Chapter Six
I�ve had a lot of Internet relationships, if I can remember correctly my friend Rena and I calculated that I had almost 50 if not more in one year. I dated half a chat room if not more then that back in the day.
People think that internet relationships are just a game, but here�s what I�ve learned they�re not, a lot of people take them very seriously. You can fall in love with someone online and want to be with them so badly and people do get together online all the time and then get together in person after. If you play with someone�s mind online , then your really playing with their mind in real life because if you are with that person , they can really love you even if you don�t want them to. After GO.com�, I went to Gay.com�,
There for awhile I was an untouchable, for those who have no idea what that is, I was a person a lot of people wanted but could never have, I would flirt but never date anyone. I was simply untouchable. Then I found someone and became taken and I did some stupid shit of course, I was talking to a woman named Amanda and we hit it off and I cheated so to speak on the girl I was with, I ended up breaking up with the first girl and dating Amanda, we did new years together, we were together for awhile, but all things come to an end and it did. We still talk of course, that I think is the best part about it, I still talk to her. I could sit here and name woman after woman to you that I have dated and what I did to them or what they did to me but it is not relevant, I know I made a lot of bad choices and in those choices I made a lot of mistakes and hurt a lot of wonderful people. I regret hurting them, I never meant to but I did and that I can never change. Some of them chose not to speak to me and that was ok. I knew the damage I caused and had to face it.
But I have also been played. I was with a girl Judy who played mind games with me large, I don�t know if she thought it was funny or what but for I�d say about 7 months she played with my head and made me believe a lot of shit that was not the truth. She caused me a lot of damage and I thought since she caused me damage I will cause others damage and I did, I hurt everyone after that for the longest time, I did what she did to me and I didn�t care but now I see that being the way I was , was being selfish because other people did love me and all I did was hurt them. If I could get them all in a room I would apologize to every single one of them, because it was wrong of me to do that, it was immature. There was a girl by the chat name Ibtigger who truly and deeply loved me and I stomped on her heart, I think besides Jennifer I owe her the biggest apology, along with Michelle as well. As you can see I have done a lot of stupid shit and a lot of people make the same one everyday not realizing that others have feelings too. The worst thing to do is sit there and laugh about it like it�s nothing. The fact is you can find wonderful people online , you may fall in love with one of them, you can never say for sure what will come of it but if you take it seriously like most do please, please be careful of what you do and try not to make the same mistakes that I have.