| Lik-See's website |
| Links: (websites I enjoy, nothing really to do with the monthly topics) |
| http://www.howstuffworks.com/ This is an interesting website where you can have fun educating yourself�good website too if you have absolutely nothing to do but want to learn something useful. |
| http://www.bahiker.com/ Excellent website about where to hike around the San Francisco Bay Area. Great description of trails and plenty of pictures. |
| If you have any comments, suggestions, thoughts, etc. about this website, please email me at [email protected] Thank you! |
| http://news.bbc.co.uk/ Good website to news events in different parts of the world. |
| How are you doing? Thanks for checking my website, as I continue sharing thoughts on last month's and this month's topic of why it's so hard to admit wrong. For last month's website, click here. Lik-See, 03-09-04 Last month, I asked the question of why the defense mechanism to avoid admitting wrong is so ingrained in each of us. Another way of asking it is what do we gain or think we gain by running from and even defending the things that we do wrong? -Maybe, it's because many if not all of us in varying degrees live with the premise that people accept you only if you have good qualties that they are attracted to. This (correct or incorrect?) thinking is probably confirmed many times over when people - even those who you thought were your friends - find something not-so-good about you, and fade out of your life. Since the desire to be liked and affirmed in life is pretty huge, and we think it's based on people being attracted to our good qualities, why bring it out in the open and admit to things about us that's bad? -But maybe there's a deeper reason to why it's so hard admitting wrong, since many do find acceptance from others even when their wrongs are known (marriage seems like an example of this, at least the stable, healthy ones). Also, we are still defensive (self-justifying) even when no one's around cross-examining us. I wonder if admitting wrong is so hard because many of us feel that our wrongs are based on something about us that we feel we can't change, if we thought long and hard about it. It's especially hard when you realize changing yourself is not just about wrong action and behavior but wrong desires. How do you change your desires? If you feel you can't change, it's much better to cut off the path of correcting yourself by just saying that you don't have anything that needs to be corrected (at least in your mind and actions), even if evidence indicates otherwise. This seems to tie in to a big desire in life, basically to avoid doing or pursuing things that appear to have a 0% chance of success...especially when it has to do with the deep, personal stuff swirling in our hearts. |
| WHY THIS WEBSITE EXISTS: To share and stimulate thought and insight on life issues we can relate to. |
| Hard but sometimes the only thing left to say is, " Yeah, I was wrong" |
| Quotes: How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct. -- Benjamin Disraeli If you are not big enough to stand criticism, you are too small to be praised. -- Author Unknown Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened. -- Winston Churchill Admitting errors clears the score and proves you wiser than before. -- Arthur Guiterman The purpose of quotes on this website is to provoke thought and may or may not be an endorsement of the person being quoted and his or her beliefs. |
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| Question of the month (from February): What factor makes you the most defensive or unwilling to admit when you've done something wrong? If I admit that I'm wrong, then: a) People I like or want to like me will look down on me. b) I will feel bad or worse about myself, if my faults and weaknesses get out in the open. c) I'll come across as weak, not strong. People out there are just ready to make you look stupid and foolish for being weak. d) I can't change who I am, even if I am wrong, so what's the point of admitting it? It'll just depress me and give me an unnecessary guilt trip. e) I feel that people in general don't accept me if they know my faults and weaknesses. f) Other factors |
| General Note: just to let you know, I update this website with a new topic around the beginning of each month.. |
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| LSC's basement: For this month, here's another one of my favorites - I really like the movie: The Trip to Bountiful (1985). I indicated last month that I would start a page, listing my pet peeves on a continual basis. Well, instead of doing that, I'm doing the opposite, which is a list of my ANTI-PET PEEVES, basically things I like. Click here to check it out. |
| http://photosbymartin.com/index.htm This website contains beautiful pictures of different places in the world. |
| You know you hate to admit when you're wrong when: 1) you enjoy and spend too much time criticizing and complaining about other people's faults. 2) you respond to someone who points out your wrong behavior or action with extreme silence or extreme shouting. 3) you defend yourself by lying. 4) you defend yourself by lying and don't care that you lied. 5) you joke around too much because you hate to deal with serious issues, i.e., admitting and correcting your faults and wrong. 6) you become the master of changing the subject. 7) your closest friends are those who are most like you. 8) you're the one responsible for making most of your conversations become argumentative. 9) more than one person can't make sense of your justification for doing certain things. 10) you play the victim, instead of taking responsibility for your actions. |
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| ARCHIVES: for website topics from previous months, click here. |