These are all my favorite quotes. Some of them are lines that my friends and I know from movies and always make us laugh like hyenas, and others are inside jokes that people just wouldn't get. And then there are my Shakespeare quotes which I just love. Hope you enjoy :)
..:: Jokes Jokes Jokes ::..
*12th of April we decided it was time. I was feelin good, you were looking fine. On the basement floor with TRL behind, you were lovin me with Carson Daly on your mind. You're my baby girl, you know that you are. You're my hunny bunch my sweet lucky star. So put your hand in mine I will slap your sweet behind. You're my baby girl... E is for Erin, making out with you. R is for wrong that's what you like to do. I is for eyes that are smilin back at me. N is for nasty which we do constantly... Hot dogs and hamburger, unzip me please. Erin likes ketchup but go easy on the cheese. I like to look down on her naked from above, shes just like Gweneth Paltrow I'm like Shakespeare in love*~*She was totally edging on my sweets, so I dinged her with a bounce bounce in the numbers lab!*~*Its mine, I BOUGHT IT!*~*Jump up my ass! Been there, done that...*~*When you play with a lion do not put your hand in its mouth! (hey we did that in England lol)*~*Yeah YOU'RE COOL!! I wish I could be like you!*~*This is an outrage!*~*All I wanted was some butter, on my bread!*~*Kyle puts butter on his buns! Well, it starts at that, and then...*~*Well it hasn't happened yet, I can't tell you anything if it hasn't happened yet... the plane? haHA... it was kinda hot, I thought.*~*I made sweet love to a man in the bathroom... for 10 dollars!*~*I am Napoleon! I am Irish! (to be said with a horrible mix of French, Irish, and Japanese accents. Also you must add at some point that you are 1/16... no, maybe 1/32 Japanese)*~*You can grab my big butt if I can grab your big _____*~*You're dirty, but I understand if you have to strip on the bus or wash your underwear in the sink!*~*Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!*~*Hey wait a minute, you should be kissing my fucking hairy beanbag!*~*Step into my office! -Why? - Cause you're fuckin fired!*~*His friends would say, "Stop whining." They've had enough of that. His friends would say, "Stop pining, theres other girls to look at." They tried to set him up with Tiffany and Indigo, but there's something about Mary that they don't know... Well his friends say, "Look, lifes no fairy tale" That he should have some fun, hes suffered long enough. Well they may know about domestic and imported ale - but they don't know a thing about love. Well his friends would say hes dreaming, and living in the past. But they've never fallen in love, so his friends need not be asked. His friends would say, "Be reasonable." His friends would say, "Let go." But there's something about Mary that they don't know...*~*And I am not surprised, I am not surprised at ALL! Because Puffy used to bark his balls off everytime he saw him, and you know Puffy... he only barks at the bad people*~*Your car seats are itchin me man, are these made out of cactus?... ok but I'm only waiting 7 minutes, TOTAL*~*See hun I told you he was gay*~*7 little chipmunks twirlin on a branch, eatin lotsa sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old childrens tale from the sea... its like you're dreaming of Gorgonzola when it's clearly Brie time baby!*~*Ghet-to!!*~*Dude! I can put my 2 favorite words together! Awesome dude!*~*Look at that jello go!*~*Dude, that is so homosapien!*~*Was it just like that?*~*Some people have no lives (sticks grapes randomly in pudding)*~*Do the Pu-pu-pu-puyallup!*~*If I could be any garden tool, I'd be a ho*~*ahahahahaha... ASS!*~*Cool? SWEEEET!! (few seconds later you hear me...) Tight!*~*WINNERS CIRCLE! (Dude, that is so not a circle)*~*Come again?*~*You gotta streeetch, and KICK!*~*STOP THE FIREWORKS OR I'M CALLING THE SHERIFF!!*~*Don't make this harder than it already is! (looks down) Too late!*~*This cookie is totally undercooked!! (hits table) See that?? The table didn't break!!! I WANT A NEW COOKIE!*~*Don't worry about it!*~*I have crabs! (I really don't that is a JOKE)*~*Nothing happened on the stairs!*~*It's confidential!*~*I died 2 seconds ago*~*I dance like a special ed kid with a sparkler!*~*See, its a star*~*ASS RAMPAGE!!!*~*Who let the dogs out? Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!*~*El Stupido!!*~*YEAH TOAST!!!*~*I call this move the toast!! Let's do the toast!*~*Chill! Word! Peace! Love! RESET!!!!*~*If I had a knife 3 people would be dead right now!*~*Piccomolo!*~*OH MY GOD!!! It's more Megans!!!*~*MISTA! MISTA! Get this thing offa me!!*~*HERE EAT THIS!!!*~*Hey GUY, do you know Ryan Carlson? Can we have his number?*~*Hey GUY, is this your bag cause my friends gonna look through it!*~*I'M A MONKEY!!! MOO MOO!!!* ~*Let me see your football player! WHATS THAT YOU SAY? I said let me see your football player! WHATS THAT YOU SAY? I said let me see your football player! WHATS THAT YOU SAY? I said oh, ah ah ah oh, ah ah ah oh, ah ah ah oh!*~*TURKEY!*~*Its a friendship pretzel... NO DON'T EAT IT!*~*I need a restraining order against Suzi... yes I don't think I can stand next to her in this formation!*~*I love standing next to Sarah... ehehe... Sarah I don't want to be friends with you, I want to be friends with your boobs (haha I was so kidding...)*~*I've got a hard guy in my pocket...*~*POCKETS!*~*Keep this in your pocket FOREVER!*~*Contact... LINZ... Contact... LINZ... Contact... LINZ... THATS ME!*~*Blah*~*Champion wanna cracker??*~*I don't want no tag team... I WANT SOME PAIN!!*~*Wanna make out?*~*Wendy and I have been skating all morning and laughing and talking of memories past*~*But what if you remain a sandy little butthole?*~*Don't forget to bring a towel!!*~*Stan, tell them about when Terrance called Philip a testicle shitting rectal wart!*~*And theeeen... NO AND THEN!!!*~*Wanna cookie?*~*EAT UP, CHUBBO!*~*Take this classic Canadian joke for example: Hey Terrance! Yes Philip? **insert fart here** AHAHHAHAHA!!! Now Terrance smells like my ass!! *(Conan) You can't say that on TV, guys.* CHEERS FUCK FACE!!*~*Philip, this is worse than the time I fell asleep and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture! I know Terrance, I know...*~*Mr Maki can I ask you a question? WHATS THE BIG FUCKIN DEAL BITCH?!*~*Sudam, why do you always want to make love to my from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm someone else?*~*Fine then don't go to church! But when you die and go to hell, you can answer to SATAN!!! ..ok..*~*Yeah, I just learned everything about Big Brother that I didn't want to know*~*What, this boy isn't working out? Well then, on to the next...*~*Hi, I want to rump you.....*~*MOO*~*Trenchcoat Mafia!! Ahhh*~*Bethany, Kelly BREAK IT DOWN*~*KelBel600: I made up a new dance. It's called the BIBLE BREAKDOWN*~*This is the Dish Song just for you AAH*~*Little boy, little boy... come home with me*~*Bethany has a nice caboose!*~*ONE LOVE! But aren't you saying two loves? I mean, really! Isn't it TWO loves?*~*I think I’m really cool and buff. I’m so awesome cause I have a cool car and I’ll say I’ll be there to pick you up but I won’t be there cause I’m a homo� WHAT’S MY NAME?!*~*Silly Style Fun in da Life of Me*~*SCORE*~*OTG CREW! HITTING IT UP*~*Let’s all go to the Cabana!*~*John, you can’t come over unless you bring some food! *~*Doggie Poo Box*~*Communism never looked this good...*~*You big silly!*~*Dizaaam*~*Tiziiiight*~*Don’t do the dew! Do the COKE!*~*You won’t deliver to us?! AHH!! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!*~*Bethany eyes*~*Wait! What Sarah, ur gonna break something with those WHATS?!*~*Boobcam*~*I'm a punk rock prom queen... something something something...*~*Sarah's representin Muk-town... hell yeah baby... peace tha fuck out!(Bethany idolizes her. Can't you tell by the earnest look on her face?!)*~*Toilet Surfing*~*SUPERSTAR*~* I just looked up and saw her!.... THEN MY SHIRT FELL OFF!!*~*I want chicken, I want liver, meow mix, meow mix PLEASE deliver*~*Do you like Jalapeno Corn Dogs?*~*Thanks for checking your messages ROBB*~*I LOVE JAKE*~*Red Shiny Thongs*~*Dude! I think we burned the other pizza too!*~*BOYS SUCK*~*Just anything with our page*~*chickachicka*~*Oh yeah? Well I’m Eskimoan! Take that Portugese!*~*I love Michael Jackson dude!*~*boys are so ghey*~*what a flamer!*~*dude.. Didn’t you hear? Mathew Cox is gay!*~*I am the number one fan Cafe Starbucks... SEXY BOYS!!!*~*Yeah, I just learned everything about Big Brother that I didn't want to know*~*grrness*~*My parents own a sweatshop Bethany! Don’t you understand?!*~*yeah.. um.. thanks for the mustard.. oh wait, you didn’t hear me. That’s right*~*Bethany! I saw a goat at the market! It was so great!*~*You were so born in a barn! But me? Dude, I was born in a manger with the sheep baa-ing me to sleep.*~*What now?!*~*I am so good� I am so EFFING good!� GOD� I LOVE BEING ME! I mean, if I wasn’t me, man.. I’d idolize me. I’d be like damn, I wish I was that good� But what am I? You see? I AM THAT GOOD*~*Hold on, let me ask Jesus Christ...*~*He acts like he's Jesus Christ our savior!!!*~*He is the gayest straight man I know...*~*Why did you do that? ... Because my dad told me not to!*~*Oh yeah I forgot I have a vagina... damn that hole!*~*Your hand hurts*~*If ego=penis then yes, I do have a big ego*~*Quit stabbing me with your tongue*~*What's the point of that? WHAT'S THE POINT OF YOU!?!*
..:: Just Plain Lovely ::..
*...when love speaks, the voice of all the gods make heaven drowsy with harmony.*~*...I will wear my heart upon my sleeve.*~*Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?*~*After him I love more that I love these eyes, more than my life, more than all mores...*~*My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. The more I give to thee the more I have, for both of these are infinite.*~*Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.*~*...love is blind, and lovers cannot see the pretty follies that themselves commit.*~*Love is merely a madness, and I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and whip as madmen do.*~*If thou rememberest not the slightest folly that ever love did make thee run into, thou hast not loved.*~*Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.*~*This love will undo us all.*~*The course of true love never did run smooth.*~*By heaven, I do love, and it hath taught me to rhyme and to be melancholy.*~*Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their books, but love from love, toward school with heavy looks.*~*Take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.*~*Young men's love then lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.*~*Down on your knees and thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love.*
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