~*~ Chapter 68 ~*~
NEW YORK CITY, NY – TOM’S LOFT – APR.12th, 2002 – FRIDAY
“I’m sorry, Kirstin, but this time, it’s gonna cost you much more than that.” Ashley informed Kirstin.
“I…” Kirstin didn’t know what to do with Ashley’s answer “What do you mean?” she asked, frowning.
“Kirstin…” Ashley looked deeply into her eyes “I don’t think it’s gonna be that easy for me to forgive you this time. I’m tired of playing dumb. If this was the first time you were hurting me for cheating on me…”
“But I didn’t cheat on…” Kirstin interrupted Ashley.
“I’m not asking to hear your side of the story. I don’t wanna hear that. I’m not here for this. Let me do the talking here.” Ashley cut her off kind of rudely, making Kirstin speechless “I don’t care if you don’t consider kissing another person cheating, but according to my standards, it is.”
“But it wasn’t technically a kiss!” Kirstin defended herself.
“I don’t care what you think. All I know is that your lips touched his. That’s all I need to know, because that’s enough of a kiss to me.” Kirstin was once again silenced by Ashley’s rudeness, so he continued “I even lost track of what I was saying…” Ashley thought for a second and carried on “As I was saying, this wasn’t the first time you hurt me by cheating on me. I think it was like… the third or the fourth time. As a human being, with feelings, you just give up hope after a certain amount of times. And I was thinking about it all this time, and I think I have reached that level where I just gave up on you.”
“Ash, please, don’t say that. You can’t. Ash, I…” Kirstin couldn’t believe her ears. Now she couldn’t keep the tears up anymore. She was sobbing as Ashley kept cool.
“Can I finish, please?” Ashley said seriously and Kirstin nodded, wiping the tears away from her face “I just gave up hope. I don’t think I can trust you anymore. And I don’t think there’s relationship without trust.”
“Ash, please, you don’t mean that.” Kirstin started, but once again, got cut off by Ashley.
“I know what I mean. And I wanna finish this talk; so, can you please let me do that?” Ashley asked and Kirstin nodded, still with tears rolling down her face “So…” Ashley took a deep breath “I thought really, really hard about it. All day long and all night long I thought about it. I’ve missed you. A lot. I wanted to have you back so badly.” Kirstin was starting to smile “But at the same time, I didn’t want the hurt I was feeling to come back. I can’t feel this hurt anymore, Kirstin. It’s killing me little by little and if I ever go through that again, I know I won’t be able to handle it. I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me, but I know I won’t be able to handle it well. So…” Ashley took another deep breath as Kirstin’s smile disappeared from her face again.
“Can I just talk now, please?” Kirstin said.
“I wanna finish it.” Ashley answered.
“But I just gotta say something. I promise it will be quick.”
“Go ahead.” Ashley informed, not too happy about it.
“Ashley… you know I love you more than anything else in my life. I just talked to Tom about this whole situation and he said I should get some help from a professional. A psychiatrist or something. Because, clearly, I have problems keeping a relationship. But there’s no one else in this world I wanna have a relationship more than with you, Ash. You’re the one I love and you’re the one I’m supposed to love. I’m seriously starting to believe that I was put in this world to love you and nothing else but that. That’s my destiny. It doesn’t matter if I’m with you or not, my destiny will always be to love you, it will never change. I know that for a fact. So, if you agree to forgive me, you must know that I’m really willing to give everything and anything for our relationship to work from now on. I’ll do my best and I swear to God I’ll never hurt you anymore like I’ve hurt you before.” Kirstin’s tears were flooding, so she took a deep breath and carried on “So… whatever it is that you decide, it’s really up to you. Whatever you say, it is fine with me. But… Just say it. I can’t take this anymore. Just say if you forgive me or not. Because I’m dying here.” Kirstin wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath, preparing to hear Ashley’s answer.
* Thanx Shauna for reviewing and correcting the grammar errors *
~*~ Chapter 67 ~*~
~*~ Chapter 69 ~*~
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