11:37pm
prepairin for the chinese new year eve ceremony ish soo hectic. i was runnin round the house like a headless chicken lookin for things and cuttin vegetables. good thing i didnt stay out todai cuz mai mom was hella pist cuz mai sis and bro wasnt home. i didnt get yelled at =) the food wasnt that bad, not all vegetarian, but i think i am anti-crabs now. jus lookin at it disgusts meeh. gung hay fat chow! now that u read that u now owe meeh a red envelope filled with money =D !! kk..happie chinese new years..
01.30.03 l 10:05pm
went to kick it at j'than house afterskool todai with lisa q. i never knew that insense (those azn things) leave a stain on the wall. it was pretty interestin watchin him clean the wall. it was like 10 different shades of white. i always thought his house was khakhi color. lil john came and we were fightin to see whos catergory ish first on j'thans buddie list. went to eat at ABC Cafe. the spanish coffee ish soooooo good. mai favorite ice cream and coffee but together. *yummie* n i also got wonton noodle soup. eh..there wasnt much taste to the wonton noodle thing but like it kept meeh full. bai the time i got home it was already like 6:30. times flies bai soooo fast when ur not sittin and stairin at the computer moniter.
o1.29.o3 l 9:50pm
ahHh..stupid class ring came todai n i didnt finish payin for it yet. i still owe them like close to 3 bills >.< that one hella expensive ring. i finailly developed mai winterball pictures todai. i think i like the 39 exposure camera better then regular camera. the picutres came out nice especially the ones that i took of diana durin the slow dance songs. her canded camera pic are sooooo funnie =) imma scan it later and post it in mai journal. imma gettin better at jus takin the pic without lookin through the window and still get the whole face in the center of the picture. orchestra was boring, as always, but we go to disneyland in like bout three weeks. the day rite before sweethearts, imma gonna be so tired.
01.28.03 l 9:43pm
yeey more pplz turnin 18!! i didnt get to punch u 18 times todai >.<
didnt do much todai. as of todai i am not VP of Hours ne more. thankgod! that was a horrible position for someone who doesnt like math..even simple math ish horrible. humm..fell asleep readin Beowulf. sleep was very refreshin but now i am sleepie again. imma goin to swthearts =)
01.27.03 l 9:46pm
campus installs todai at Claim Jumpers. omg..imma soo full rite now >.< ate tooh much. lets see i slpit buffalo chicken wings n honey chicken sandwich with lisa and for dessert i got banana custard shortbread. mai total came out to be 21$. so expernsive. thankie kenn for the mashi maro!!!! best sk present ive gotten in all four years. ne ways congrads to all the new officers..yeey, i get to go inactive now =)
2003 Spring Officers
President- Ling Huynh
Vp of Hours - Matthew Cho
Vp of Activities - Jenny Huynh
Secretaray- Angel K
Treasurer- Janey Yu
Social Chair - TBA
Historian -Angel Thieu
Sargent @ Arms - Jasper
Arts Chair - Julie Guan
Chaplin - Linh Ta
SPU - Linda Hang & Jasper G.
01.26.03 l 6:22pm
mai coursage ish dead >.< damn eh..i cant dry flowers for nething.. i think imma the onli idiot in this world to leave the coursage in the box. R.I.P 1.11 to 1.26
i went drivin todai with mai dad. didnt hit nething. i can somewhat reverse and park in the slots =)
01.25.03 l 11:25pm
i cant believe i woke up at like 3:30 pm todai. if i didnt check the time on mai phone i would still be sleepin. i pratically made up for all the lost sleep this past week. ever since i was awake i was at lisa q hosue. we jus kept talkin and talkin. meeh and cynthia kept saiin the same thing at the same time...scarie. came home round 11 n ate crab for dinner..i smell like crab now >.<
01.25.03 l 1:43am
*sigh* why wont mai brain stop thinkin........
"a smiling face doesn't always mean a smiling heart"
01.24.03 l 11:53pm
it was such a waste of time to go to school this mornin. i cant believe the stupid dance pictures are still not here >.< afterskool went to kick it at tapoica express for a while and then went to noodle city with people. 'goi coun' ish yummie =) after that all of us went to kick it at karls house. there was sooo mani people there. pictionary ish sooo fun..damn people kept makin fun of mai monkey. thankie lil john and karl for the ice cream =D there was so mani of us that the driver hab to take two trips to get all of us to ABC..some San Gabriel club was habing bowling funraiser. instead of bowlin we went to shoot pool at safari. it was meeh and karl against diana and khon. omg, i almost got hit bai a flyin striped red pool ball >.< it was sooo scarie..
01.23.03 l 11:46pm
finals are finally over!!! =D this week passed by so fast. ack..when someone sai they are goin to met u up there, jus stay there. i spent like 15 min walkin round skool lookin for diana cuz i didnt wait at the activities office. went to eat at noodle plant with diana, khon, lisa q, and lisa w. spicy chicken spagettie ish not bad but i like the sea food one better. after were done eattin we met up with lil john, j'than, n andy and went to kick it at karls house. we were so bored that we started to play pictionary. it was soo funnie. i cant believe mai group guessed "crash-land" but not "humpty-dumpty" ish mai drawing that bad? ish an egg sittin on the wall hoz hard ish that. pplz especially *ahem* kept pickin on meeh. since when ish the rule pickin on the smallest one ne ways. attempted to learn the orchesis routine but there was sooo mani moves. round nine i realize that i gots to finish the total hours for semester service hours. stupid numbers, i cant even do simple math >.<
01.22.03 l 5:17pm
i cant seem to talk to them. i feel insulted. it irritates me..
01.21.03 l 10:39pm
jus thinkin bout it i realize that i habent learned nething from mai mistakes. seein and hearin wht people go through jus makes meeh think bout maiself. i hope ish not tooh late to realize that imma not ready for relationship or nething that has to do with it. i need time to figure out maiself before i can figure out someone else..
01.20.03 l 10:10pm
didnt do much todai. jus sat at home and attempted to study for enviro final tomrrow. mai brain didnt remba a thing i read todai. went with mai sis to the mall for a lil while. i wanted to buy jeans but i ended up gettin another knit sweater.
things should be gettin better from now on. now that all of this ish reality, i jus gots to accept it n live with it. mood as of it now: =D
01.19.03 l 10:36pm feels like imma walkin in the rain...
pathetic attempted to do the trig/pre cal review sheet todai at diana house. we gab up after like 20 problems. i feel so stupid, i cant even solve problems that has to do with chapter one..i hab a feelin i am goin to bomb the trig final. we decided to bus it to paseo instead of finishin the rest of the problems. the burgers at island are sooo huge. i love the hawaiian burger. freakin diana eh she wanted to use her ass to hit the cross walk button. she was jumpin up and down seein if she can hit it but then she ended up moonin the cars..it was funnie. we descovered a new plaza in old town besides the paseo. that place ish nice they even got the amc 8 in there. gotta go bak there next time. the freakin bus took forever to come, we sat out there for like bout an hour. there were buses comin north but none of them were goin south. i manage to get bak to alhambra in time before mai dad came to pick meeh up.
will thing ever get better. i cant jus think bout maiself. *sigh* i feel selfish..
01.18.03l 10:48am
i hab like mutiple dreams last nite bout so many things. ish kinda scarie to think that i might of jus pushed the feelin away, i realli want it to go away. feels so blahs rite now.. i want to go out todai dont want to stay home. ne one want to go kick it? *sigh* i hab a feelin imma be at home all day todai. i feel so pesistmistic..
9:22pm
i got dropped off at the library todai and jus started wandering. it was soo freakin hot todai, i dont kno i couldnt stand stayin home, i rather walk round bai maiself. at the end i ended up at petsmart. the hamsters were sooo cute!! i wanted to get one but the freakin cages cost like 30$ o.O there was soo much stuffed animals at toys r us. i looked kinda stupid tho. i was standin at the stuffed aniaml section and jus texting j'than. i was walkin round the store lookin at mai phone. good thing i didnt run into nething. after that called lisa and went to watch maid in manhatten. the movie was alrite, it wasnt as good as i thought it was goin to be. imma so tired from walkin, i cant feel mai leg ne more. blah..imma done up dating and imma still bored -_-'
10:45pm
i found this definition of emotional break down:
It's all inside you, you keep it to yourself never to share with the world. You try to protect it, to protect yourself but they wont have it they want it the need it released for there own twisted reasons but you bury it deeper.
You bury it so deep within you that you forget it's there, so much gets so buried intertwining with each other that you get to a point that you dont know how to show it the world see's it and it drives them to an insane quest to pull it out but you dont give in you continue towards lonliness.
Then for some reason you see hear or even smell something and you just explode your body starts to shake, your breathing becomes hard your eyes get out of focus you cannot regain your though you have totally lost it, tears start to form so much is going through your head, your body.
You cannot explain where it came from or what it is but it's there it's apart of you that you have never seen before. Then anger finally comes for losing all control to let out that you have tried so hard to keep away......everything you were is no more..
01.17.03 l 11:40pm
omg, the freakin fridge that mai mom jus bought ish freakin 8 bills!!! u kno wht i can do with 8 bills..that thing ish hella expensive!!! i thought it was onli like 2-3 bills..freakin hell..damn appliance..
didnt do much todai. kicked it with diana at juice it up afterskool. there was alot of catchin up to do for the both of us. i love tourturing her ^__^ . that wht u get for all those other times..sweet revenge ish soo kool. afterwards wandered to lisa quachs house. it took meeh like 25 min to walk from valley to her house..sheeh...that was such a freakin long walk. stayed there and talked for a long while. blah..we were suppose to go watch just married but then we missed the eight o clock show. we jus decided to go kick it somewhere, went to tapoic express. it was soo retareded we went to Quickly to get boba and then walked to tapoica express to get popcorn chicken. we were so loud that guy looked like he wanted to kick us out =X but it was fun tho even though i didnt kno half the people they were talkin bout..at the end we went bak to the parkin lot and made people dance. blah, i jus drank like 3 bowls of soup..feel so werid..
01.16.03 l 11:59pm
mai hand hurts!! freakin vocab..spent like 3 hours ritin out 150 words plus sentences. i cant hold a pen ne more. i hate trig!! who invented trig ne ways..ish not even math ne more..finailly ish friday but i dont want it to come..i tried to avoid it was much as possible, i tried to supress the feelin but if it really happens i dont kno if i can take it. blah, i would not hab a reason why i do feel this way..bein meeh sux -_-'
01.15.03 l 11:33pm
mai hand ish so tired from copyin those freakin vocab for english and govt. argh..so much work but ish worth sooooo lesss...blah...went to cold stones to get ice cream todai with j'than..haha..ish soo funnie..i learned that not eatin enough green veggies makes a person confused. sat there and talked for like two hours. his family populates like half the world..i wouldnt be surprised if i am related to him in ne way cuz we got relatives in the same area around the world. i cant believe he sat through like almost two hours of orchestra. i wouldnt of fallen asleep if i wasnt playin the violin...i gib him probs for stayin awake durin orchestra when he didnt sleep the nite before..so sleepie now but dont feel like sleepin.
blah...why wont this feelin go away.. *sigh* forget forget forget!!!!
01.14.03 l 9:25pm
nothing much happened lately, excpet jus finishin all the projects >.< i tried to rite a poem for j'than cuz he wanted one to put on his site. i titled it friendship but everything i worte hab nothing to do with firnedship. it came out so sad..ill rite u another one next time when i can think of frienship things to rite bout..
to some pplz out there, jus be happie with who u hab. stop tryin to test them and complain bout them. they wont be with u if they dont hab feelin for u...
01.12.03 l 7:07pm
it was so hard to sleep last nite. i didnt even want to sleep. the headache was killin meeh. *sigh* i couldnt stop thinkin either. one things leads to another, ish so hard not to think when everthing around u ish silecne. this ish prob the cause why ive been habin trouble sleepin lately. i never realize the fact that i fell again..i plan to forget...
finding maiself once again in an awkard position
only to kno wht i want will never go through
realized ish better to forget now before ish tooh late
giving it time to fade away, far far away..
eventually i will foget the tiny bits of feelins but it will be
tormenting meeh every step of the way
the mani thoughts that filled mai mind
it ish so hard to control mai mind..mai heart
inside mai heart i jus doesnt want to gib in but there ish
nothing i can do, that can ever change the truth
getting on with mai life, forgettin the feelin i hab for u
yesterdai tears filled mai heart, it cried out in pain
over and over again..i ask maiself why..
u are the onli thought that fill mai mind though out the nite
01.12.03l 2:16am
winterball was fun dispite the fact i was runnin round a headless chicken the whole mornin tryin to get the last min winterball stuff. sorrie justin for makin u wait while i took pictures. didnt get to dance much but it was fun gettin to kno pplz a lot better. i habent talked bout this kinda stuff forso much in a long time..ish surprisin wht pplz kno. i realli wanna kno hoz pplz kno when u think ur positive that ur the onli one that knos it. winterball wasnt wht i thought it was goin to be. i took soo mani pic. couple and three group pix. after that went to eat at norms. so many laughs..ish so hard to trust actors..hehe..i dont feel like sleepin..i want to go up in the mountains and look at stars..
everyday i find more reasons not to believe in love. who can find the missin piece of puzzle to put me bak together....
01.8.03 l 5:49pm
evertyhing ish a hassle..i hate this -_-
11:33pm
orchestra was okie...two hours went bai pretty fast. rite when i got home freakin diana called meeh to go kick it at her house. soooo much laughs at her house. dude, someone realli needs to get her a stray jacket. she looks like an insane luaghin nut runnin loose on the streets. we were kinda loiterin on the second floor parkin lot after we got boba. khon tried to throw meeh off the second floor. meeh and diana jus kept chasin each other round the parkin lot. u can see the stars pretty clear from up there. i wanna go up to the mountains and look at stars rite now. if onli mai freakin parents dont call meeh 24/7. oh wellz..ne ways diana and her werid toilet friends. ill leave it at that. humm..two more days till winterball...
01.05.03 l10:17pm
so sad todai ish the last day of break. didnt do much todai. went with pplz to go order the coursage and the boutiner (i think that ish hoz u spell it) there was sooo mani kinds to choose from, i didnt kno which one to get. blah, hope the one that i choose looks nice. i cant wait till winterball =)
azn pplz talk on a on an on bout the same thing. that lady at the flower shop was talkin to meeh cuz i was the onli one left. i was waitin for the guys to come bak cuz they went to conroys to check the price. well i guess the corusage ish worth it even tho it ish like $37. sorrie justin for pickin such a expensive combination.
after the that went to tapoic express with khon then dianas house. it was soo funnie. i told her mai sis was takin meeh to her house and she onli expected one person. she was in the shower so when we got there, khon hide behind the door and i aimed this shootin missle thing at her. when she walked in i shot the missles and khon scared the crap out of her that was sooo funnie. should of been there to see it. next time imma goin to bring a camaorder where ever i go. dont u jus love us diana.. =P we were goin to throw diana into a trash can but then i ended up lockin her and khon outsider her house. at first i was messin with them and lockin the door but when i went bak into her room,i thought i unlocked the door. the whole time i was waitin for them to come in and the whole time they were waitin for meeh to open the door. that idiot, they were onli a knock away from gettin bak into the house. i coudlnt stop laughin after that. ice cream ish good but not cookie dough. it tasted prettty bad. i thought the chocolat chip were like some kinda nut. i dont kno it was pretty hard and i didnt even taste chocolate in it. blah,i think i got like a couple of more brusies on mai leg thanks to diana. she freakin kicks hard..i would of stayed longer but mai ride came to pick meeh up out of no where. imma so used to sleepin in, i dont kno if i can wake up tom for first period. damn first period, why do i gots to hab first period for -_-
01.04.03 l 8:54pm
i spent like 10 hours todai workin on the campus year book page. i guess ish alrite considerin the fact that i dont kno hoz to use adobe, infact i HATE adobe photoshop. basically sat infront of the freakin computer the whole day, orangzing and resizing pictures the whole day. i habent been online for this long, thankie mR for keepin meeh company while i worked on the page. i guess if ne campus members wanna see it click on this link: www.geocities.com/lil_silerz_gyrl/again.jpg
01.03.03
freakin adobe ish pistin meeh off. i got the directions to do aline the pictures but i cant do it rite. argh!!!! ne ways, went to santa anita mall todai with khon and diana. we were onli shoppin for dresses, poor khon..he wouldnt try on ne of the dress there -_- but diana was a lil bit more corporative. stwarerry lemonade ish soooo good!! i cant believe they actually had almond pretzel waitin to be bought. usually u gots to wait like 15 min for them. i didnt want to buy one but it was soo tempting. i still couldnt find mai purse..let see i hab like bout five days to find one. after that went to star buck. i was fallin asleep which khon and diana kept flickin each other. damn eh they went on for like bout an hr. if vickie didnt start cryin they would of went on for hours. a handpacked pint of french vanilla ish soo yummie!! forget bout chocolate ish all bout french vanilla..
01.02.03 l 11:33pm
the new yr started out pretty well. went to di's restuarnt and managed to come up with like ten or so hours of conversation. i cant believe i went on and on and on. good thing she wasnt actin like a wall or else i would be forced to kick her =) mongolian beef was yummie, orange chicken ish good but then the dish has such a bad name >=) hahaha i felt kinda useless the whole day cuz i jus sat there and ate the whole day. ten hours went bai pretty fast. on the way bak there was soo mani of those big riggs on the 710 freeway. i habent seen that much big riggs at one place at the same time. one of them said "overnight, were are there to make [something] happie". i thought all of them were goin to the same area. it would be scarie to drive between them -_- durin the traffic jam, cuz they closed off one freakin lane, there were like cars cuttin across the area where it separates the lanes and like cops changin lanes without signaling..accidents are scarie..
01.01.03 l 11:53pm
