
listening to: "fleetwood" the weekend...and renee and some guy chatting on yahoo
so ya.....it turns out im going home tomorrow......yeah fer me......and now im in an even worse mood.......
so i called kirk today.....and well he was playing alice so he was gonna "call me back later" and now its 2:52am and i know hes not gonna call me......grrr.....it makes me so mad.....hes all "well hang out when u come home and see what happens" and now hes not calling me back.......whatever........i emailed him and if he wants to do something he can call me.....cuz im not going to call him.......im not gonna put myself out there fer him to abuse......fuck that.......but im tempted to call him rite now.......just to be a bitch.....cuz hes prolly sleeping.....but i wont.....im not that childish.......despite what he thinx......grrr.....whatever..........