07.30.02
so much memorie flashed into mai head last nite..all the things that didnt seem inportant bak then all added up to wht it ish now..it seem like i was watchin wht ish happenin almost like a movie..alot of the lil things i didnt see bak then ish becomein more clear as everything unfolds but now i dont kno if all this ish jus meeh..ish it jus meeh thinkin else where..i hate it when i start to dought maiself even tho i was so sure the nite before..ish it cuz mai mind ish more clear rite now without the emotions holdin meeh bak.. did i get the rite meanin for the words i read last nite..that one thought jus wont leave mai mind rite now..it finds its own way to repeat again n again...the computer screne ish hurtin mai eye rite now..i feel so tired..jus wanna go to sleep..
it dont do meeh ne good
its jus a waste of time
wht use ish it to u
whats on mai mind
if i aint commin out
were not going ne where
so why cant i jus tell u that i care
whts wrong with mai tongue
these words kee slippin away
i stutter..i stumble off
like ive got nothing to sai
07.29.02
wht kinda of idiot am i..keep forgetting to cash mai check..argh..feel so stupid..hope i dont loose it..ish gonna cost meeh like i think 25$ to replace the check...oh wellz...work went bai pretty fast nothing interestin hardly happens there except jus talked to some of the older kids a lil more..some of them even kno more vocab then meeh o.O macronie n cheese at pyoppes taste nasty..the cheese ish so freakin watery..doesnt even taste like cheese ne more..the 1.49$ chicken ish good..cheap n there ish alot..dont wanna spend that much money on lunch..cant wait till ish all over...14 more day not counting weekends..basically there goes mai summer -_- actaully started to work on mai Ap Enviro homework..ish so freakin confusin..i cant believe i am actually startin to read 3 chapters, almost like freakin 80 pages of that book..should i procrastinate n read it the day before the test?? stupid hw ish due the first day of skool and a 50 point readin test tooh..i regret signin up for this freakin class n wantin to b VP of Hours..argh..both are so freakin time consuming...jus sat round home readin the whole time..i wanna go out..go to the beach of something..the beach sounds nice rite round now..far far away from here..
this time i truly read something i shoudnt of read..if i never refreshed the page on mai comp i wouldnt of seen that extra link i habent seeb b4..i didnt even kno that was there to beign with till i heard bout it the other day..that lil gyrl was like the one i was askin pplz for mai journal the other time..but i guess ish all kool tho even tho i remba askin round for it..oh wellz..ish hard to put into to words hoz i feel rite now..partly cuz i dont even kno hoz to explain wht imma feelin rite now..blahz..prob it was better not being curious..not knowin ish better then knowin more then u want to..alot of stuff that pplz dont see i kno..ish not hard for meeh to put together lil things n get a big clear pix out of it..i mai not seem like a very detailed person but piecein lil pieces of the puzzle ish not hard even tho i dont hab much of it to start with...ish prob jus this feelin of intuition i get all the time..wht ish scarie ish that ish 99% right..there hasnt been a time i was wrong yet at least i dont kno i was wrong...alot of the things make sense now from like from then to now..prob ish jus stupid of meeh not to see it in the first place or ish it jus meeh rite now..cant shake this feelin away but imma for sure now i kno something else...something ive been doughtin for a long time..i can rite a million words but none of it can realli describe hoz i feel rite now...*sigh* i gib up, even tho i never tried..prob ish for the better..ish it mai fault to begin with..never wanna b curious again..nothing good realli comes out of that...once twice always...
07.28.02
things realli got to meeh last nite..i would of jus stayed online to stare at the sreen but i hab to go..went bak to mai room n wrote almost four pages worth of how i felt and wht was botherin meeh..it was reallli hard to rite on the line when ish pitch dark at night..every single light in mai house was off n the one outside mai window didnt help much..now i kno hoz it is for pplz who r blind..i couldnt read wht i was writing..i think that was a good thing cuz i can realli write down with i feel without habin mai eyes read it..the more i read it over the more i think ish wrong..i can tell that when i was riting that the feelin was slowly fadein away..if i didnt rite it down i wouldnt remeba hoz i felt..ish kinda hard to explain..i dont trust mai heart ne more..
ive been wantin to watch halloween resserction but it doesnt show at the movies ne more >.< that sux n i got someone to go watch it w meeh tooh..argh..stupid theather so gettho..ish onli been out for like two weeks..damn there ish some of those frekain movies been out for a month n ish still showin in the theather..argh..went to eat at JJ instead..jus sat there n wait for mai ice cream..took those pplz freakin long time to make that..ish not like ish alot of work..they kept forgetting to gib it to meeh..not going to go bak there next time for banana split..that thing freakin cost like four dollars..i paid like eight dollars for ice cream n a drink..that ish so freakin expensive!!!! their thai ice tea taste so freakin nasty...it leave like this bitter after taste..i knew i should of gotten cherry coke..the guys kept talkin bout CS i was pretty much lost..afterwards i walked around bai maiself n went home..bought this realli kool lookin sand in a bottle from sanrio..it came from a beach in okinawa, japan..they r shaped like shells n stuff..so pretty..ish hangin off mai cell phone rite now..imma scared that when i drop mai phone imma gonna break it..*knock on wood*.. went out again round like 6 ish to diana house to help her finish her model house..i made this funnie lookin park with a duck swimin on the pond and drew alot of doors and windows on the little boxes..ate so much sweet and sour pork with brocillie..so full =D..
07.27.02
stitch woke meeh up this morning to wake up diana for her..i was still half asleep whenhe called in..it was pretty easy to wake her up this morning..tricked him to think i was diana again when we three-wayed him..i thought i was going to go glendla with mai sis todai but then she didnt want to go ne more..went online..took a shower then off to diana house..get to scare jonathan tomorrow..haha he better not drink ne thing before the movie starts..revenge for makin meeh go on goliath..muhahaha..tomorrow ish gonna b an interesting day..
ish so funnie..diana got locked out of her house n she did it to herself tooh..she wanted to go get snowbubble n stitch went with her...at first i didnt kno y she wanted meeh to stay n watch the house..then i realized that she dont got the key to the house..muahaha..i was jus standin at the door laughin at her cuz she cant get bak into her own house...stood there for a while until stitch said that he was goin to get in from the window n come kick meeh -_- ..haha..gonna help her cut out the model for her gettho model city then at 3 o'clock gotta go to campus meeting at almansor park next to the pond n chase some ducks >=D..
i HATE being VP of Hours..ish a freakin lotta work!! freakin meeting took forever to finish..pplz tunred in so mani freakin hrs..i hate this..so much work..meetin was alrite but it took like 2 hrs to anounce services..wasnt realli payin attention to the servcies i was jus sittin there caculatin hrs cuz i freakin needa turn it in when the meetin ish ova..argh...spent another hr posting the hrs pplz did on the site..they better check the site..i dont wanna freakin be workin on that for no reason..dont kno if i even wanna keep workin on that durin the yr...someone was annoyin the hell outta meeh, wont leave meeh alone to do mai hrs..ish mai own thing n i can handle it..i dont need u to freakin like act all nice n helpful..argh..hate when they do that..signed up for samuri 5k n tofu fest..gotta wake up like at freakin 4:30 in the morning o.O dont think imma gonna sleep that nite
07.26.02
PAY DAY!!!!!
finailly, waited for like a month to get paid..stupid tax took away like 30 something dollars..i dont even make enough to pay tax -_- ..whts with the #3..i got paid like 333.33..n i still got 3 more week of skool n would of gotten like 30 something dollars more if i worked taht extra day...damn that wht i get for being lazie n dont want to go to work..beat tony in frustration <~~ hoz ever the hell u spell that..always makin up excuses when he loose..i own u..haha.. think i walked almost like a hundred times round the center tryin to find something to do..all the lil kids were gonna..kick bak time..wHoOo!! chocolate shortcake ice cream bar ish good =P..gonna get that for lunch next week
went to diana house to kick it for a while..i was goin there to help her on her project but i eneded up workin on mai planner instead..sorrie i wasnt much help =( then went to office depot to check the price for foam board but i ended up getting so much things..pplz ish rite i am n impulsive buyer..every aile i went down i got something from there..bought like 3 things n it cost almost like 10$ >.< that where all mai money goes..then walked to hakrits house..there was a fan *smiles* wasnt as hot as before..i hab to redo all the labelin in mai planner cuz i messed up on the date..hab to white everything out..argh!! got so mad at maiself..
ish funnie hoz the way i feel changes so much in a few mins..from like =D to =/ to -_- to >.< and bak all over again..not always in that order tho..whts that suppose to mean?? blah..more thinkin, this ish not going to b good...cant seem to stop thinkin bout it...most of the time it jus finds it way to come bak even tho i try so hard not to think bout it..dont wanna think bout it ne more..ish so hard to jus let it be..pushin it away ish not going to get ne where..i kno pretty soon ish gonna catch up with meeh..so mani things remind meeh of the past..i know i shouldnt live in the past but at times i jus dritf off and think bout it again..
07.25.02
Today's Date: 07/25/02
Sagittarius (11/21-12/21)
You need more fire in your romantic life. Maybe you'll get there by living out a shared fantasy. If one of you is preoccupied with a problem, there's no reason why the other can't step forward and be of assistance.
if stitch didnt point it out i wouldnt of noticed that each sagittarius likes a virgo..pretty interesting...i never thought of it that way..both of us got bored enough to check their horescope tooh...does this apply to all of them?? each and every single one of them?? cant belive ish for all 3 of us pplz..i usually dont believe in this n i still dont..like to read them for fun tho n that bout it
- woke up at 7 in the morning..late 15 mins
- stood outside n watch the kids swim in the mini pool..so freakin HOT
- passions...phone with stitch
- online..campus site..post up old pic
- beyond belief..the story bout the lil boi scared meeh o.O
- dead tired...mai eyes hurt o.o
think bout u from time to time..do yoOoh??? -_-
07.24.02
- went to work..wHoOo!! one more day till pay day
- came home n slept
- frist thing i thought of when i woke up..call??
- selena ~ dreamin of yoOoh
- online
07.23.02
pplz so sad hung up on meeh last nite when i fell asleep..it was funnie tho..stitch thought i was diana when i was talkin..actaully i wasnt realli talkin jus mummblin stuff until the point i couldnt stop mai self from laughin...i tried to hold it in n see hoz long it was going to take him to realize it was meeh..poor stitch..meeh n diana bursted out laughin so hard..it was so funnie...*laughing* "HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA"
ish okie stitch =D
stitch: okie imma bak
meeh: uh huh (sleepie tone of voice)
stitch: awww diana ur sleepie already??
meeh: *thinkin* wht the hell..diana???
stitch: are you okie??
meeh: *tryin not to laugh* uh huh
stitch: dia..u okie??
meeh n diana: *laughin realli hard* HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
i laughed so hard i woke maiself up.. mai stomach hurted so bad afterwards..it was funnier then corns on fire..thakie stitch for remind meeh bout this..i 4got till i read ur journal..haha
mai alarm was so freakin loud this morning it woke meeh up like nothing..all the other times i didnt hear mai alarm was cuz i hab the volume on level one -_-that was stupid..jus found out that if ur late even jus a min it gonna coast u like $1.35..teacher ish werid let u sleep in class but u cant b late..started to fold stars again yesterdai..usually when i do fold them i find a person to fold it for..some gyrl thought that i jus fold it for fun n then gib it to ne one..slept through ROP again too tired to stay awake n fold them.. lookin forward to friday =D PAY DAY!!!! FINAILLY..dont kno wht to do with the money tho..prob gonna go shoppin n buy pplz birthday presents
ish werid everytime i start to rite mai journal that korean song kiss ~ because im a gyrl always play jus like when ever i talk to him i hear that kci n jojo song..still tooh scared to call tho... =/ jus read something that i didnt want to kno..ish not that bad but it made mai heart skipped a beat..dont kno y i jus kept readin it over and over..it got meeh to start thinkin again..thinkin n wonderin wht does all that mean..ish it wht i think it ish or ish it jus meeh thinkin else where..no one i can ask bout this n no on to tell it to..dont think ne one understand hoz imma thinkin rite now..i dont even understand hoz imma thinkin rite now let alone ne one else..oh wellz,all i can sai ish...
07-22-02
didnt do much todai..i never hab alot of things to do at work...i got the easiest job there jus sit n listen to lil pplz read to u..i dont realli hab to watch the kids in the pool or watch them play..jus sit all day long =D i ended up foldin origami most of the time again...foldin cranes this time..ish a lil less work but then teachin it to like almost 80 of them ish harder then i thought..alot of them dont rem the steps that i taught them..i hab to like go step bai step with them like almost four times then they get a lil of it..i almost fainted in the library it was so freakin HOT in there..
time jus pass bai so fast day bai day..cant seem to keep track of wht ish goin on ne more..jus kno that time dont wait for u but u gots to make good use of the time that u got..there are lots of things that seem to push off doin day bai day..i always push it off n eventually i forget..i keep tellin maiself ill do it later..but then later means never..at the end i jus end up not doin what i was going to do n that jus gonna keep goin on n on until i do decide to do somethin bout it..i jus dont think that there ish enough time in a day
07-21-02
woke up round like 10 ish to get ready to go to movies later..i was hella bored online this morning..mai punchin bag ish so mean he rahter go to sleep then talk to meeh -_- spend like an hr and half BOMBin his away msg..haha i had fun bombin his away msg tho...375 msg =D should of stayed a lil longer n i would of gotten to 400..
it was a mess at first..we didnt kno where to meet up for the movie..i told all of them to meet at the quad but some of them wanted to go to diana house first..i got dropped off at the quad pretty earlie..when i got there then i realized that it was close..went to tapoic express to get pop corn chicken =) then went bak to meeh duckie stitch n alan and wait for diana at ricks..i wanted to watch halloween resserction but then some pplz were not old enough to get in..y cant u pplz b 17 yet?!?!?!?! then we were thinkin of watchin bounre idenity but we missed the 4 o'clock show...it was either minority report or eight legged freak..i wasnt bout to spend 6 dollars to watch spiders...ewwww..the stupid chairs were so uncomfortable..mai bak hurts from the freakin hard chair..the movie was soOoOoOo long..it was alritie not that good but not bad i guess..went to alan house
imma startin to like balcony all of a sudden..everytime we go to alan's house i alway end up being there...most of the time i jus sit there bai maiself jus thinkin bout stuff..i realli wanted to talk to him in person but then i jus ended up there..prob wanted to kno if he notice imma gone or neone else..stitch came n joined meeh after awhile..kinda wished it was someone else that came in but yeah talked for a while n kept punchin him..since mai punchin bag wasnt there i hab to improvise..ate so much potato for dinner..smashed potato then french fries with chicken mcnuggets =D.. so full rite now but the mcnuggest kinda taste nasty tho..u can so tell it was made a long time ago..
- thought i almost lost todai entry hab to go on another comp n retype it..doesnt sound the same as the first time i wrote it >.<
07-20-02
i cant hear mai alarm in the morning ne more..ima pretty sure i set it at the rite time but i still dont hear it..prob so dead asleep at nite dont even kno wht ish goin on round meeh..woke up at 10 this morning to go to a service..japanese rice crakers r good =P ...all we did was sit there n teach pplz hoz to fold insect origami..i made 3 butterlies a lady bug n this thing that i dont remember the name of..tony made this funky lookin samurai hat thing out of newspaper..hint:he dont got enough money to afford real paper therfor he gots to use newspaper =D..haha Jkin tony.. then went with him n jenny to juice it up to get smoothie..
i was suppose to go watch halloween resserction todai but some pplz couldnt make it..i realli realli wanna go watch that but pplz dont seem like they wanna go..some pplz seem like they onli talk to u cuz they want something n onli wanna plan to go somewhere with u cuz they think that if u go someone else that they wanna see ish goin to go tooh...*sigh* ne one wanna go watch that with meeh?? imma not sure if i can make it to the party next sat..ish so expensive 10 dollars for food >.< gots to go w mai sis to the mall in the morning n then campus meetin at 3..ish freakin mandatory cant do nething bout it.. -_-
ahHh..freakin senior pix came todai..i turned out soOoO funnie..kinda look like kyna in the photos..ugh..ish so uglie...gots to take the senior pix over i dont care if ish goin to cost more..imma so not going to put that one in the yr bk!!! does ne one kno hoz the retake ish like? do i still send in the proofs of the one that i might want to hab in the yr bk or wht...argh..*smack maiself in the head* o.O ..should of done it rite in the first place y did i agree to that.. to diana n chirs "NOOO u can not see them!!!!!"
07-19-02
-thankie jeff for getting the translation for meeh..for a moment i thought he was mad cuz i asked him to help meeh o.O
kiss ~ because i'm a gyrl
i don't understand men's hearts
they say they want you and then they leave
"this is the first time, you're special"
those words I believed and I was so happy
you should have told me you didn't like me any longer
*even though I will curse you, I will still miss you
love is everything to me because I am a girl*
i heard If you give all too easily
to a man, he will get bored
i don't think this is wrong
a girl will say she will not be fooled again,
but she will fall in love again
you should have told me you did not love me any longer
but I didn't see it and you pushed me
*even though I will curse you, I will still miss you
love is everything to me becuase I am a girl*
(narration)
don't take advantage of a girl's willingness
to do anything for love and her caring instinct
i didn't know being born a girl and to be loved was so hard
*even though I will curse you, I will miss you
love is everything to me because I'm a girl
even though I will curse you, I will miss you
love is everything to me because I'm a girl.*
- went to work..pplz there were extremely nice todai o.O
- did nothing but fold paper turtle all day at work..6 hrs so tired
- after work met up with diana stitch n kan
- found helise n went to kick it at startbuck..frappachino ish yummie
- went to diana house...pplz help her install widow XP
- fell asleep at her house..they tried to take a pix of meeh >.<
- got boba..actually peach snowbubble..they didnt even blend it w the ice
- bak to kick it at diana's house...then went home
- phone with stitch..like mai icon???? haha
07-19-02 ~ 1:20am
as i sit here n think about all that i'm missing,
but the more that ur on mai mind
i'm just lonely under, can't u see
y cant u b with meeh to hold meeh tight
just bein with you will make everythin better n bright
i wannna hab u bai mai side
n without u mai hearts starts to cry
i stayed up all nite, remerbin wht we hab
n i cant sleep all week n thinkin of u makes meeh sad
i cant seem to shake u off mai mind
jus wanna go bak in time to jus press rewind
i wanna hab u bai mai side
n without u mai hearts starts to cry
i am reach for u,are u feelin it tooh
there ish no easy way, it gets harder each day
love meeh or ill b gone..ill b gone
imma all out of love,imma so lost without u
n i kno u were right, believein for so long
hab nothing to do rite now other then riting this...feel like blah rite now...i think imma jus lost in mai own world rite now..doont kno wht to do n wht to think ne more...pplz r tellin meeh to do this but dont realli wanna sai it..that feelin jus came bak again *sigh* dont kno hoz to get rid of it..listenin to these two song rite now jagged edge ~ all out of love n kiss ~ without you ..isnt makin meeh feel ne better..imma realli startin to pay attention to songs lyrics now..
07-18-02
those freakin pplz that origianlly work at that day care center ish freakin annoyin...always orderin us n tellin us wht to do..argh dont even gib us time to take a break >.< dude they jus come out n order us to clean this n do that when ish our turn to rest n all they do ish sit inside n eat lunch..ARGH..hope they all get fired!!! get wht they deserve cuz theyre not doin nething..didnt get to eat lunch todai cuz those freak said that they didnt make our lunch or soemthing like that....ARGH..didnt get to eat lunch till like 230..got a tummy ache after i ate -_-
didnt do much todai..i onli woke up when i felt the pain on mai calf muscle when i pulled it *pain* again..went to work n came home n slept till like eight ish..5 hrs..i dont think imma going to sleep netime soon tonite o.O ate something n then went online..where ish everyone??? rite when i woke up i jus had this feelin that i realli wanted to talk to him but imma scared of callin...i dont kno y tho..but *shurgs* ..
that song on diana's journal sounds nice..i remember listenin to it when it was on her pager intro..i actually stayed a couple of min jus to listen to that..does ne one kno this song? " cant u b w meeh to hold meeh tight...i want to hab u bai mai side..n without u mai heart starts to cry.." she not respond to meeh..that freak..blah,i feel stupid now...i hab that song..stupid meeh..kjhdfkjahsdfkj..does this prove that i dont kno ne songs or ish jus that i dont listen to the lyrics that well..haha i figure out wht she ish saiin when she ish type gibberish...poor stitch dont get wht she ish saiin..
sleepy gyrl: wtf
sleepy gyrl: OMG!
sleepy gyrl: HOW YOU KNOW?!?!??!?!
LiLnEzUmi84: hahhahah
LiLnEzUmi84: DUH!!!!!!
sleepy gyrl: damn
sleepy gyrl: damn
sleepy gyrl: if i never did that?
sleepy gyrl: would you have figured it out?
LiLnEzUmi84: i dont think so
sleepy gyrl: DAMN!
sleepy gyrl: DAM!
sleepy gyrl: DAMN!
sleepy gyrl: *slams my head on the table*
sleepy gyrl: DAMN DAMN DAMN
sleepy gyrl: NOW YOU KNOW!!!
07-17-02
talked on the phone till like almost 2 something in the morning last nite..the things that we hab to catch up on..sometime ish kinda hard to talk on 3 way cuz there r things we dont want that other person to hear..but ish all good..couldnt wake up this morning..felt so dead tired..they had totilla n white chesse at lunch todai..ish yumMmMmie =D..came home n cleaned mai rm..i habent cleaned it like in a LONG time..couldnt stand the mess ne more..dont kno whats with pplz sleepin todai..called diana n stitch n both of them were sleepin..called up mai punchin bag but no one picked up..the funnie thing ish that he called mai cell afterwards..hoz he kno that i called his house??? o.O went to shoshoni's juice it up nite..banana rama smoothie, werid name but it taste soOoOo good..
jus found out todai that the thing that turn off the sim clock for cingular ish fake -_- ..if he didnt tell meeh i would of kept on usin it..didnt reallze the # that we punch in spells out sim clock until he pointed it out..if i go over mai cell phone bill again mai sis ish going to kill meeh..hummm..even tho i saw him with all these gyrl todai n i didnt even feel nething..ish that a sign..hehe..ish kool being jus friends n thinkin nothing but jus that..kicked it at juice it up till it got kinda boring..walked from juice it up to like mcD on main st for no reason..thought they wanted to get chicken mcnuggets!! mai head still hurts..even tho cornroll r pretty..it freakin hurts when u take them off >.< i think i lost like a handfull of hair..or ish it cuz of herbal essense..i heard that it makes u loose alot of hair cuz of the chemical they use to make the shampoo smell soOoOo good..
mai knee still hurts from fallin the other time at the park..the bruise never went away..which ish worser green or purpleish black bruise? i seem to b hurting maiself alot lately..bumpin into alot of things..for some reason i wanna find the translation to kiss - because im a gyrl..
things to do b4 i go to sleep:
- find the traslation to that korean song
- decide if i should get a counter for mai journal
- untangle mai confusion
07-16-02
i lost the bet yesterdai with tony n i bought him soda todai but then he wouldnt take it >.< i woke up extra earlie jus to get that soda for him..i feel so rejected he didnt take it..that freak..for some reason i was so wide awake in ROP todai..tired to sleep cuz then i didnt want to hab red eyes b4 i take the senior pic later..mai dad picked meeh up after ROP n went over to rosanna house to fix mai hair..it took her like almost 2 hrs to do the cornroll n curl it..thankie rosie..i think i look funnie..i originially wanted to jus curl the layers.. >.< oh wellz ish all good..hope it dont turn out funnie..cuz of the stupid pix i didnt get to work till like 12 n i hab to get off at 4..freakin el senro kids r so freakin annoying..they dont listen, at least not to meeh...told them they were goin to get hurt but then they didnt believe meeh until they got hurt..i couldnt help it but sai that "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" freakin..so annoying i am not going to work that shift ne more..jus one of meeh n freakin 80 of those lil ones...went to diana's house after work..i found an eight yr old pic in diana econ book todai..it was ahs '94 prom...i cant believe ish been there for so long...taco nite =D *yuMmMie*
YEEY imma the first person in diana's survery thingy...i cant believe everyone had like the same response..humm..hab u guy notice that all the pplz that diana said that they seem like a bro to her all admit that they r like a bro to her even tho they r gyrl... example: sleepy gyrl: you're like a brother to me ... L1s613ob3e5a: n ur like a brother to me 2 ..haha...stupid pplz...mai typical answer to nething " u freak!!!" i dont kno y she finds that funnie tho..do u??? dont u think shes werid..dianas pen jus die n she went to her backpack n pulled out another one that ish EXACTLY the same one..weird pplz these dayz..dont kno wht they r going to do next...
ish so sad..i jus found out that one of mai friends that i went to elementary skool with was in a coma..u dont realized hoz fragile life ish until something happen to someone u kno...she slept in the bak seat n when the car got in an accident she flew out the back window thingy..come to think of it i sleep like that tooh at times...ish jus scarie to kno someone u knew almost died...after hearin bout that i was watchin huston medical..i think ish huston or boston but yeah...it jus scarie to see wht goes on in the ER all day long..hoz pplz loose their life jus like that.."live each day to the fullest because ur not going to kno wht ish going to happen next.."
07-15-02
work wasnt that bad todai except the fact that there ish so much drama goin on..ish krazie hoz so much things can happen in one day...lets see the lady in the kitchen got yelled at cuz she asked tooh much of us to help her..some kid mom took her kid out of the program cuz she thought her son got sick there..the janitor ish accused of flirting with this azn guy wife...two more lil pplz got sick after they ate lunch..that azn guy's dog kept poopin all over the font lawn of the center..pplz were workin extra hard todai cuz they heard that they were going to fire some pplz and most of them didnt get their last pay check yet..ish funnie hoz they r pushin each other to go ask the boss for their paycheck..none of them wants to ask n they jus buggin each other to ask..never seen to much drama in one day n imma onli there for like 4 hours!!!!!
got the van driver in trouble cuz he left us b4 we got on the van..he yelled at us saiin that we were late but ish his fault for not waiting..
came home n worked on the campus n lup site for a while..ish so freakin HOt..dont kno wht ish wrong with this weather..kinda chased the ice cream truck down a block but it was all worth it...i got chocolate ice cream =D..lil person put wht i sai in him info >.< ..bad idea..meeh n tony jus hab a bet that we cant cap on each other n the first on that does owe that other person a soda..imma going to win for sure..tony ish so nice that ish so scarie..imma not used to him not capin on meeh every other sentence..feels so werid..
need something scarie..i wanna watch halloween rescerction!! who wants to go watch it with meeh..some of u pplz sux still 16 cant get ur ticket to go watch it w meeh >.< i dont kno if it takes alot to scare meeh habent watched a very scaried movie in a long time..i wanna go to fright fest or knotts on halloween..does ne one kno which ish scarier? fright fest of knotts? mayb if i can find someone to go to haunted forest or gravity hill that nite..hehe..gonna b one heck of a halloween..whts wrong with meeh ish freakin in the middle of the summer n imma thinkin of halloween..
07-14-02
stitch woke meeh up again this morning..i was still sleepin n i think if he didnt call i would of kept sleepin till one or two..i want mai stitch desktop thingy..send it to meeh!!! it was freakin HOT todai..i think i got another tan on mai arm >.< tat ish not a good idea..i hab senior pic this tuesdsay n i cant get rid of these stupid tan lines..ne one wanna trade senior pix??
lotus fest was fun..went with diana n mai sis..it was kinda hard to talk cuz mai sis was there..but yeah..ate those mexican ice cream and roasted corn..yumMmMie =D..went on the paddle boat thingy twice..mai legs r so tired..diana kept goin in circles for an hr..she cant steer for nething we kept going in the wrong direction..i bet nething we were the onli boat in the middle of the pond going bakwards n in circles..we kept duckie on the phone most of the time when were on the paddle boat thing..chased some ducks on the phond n hit one that was sleepin..this boat next to us wanted to race n i was tooh busy talkin on the phone i didnt realize that i wasnt paddling n diana was sreamin cuz they were leading but we won at the end..it was so fun next time we shold get alot of pplz there n race =D..
i guess i hab reasons to sai that life ish bornin n conufusin n alot of thinkin happenin..ish hard not to think when ur confused but ish worse when ur thinkin one thing n pplz tellin u another..wht other pplz r saiin ish jus throwin u off..u dont kno who to believe...urself or them..a part of meeh ish tryin to make that feelin go away put some part of meeh want maiself to feel that way..sometime i jus wonder y cant i talk to him like i talk to everyone else..i dont see the diff..dont kno y ish so hard..i dont feel like talkin to ne one rite now..ish hard being stuck in the middle of something..being the messange isnt the easiest thing in the world..i dont kno wht to sai ne more i dont want to get involved in it..cant they jus talk it out themselve..imma not complainin rite now..ish jus that i dont get why they cant do that..ish obvious to meeh hoz each of them feel but they jus cant seem to sai it..ish hard for u guy to sai it n ish also hard for meeh to do it tooh..prob imma jus not feelin up to it rite now..been thinkin alot lately n ish not gettin meeh ne where...tryin to take a friends advise rite now, gonna hab fun n take it ez..if it comes it comes if i doesnt then whteva..
07-13-02
woke up this morning..took a shower n went to watch MIB 2 again with mai sis..it was a pretty boring movie to begin with and the second time i almost fell asleep..summer jubliee was not as good as last yr..they hab less n less booth each yr and the one that r there they all sell the same thing..there was almost like 3 of the booth sellin jelly candles..i still remember the time when i went last yr and bought the candle for seven dollars..i cant belive one yr passed by so fast..i made one of those name spray paint thing..it wasnt as good as last yr..it was so computeraized but it still looks nice n with mai obession with mouse of cours it said mousie with a pix of a mouse =D..
it was fun kickin it with them at the jubliee but then i felt like a lightbulb..seein all these couples jus make meeh feel kinda lonely..prob i jus miss habin someone there for meeh..i realli wanted him to go yesterdai but then he never showerd up..i realli wanted to talk to him todai but for some i jus dont feel like talkin to him rite now..on the car ride to alan's house i was jus lookin out the window n thinkin..went to alan's house n watched oceans 11..kinda lost cuz we came in durin the middle of the movie n didnt kno wht was going on..i realli wanted to talk to him all day but then it seem like i hab the worst timin ever..he wasnt home when i called n rite when i signed online he signed off..oh wellz..
i think i should stop bein the messanger between them prob ish better if they talk it out them selves..they pratically kno wht each other thinks..imma jus there to sai the things that they dont wants to sai to each other cuz for i dont kno y..i dont kno y they both r so scared of gibin a hug to the other person infront of everyone else cuz they r pratically holdin hands..i cant realli sai nething bout it ish up to them to decide wht to do but for now imma jus going to the messanger..
07-12-02
made it through one week of work without getting hurt..went w diana n chris to watch MIB 2..i wanted to watch halloween rescretion todai but then ish in the small theather..after that i got creation banana vanilla ice cream..sat at KFC then took the bus to Baren's Park..all of us were playin on the kid stuff..got stuck on the slide cuz stitch wont move out of the way..got thrown into a tunnel thingy..almost got throw in the trashcan and fell on the floor..i hurt mai finger,elbow,n knee n ish all on the left side of mai body tooh..does this make up for all the time i didnt get hurt at work?? o.O pplz went to play bball at kids field n i walked to get alot of boba..surprisly i can stil walk after that fall..kicked it at alan house afterwards..kinda felt like i didnt belong there cuz everyone was in pairs n i was jus walkin bai maiself..
some stuff in those chick soup books are rite..
Love ish....
- when u feel something more then friendship but u cant quite describe it
- suddenly being nervous, shy and unable to think of nething to sai whenever you are near a certain someone
- wanting to look ur best when u kno u will be seein him or her
- rushing home to call or be called bai him or her
- being able to b smart and funnie around everybody until he/she shows up n then u are unable to sai nething that even make sense
- listening to the words to songs that you never bothered listening to before
- .::love ish confusing all bai itself..try n keep it as simple as possible::.
07-11-02
talked to duckie on the phone till like almost morning..breeding fightin fish seems interesting..i want a silver one but someone rather breed a blue one >.< when ish he plannin to answer nething i ask him..weirdo dont kno ne thing bout himself..it was so hard to wait till he was half dead to ask him ne thing..i think i fell asleep first but i dont kno..slept in the living room..woke up in the morning not rememberin hoz i hung up the phone prob the battery died..i wasnt sleep but i felt so tired..didnt want to move a muscle jus wanted to keep on slepin..went to ROP did some work n went bak to sleep =D
worked on this site for mai friend..when we got to MP lib then we noticed that it was closed..stupid stitch dont kno the hrs >.< then took the bus to the alhambra one..AC in the bus felt so good..there was free ice cream at cold stongs todai =D it was soOoOo good..haha..pplz sai things r free but then at the end they r like "u want to make a donation" feels kinda werid if u dont do it..but ish all good..she gav us alot of ice cream..sat at the quad n talked for a while..came bak home n worked on the site a lil more..the feelin go away when u hab something to do but once the distraction ish over it all jus comes bak... life ish jus so boring confusing and tooh much thinking ..dishes o.O
07-10-02
- woke up..went to work
- worked on campus hours site for 3 hrs makin the freakin bg
07-09-02
didnt do much todai..went to work then went ova to hakrit's house to help diana on her governemnt project..tuesday taco nite *yumMMie* 3 for 99 cents =D ...haha found some new place to kick it at when lollicup ish closed on tuesday..talked to diana bout lots of things..went online n messed with pplz..it was interstin to kno who knos the way that i type...i didnt kno they way that i type ish diff from other pplz..i feel original <~~ jacked that from someone =D...i seriouly was so tired last nite that i didnt kno that someone called meeh..i said alot of things when i was sleep..i dont even remember pickin up the phone or what i said..i realli wanna kno wht i said last nite..
i prob said alot of things that normally wouldnt tell pplz -_- rite now imma jus sittig here n thinking "..i cant believe that i feel this way..there ish so much i want to sai.." but who can i sai it to..
07-08-02
work passed by prety quickly todai...made up alot of brain teasers for the kids to do so they wont keep tellin meeh to play card games...ive learned to hate pair war cuz that game takes forever to finish..i was so tired that i fell asleep at diana house n i almost fell off the bed but i regained mai balance..then went with diana to work on her project at hakrit's house..filmed something at alhambra..stupid thumb up n that cheesy smile..i wanna see the whole thing get put together..if ne one comes up to meeh n said that they saw meeh in that video imma going to strangle the hakrit =D..
does all questions come with answers? or ish it jus something u want to kno but never going to find out? are some questions ment not to b answered but if i wanna kno the answer do i gots to go ask for it maiself? should i try to untangle it maiself but if i do i dont kno where to start..tryin so hard to forget it but yet i cant forget it..sometimes i wished i didnt kno wht that feelin was cuz i think it would of been better that way..i realli wanna kno..i dont kno who to turn to for answers..everyone seem to b habin their own things to deal with..
07-07-02
imma still so freakin tired from yesterdai..i didnt go to sleep till like 4 in the morning..pplz woke meeh up at 10..stupid bake sale.. whts up with that huh everytime that i go out very very last i alway hab a bake sale the next day..sigh..oh wellz..didnt do much todai went to hakrit's house, sat around there and didnt do much..i was so going to fall sleep..went to get boba then to diana house..i wish i can jus get all this confusion straighten out..jus dont want to deal with it nemore..tooh much to think bout these day..so mai questions but none of them can b answered..so mani meanings for something, i dont even kno if i got the right one..i jus wish that wht i think ish right..but will i ever kno it for sure tho...
07-06-02
i coudnt sleep last nite..hab the song :who do u tell - tamia: stuck in mai head jus repearting this part "who do u tell if u love someone..hopin that someone would love you tooh..." went to sleep at 2 after i finished talkin on the phone..diana n steven woke meeh up at 4 n 6 in the morning >.< ..stayed at six flags from 9 to 1 in the morning... 16 freakin hrs of walkin n waitin in line..mai feet hurts, i cant feel nething below the knee but it was worth it..the ride wasnt as bad as i thought it would b..omg..i love the loops =D ish so kool being upside down..went on viper, roaring rapids [and got soaked wet], ninja, gold rush, tidal wave [ a couple of us jus stood at the bridge jus to get wet..i got soaked wet from head to toe again after i dried up], viper again, riddlers revenge, and last goliath ....i litterly had pplz pick meeh up n throw meeh on goliath...jonathan now owes meeh ice cream n being mai punching bag for life =D..but thankz to diana chris n jonathan if it wernt for u guy i wouldnt of gone on that ride..umMmMm..kinda felt like i didnt realli fit ne where..things jus didnt come out the way i thought it was going to b..everyone had their own lil group..no one i could realli kick it with but other then that everthin was fun...
being confused ish not a good thing..thinkin ish bad cuz the more u think the more confused u get but the more confused u get the more u want to think to get out of that confusion..
07-05-02
didnt do much todai..woke up n talked on the phone..mai cell phone bill came todai..i went over like 127 minuets..freakin 57 dollars...argh...gonna go to lisa house n bake cupcake for bakesale on sunday..imma going to b so tired from 6 flags..i dont even want to go to the stupid bakesale..*YEEY* 6 flags tomorrow..i cant wait..imma draggin everyone to the water rides at nite..remember to bring cloth to change...omg going to stay there for 14 hrs that along time..so much walking..someone carry meeh
07-04-02
i went to sleep round like 2 something last nite cuz i was talkin on the phone w duckie..he wouldnt answer mai questions >.< ...pplz kept wakin meeh up in the morning so i decided to wake up n wake pplz up tooh =D..lisa came ova like pretty earlie and we both tried to wake diana up..REVENGE for all the time that she woke meeh up..i kept her on the phone for an hr ad all she could do was mumble..to stitch: I WOKE HER UP!!! we went to chris house for bbq..it was prety fun..i hate slap jack..freakin jonthan slaps hard..mai hand was all realli when the game was over..i think i got a couple of bruises on both mai hand..diana cant throw a football for nething she hit every single possible car that was next to meeh..chased her 3 blocks after she kicked meeh when i was sleepin
ive never seen fireworks so close before..we were almost right under it..it was so pretty but it killed mai neck tho..but the wall that i was leanin on kept moving..stupid steven..lisa screamed her head off when the fireworks went off..it was kinda funnie to watch her scream n everyone was lookin at her..the fire work show onli lasted 30 something minuets..i wish it was longer..i didnt want to leave the park but everyone wanted to go bak to alan's house..stupid pplz threw fireworks into the balcony when i was sitting there..it was prety scarie..over all it was a fun day beside the time when i didnt feel like maiself n wanted to b left alone
07-03-02
ish so hard to fall sleep last nite prob cuz i slept for 3 hrs in the afternoon.. i dindt fall asleep until like 2...couldnt wake up this morning, almost slept threw work..ish kool mr.lawson doesnt care if we sleep in class =D..humMm...i find more n more pplz workin in that WIA program..i jus found out that er and khon work there tooh..it was so quiet at work todai..no lil pplz runnin round =D...i should of went to soak city with them >.<
broke mai glasses at work todai..i feel so stupid for hangin it on mai pocket when i was washin the car..that remind meeh gots to wash mai uncle's van for saturday..went to the optomitic <~~ i think thats hoz u spell it..they ran out of black frames...i was forced to get a gold one..it looks so uglie..no one ish going to see meeh wear mai glasses ne more..that freakin frame cost meeh like 50 dollars..
07-02-02
*YEEY* two more dayz till 6 flags..i cant wait till saturday..i wonder hoz am i going to pick all of them up bai 8..ummm diana,steven,lisa,chris,and christina are commin in mai car..u guy better kno that we're going earlier then the rest of the group..freak, that means i dont get to sleep in again..oh wellz prob b sleepin in the car ne wayz..i call shotgun there ish no way imma going to sit between diana n steven again..i wanna go on all the water rides..possibably some of the rollar coaster..but there ish no way that imma going to go on goliath n those free fallz...i hate the feelin u get when u go down realli reali fast >.< ahHh i dont want to get a tan...
freakin pplz these day keep jackin pplz layouts n stuff online... i dont like to see mai layout on other pplz site...if u are going to do it at least do it right and hab the decientcy to change every freakin detail of it b4 u sai ish yours...imma so freakin mad rite now..argh..****..ish not even funnie... >=O pplz these dayz cabt stick to their own idea..hab to jack mai layout...u kno who u R...quoting someone "i dont feel original ne more..."
07-01-02
imma so tired rite now >.< but then i dont want to go to sleep yet..kinda tooh earlie..i rather talk on the phone..work wasnt as bad as i thought it would b..didnt get hit bai ne thing todai...ROP ish retarded...i wake up 6 something in the morning to learn hoz to play card games...wht kinda recreational trainin ish that? but ish all good still get paid for it..umm...todai i found out that i work till 2:10 =( ...i thought i get off at 1 *sniff sniff* i dont want to work that long...BLAH...stupid day care center, it doesnt provide lunch for us..i didnt get to eat lunch till like 2:30 ...blah..i gots to work with these kids n these hours for the next 6 weeks..7 am to 2 pm...tourture =/ ...imma going to b so sleepie..
todai was the first summer meeting for campus..ish so freakin hot at almansor park..jus hope that we dont got to hab ne more of those meetings there..it wasnt all that boring with pplz or person shouting comments all over the place..hehe..umm...i neva knew that there ish so much work to VP of Hours..freakin so much numbers to count..we are so unorganized..hope the new members get wht ish going on...imma pretty bad at explainin hoz the hour cards work...oh wellz..
i just found out that richard was going to let meeh drive his car at almansor park >.< ...should of asked him earlier..i didnt think that we was going to let meeh drive it.. blah, but mai dad was there couldnt do it ne wayz..i wonder if hell let meeh drive it next time..i better get a senior pix from u!!! hehe