Posted by Friend [Friend] on March 27, 1999 at 20:17:52 {OgnjR4Br/gmXxUMMyRccMWUagf9NbHbU2}:
Today my quite elderly father told me a joke about an man who was certain he would be late for his golf outing with the boys.
My father and I know one another quite well and have an excellent relationship. Nevertheless, each time he starts telling a joke that�s a little on the crude side he always starts the same way, he says, "I probably shouldn�t tell this joke but because it�s you I�ll go ahead anyway." In reply I always say the same thing, Can I repeat this to my golf partners? Usually he tells me that that�s where he got the joke from in the first place.
Anyway, he went on telling me this joke that was quite funny but nevertheless somewhat crude.
Why am I relating this little experience? The H2O forum has rules of conduct that we all promise to abide by when we participate. However, I contend that those type rules cannot be enforced with an iron fist. Instead, they should be enforced based upon what we each know about one another and this forum together with an unselfish sense of decency, just like my father�s telling of that crude joke to me. He knew it likely would not offend me, so he told it and I�m glad he did. We enjoyed the humor together. On the other hand, had he told that same joke in a different setting, a mixed one, I could have been upset because likely some would not have understood the humor instead focusing on the crudeness and people would have been offended.
That last idea about an unselfish sense of decency has to do with being willing to forgo our own cultural standards when it is likely to offend others. The H2O forum has people posting from different cultural and social backgrounds. What offends me may not offend someone else and vice versa. I believe these differences are the main reason that H2O has it�s Forum Participation Policy. That FPP provides the basis for unselfish decency because it describes what is acceptable on this board regardless of our individual cultural or social upbringing.
Several have commented that this forum is becoming like a Kingdom Hall setting or that it is becoming stagnant. I disagree with those estimations. If you check what is on the board you will see a mixed bag of threads on several different topics wherein can be found comments critical of the WTS. On the other hand, there is somewhat of a correction in progress on this board. By correction I mean like that experienced in financial markets. Sometimes financial markets get inflated and there is an adjustment back to reality. Well, IMO, a similar thing is happening on the main board of H2O. Recently it appears that there is an effort to make participants present themselves in a more civilized manner, one in line with H2O�s FPP.
I think the real question is this: Will we as individuals agree to follow the standard of conduct required by H2O meaning that we can respectfully disagree and/or criticize? Or, will we whine that we are not totally unfettered to manifest our own personal manner of disagreement or criticism, regardless of how it may affect others?
I have not seen any moderator take the position that well thought out disagreement or criticism against the WTS should be removed. In fact, I believe those type posts remain as a testimony to what I�ve stated herein.
On the other hand, there is, IMO, a need for moderators to exercise a bit more tolerance toward individual manner of expression. For example, Doug would not be Doug if we didn�t let him express just a bit of his rough edges. I recommend that moderators do just what my father did with me, check the current climate and proceed with caution, keeping in mind who you are talking to. Remember, this is a public forum. I can tell you this, if my mother had heard that joke from the other room she would surely have given my dad an earful (and me to for listening). I can also tell you what he would have said in return, "I know, I�m sorry." Can�t we all behave with such civility?
A dear friend has a saying that he really likes, he says, "Even moderation should be done in moderation." I think that everyone using this board should do likewise, posters and moderators alike.
I contend that H2O remains an excellent site for discussion and debate. Additionally, I contend that this open forum has a positive impact upon JWs, exJWs and others interested in JWs. I could tell you that I know that as a fact, but presently I cannot publicly explain just how I know that, that is, beyond the positive effects we all are aware of.
Unlike other sites, H2O does allow open debate of JW ideas as long as it is done with civility. If what I say is true, then, why is anyone complaining? If they have something they need to say, say it, courteously.
Friend