Dr. Laura asks:

How many times have you dated more than one woman at a time?

ongoing polls

Dr. Laura is here to answer many of life's persistent questions.

For instance:

Where is Ms. Right?

Why is her line always busy?

Why does she pull the blinds when I drive by every night?

And a lot of stuff like that.

Dr. Laura's back files:

7/25/01
8/7/01

9/24/01

Dr. Laura continues her efforts to educate and enlighten lesbians on their culture and dating and mating rituals. As always, please consider the following information a supplement to your Official Lesbian Manual.

We are pleased to announce that Dr. Laura is in the process of updating and revising her acclaimed handbook, the Official Lesbian Manual! Her new tome will be entitled Lesbians Are Us, a lesbian guide for beginners. Now and then, we will interrupt Dr. Laura’s regular column to bring you snippets from her upcoming book.

Here is an excerpt:

Dear Dr. Laura,
I am so confused by all the labels for lesbians…how do they apply…would you please clarify them for me? Tag Babe

Dear Hon,
No problem. But remember that we are dealing with women. They hate labels, refuse to follow rules, and love to confuse people.

Basically, there are three categories of lesbians, with a lot of subcategories for each category. I will just deal with the basic three:

femme
soft butch
butch

How to tell the three kinds of lesbians apart?

Exercise: Walk into a room full of lesbians and throw a VCR operating manual into the center of floor.

• All women running away from it will be femmes.
• All women standing and staring at it will be soft butches.
• All women diving for it will be butches.

One hour later:

• All women saying the butches did it wrong will be femmes.
• All women arguing back at the femmes will be butches.
• All women trying to figure out what the butches did wrong will be soft butches.

The three categories of lesbians have three basic “looks”:

Femmes look like feminine, straight women. Most wear make-up.

Soft butches look sporty, tomboyish, or androgynous, and may wear earrings, but rarely, if ever, wear makeup. They do wear Chapstick. (Not to be confused with non-feminine straight women from Maine, the Mid-West, and hippy colonies on the West Coast.)

Butches look like the wives of Russian beet farmers or, alternately, like a male member of your family.

Look for our next excerpt from Dr. Laura’s book, which will explain lesbian dating rituals!