Our social director always knows (better than you do) what you should do with your time.

It's better not to disagree.

Social Director's newsletter archive:

25 July 2001 (Wet & Wild Rafting review)

1 August 2001 (Wild rumors about LIFE!)

14 August 2001

LIFE! Group Women (and Bryan)!

How's your Summer going? I hope things are going good! Before I get into upcoming events for August and September, I would like to share with you a very terrifying, but important story. There's a lesson or two to be learned here...

WARNING!: The following story may not be suitable for some women, and all gay men. It contains graphic detail and scary stuff ....

It was a Saturday morning ... not much different from other Saturday mornings. I had arrived early at Starbucks to beat the line of women who would be doing the official "Meet and Greet" ... you know, answer an ad, talk on phone, meet for coffee ... I had settled in with the Post and was watching the line form ... nervous women .... trying not to get caught eyeing each other up ... all doing their best to seem calm and cool .... Couples had already started to take tables, you could hear the murmur of conversation everywhere ... when out of the blue, there was a shout: "Oh my gawd, no! IT CAN'T BE!"  A woman had jumped up from her chair, knocking it over, and was shouting at her companion.  "NO!  NO! NO!"She turned in my direction and it was [name withheld] 'Gal,' a very good friend of mine. She stumbled over to me, muttering incoherently.

I jumped up, "Gal, what is it!"

"Laura, I can't believe it, look, LOOK!" She handed me her copy of the "Official Lesbian Handbook." It was a new edition. I looked at what she pointing to ... and to my horror, I saw...... "Upon meeting your companion for coffee <then you turned a page>, you go to your neighbor U-Haul dealer and rent a truck. Ask for a repeat discount!"

I couldn't believe it!  MEETING FOR COFFEE NOW MEANT YOU WERE MATED! Oh my gawd! What happened to dating, background checks, mutual interests .... gone, all gone .... I hadn't realized that I had spoken aloud, and when I looked around, I could see women becoming anxious, standing and shuffling. A bull dyke was sitting in the corner, whimpering.

"Everyone remain calm! Don't anybody panic! NOBODY TOUCH NOBODY!"  I then told the the bull dyke to be strong (aren't they the ones to always crash and burn first.... yeah!).

I looked at the pages, yeah there it was: 'drive yourself' ... 'order a SMALL coffee' ... blah, blah, blah ... THEN! I flipped the page and saw, 'rent a U-Haul.'

"HEY, the pages are stuck together!" I screamed out.

Yep, it was true, I turned to Gal, "I bet you had whipped cream on your frappucino, didn't you?"  She numbly nodded.

"Women! It's okay! The rule book hasn't changed ... DATING IS STILL IN! Now return to your 'Meet and Greets' ... and have a nice day!"

The cheers rang out ... it was better than the ending of a Disney movie ... I sashayed over to my table, and gathered up my things ... my work here was done...and happiness and harmony returned to Lesbian Land ... all was well again....

~ THE END ~

Whoa! Was that scary or what?! Women, remember: ... DATING IS IN! It's all the rage! Helpful hint: skip the whipped cream on your drink ... save it for later <wink>.

Okay, here's upcoming, new events:

August 17th, Friday: Annapolis Cinema Grill (Annapolis).
We're going to be trying for the 8:00 or 9:30 (instead of the 6:00) showing so more women can join in. Unfortunately, ACG doesn't post its Friday movies till Friday morning. So, check your email Friday morning for details and directions, or check our calendar details.

August 17 & 18, Friday and Saturday (Baltimore): "The Man Who Came to Dinner" (play) At John Hopkins University. 8 pm.
Our member, Diane S. is in the play. Break a leg, Diane! See website for details.

August 22th, Wednesday, 8:00 pm(Bethesda): Movie Night: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Women and chocolate, yum! See details and/or contact Elizabeth for more information.

September 22, Saturday: LIFE! Group's First Anniversary Party and Charity Fund Raiser (Location TBA)! 
THE event of THE year!  DON'T miss this event! We will be inviting 4 other women's groups!  WE NEED ALL KINDS OF VOLUNTEERS AND RAFFLE ITEM DONATIONS! Check out the details.  Quick responses are HIGHLY appreciated. Don't wait till the last minute. Let me know now!!!) 

Special note: A big warm and sincere, "Thank You" to Lori and Kristine for last Friday night BBQ. It was a great time had by all, new faces meeting regular members, lots of bonding! A wonderful evening! Again, thanks gals!

Well, that's it for now.  One last word, if you want to really meet women, rub elbows and bond, be in on the "beyond the scenes" crew for our Big Birthday Bash! Volunteer to help staff booths, etc. for the upcoming Anniversary Party/Charity Event! (Plus, you get free admission/food for just a few hours work!)

Routinely check out the website for continuous updates on events, last-minute things to do, etc. Look at the calendar and bulletin board this info.

Take care,

Laura