The LilysLog
written by Mike Glasgow


Lilys tour log by Mike Glasgow as written to girlfriend... Friday Nov.1, 1991 11:10AM

Left Alex's late.....1st stop Dairy Queen. (insert bit of chocolate goo product here)
11:15 just saw the passing of the oh-so-catchy Treemendous Maryland sign I know you are familiar with.... During the Dairy Queen experience...I bought and consumed 1 (one) order of onion rings and 1 (one) chocolate shake (some of which is included above)

*Interesting and unusual note #1:

This Dairy Queen has phones at every booth. I, of course, tried one immediately but my local call was laughed at by the phone Gods. So I tried a calling card # and LO! The call went through but you ...were at work :( Such is life on duh road...lonely.

*Interesting and unusual shit item #2! OOOhh!

This Dairy Queen was attatched to Steve's Road Service Station. Steve also has a very nice boutique (attatched) carrying manynifty things such as the entire, seriously it was scary, the entire line of Jack Daniel's fasion wear. I bought them out and am now the height of whiskey fasion! Hah!! Steve's card inserted here>

sign by cash register read: Free shower with min. 8 gallon purchased. Alex looks funny naked! Our van: Shoegaze99 note: van picture should be placed here

Ugly painted jobby. Eeeuh bouy.

sketch provided by Chevy motor works. Thanks boys!

Legend:

= tons of stuff

= Mike your humble partner in punk crime, and Alex....the one who looked funny naked, and Vicki.

= Pilot & co pilot Archie & Wally respectively.

News flash 11:52 AM
Alex & Vicki have finally fallen asleep. This is good for them as they have had none but bad for me cause well ya know they look so comfortable and all I just can't bring myself to remove their feet from my eye sockets!! Talk about SPRAWL!

Side note: I hate these fucking pens. These fucking what are they...uniball micros by Faber Castell whatever. They are from hell. BAH! Felt tip right on! But this is all I've got....

Side thought to the news flash...I wonder if you were right and Alex plowed the shit out of...oh! I mean made love to-heh!-Vicki last night...Anyway....

Getting back to Alex & Vicki in SLUMBERLAND....I look over just now and notice a tremendous amount of drool squirting, well rather falling out of Alex's sleepy lips! Oh! Social faux pas! Should I try to dry his lips before he awakes and embarasses both himself and the princess Vicki? Or should I let nature take it's course and teach her harsh lessons in uh, ....GRAVITY? Yes I'll leave it alone, besides I'd kiss Alex but I wouldn't touch his drool....

OK looking up I search for a landmark to describe to you...these are probably many of the same billboards you and I passed just days ago, sigh! Truck in front of us just dropped hunk of sulphur product glowing green and looking scary. It hit the ground and poofed in to dust, blowing back into Wally's face. He just inhaled deeply and smiled hmmm...... Satan Pen ARGGGH!&@#*&%..............................

Here he comes here comes Speed Racer he's a demon on wheels....he's a demon and he's gonna be chasin' after someone.....

Sat. Nov. 2 4:43PM

Leaving Conneticut but wait....lots happened in between. Let's go back to about an hour after sleepy Alex & Vicki (who I think did the matress mambo last night). The van breaks down at about oh....3:30 on the way to CT, ...funny smell, weird noise, smoke, then just van death. So under the hood we see there be no oil and very little coolant. Simple solution! Fill er up!!! So Arch and I walk oh 2 MILES to an evil Exxon, paid $10.00 that's ten fuckin buckins for a gallon of coolant. He was nice enough to throw in a gallon of warm water for free. What a fucking sleaze. We got oil too. Hoofed it back, put it in and....nothing. sniff. oh shit. we stranded. we gwine die. call my girlfriend. Tell her to feed the Poosh cause...I'm not coming back. So we sit for oh....4 HOURS and 2 cops and 2 nice townsfolk later we got to the local Thrifty rental palace. Arch & Kirt hitched a ride a ride with aforementioned townsfolk, and later we got 2 cars as replacement for our comfy van. So....you know of course what this means? Yes it means that I must drive BAHH!!!

Anyway we load all the shit from our comfy van into the two Topaz's. Nice thing to do on the side of the highway at night. After a pee in the bushes we were off. Nearly 2 hours of very drowsy, like when Mike & Nina (the keepers of the faith) went to New York, driving followed. No food all day and we missed the scheduled interview before the show, played, went to a guy in Monsterland's house and slept like a crucified deity till 1 or so. I dreamed about handfulls of espresso and it failed to wake me at all!! That brings us to almost now. Oh yeah a girl from Conneticut wants to follow us on our exciting tour. She said to me "Your aura was just screaming at me!" Wow can you believe that one? I fucked her 34 times with Archie's penis! No I didn't......She asked Wally later..."where's your drummer?" 'cause I kind of ditched her and he said "Probably on the phone to his wife!"! Yes! Anyway she wanted my address so she could send me a Tom Robbins book. I panicked and gave her Alex's instead before I realised it would be more yours & Wally's than Alex's. sorry. Kinda funny though.

Just ate at Pagoda Kitchen in Brookfield, CT 06804 203-775-6380 for carry out orders. This pen is theirs. Lots better than the one from hell. This one's just from CT! Ate bean curd and straw mushrooms (halloween fungus leftover maybe?) & fried rice. Yum. Stomach hurts though cause of the 4 vitamin C and 2 cups of coffee. Alex and Vicki are getting on quite well. It's very nice. She is great and he needs a nice girlfriend. Maybe it will keep him from wanting sex from me so much, jeeez!

On to New York now...hippity hoppity....Can't wait to PARK! ewww. Arch is drivin' though so I don't worry mon.
Passed Antique Boutique at 6:30!
Broadway & Bleecker=Pool Bar

Pool Bar show went great...Oh it's now 9:43 Monday morning and we are almost back in Bernardsville where the whole fucking....well where the van broke down. Playing with the Swirlies in Philly was great. They rule hard and are very nice people. The first band was good too. Guido is Dead. They sound like Janes Addiction however. What can I say about Nation Of Ulysses? They went through our stuff. Rapists! Goats! BILLIES! (Crass snif!) Fuck them and their scummy "I am guido the pop star" image! Fuck their organized crime wannnnabe attitude too! Guido is DEAD! Groupie girl-origin unknown but first spotted back in CT- showed up. But then I've already told you on the phone and ruined this section of the NINALOG.............

Archie gave a bum a fin for wrong directions on the way to Providence. Poor Arch. Probably panic. The Swirlies played with us in Providence too. They were great...we blew. The blisters on my hands were real bad at that point and it hurt like fuck to drum. Boy this is just a sob story through and through ain't it? OK

OPTIMISTIC AND GENERALLY MORE POSITIVE POINTS:
1. I didn't lose my floor tom legs after all. Swirlie drummer had them all the time. Silly boy.

2. Saw great Small Factory show at the Pool Bar and we followed them with an equally cool show. We were Gods (amply put by the fair Wendy. I love that girl).

3. Got a good start on beard sos I can just show up lookin' cool without that awkward "I'm tryin' to grow a beard" look.

4. Got to pay $3.20 for a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Where else could I have done that? NY!

News Flash.....
Just talked to nice lady who set us up in the 2 cars and she has a van for us for the trip back to MD. She said that Thrifty shouldn't charge us for shit-but one day. I hope. Well see. end transmission

*note-09/26/97-I meant no harm to anyone in donating this to this Lily page. It was meant to be funny. I hope Alex and Vicki and Wally and Archie and Wendy and "groupie unknown", oh and Nation of Ulysses will all NOT CARE. Seeing as I never talk to any of them any more this note may be moot. But if any of them are reading this I say to you.....Hi. and I hope you are all well.--MPG

A very special thanks to Mike Glasgow for donating this to the page. It is obviously a personal document that was never intended to be presented for public consuption, and for his kindness, we Lilys fans thanks him.

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