websites: I have one, you don't

Why are you still reading this, the good stuff is below. Also Mark's phone number is on the website a couple times. Try to find all the instances of it.

Mark also smells and suffers from three kinds of intestinal worms. Tim and Nick are in the band or something too.

For those of you who think that wearing the Steelers hat is indicative of anything other than looking stupid, you are stupid.

Mark Laughlin - Loser. Big Fat Loser. The only Steelers fan.

Mark's amp - What the fuck do you want me to say? It's a fucking amp and that's it. A red light is also included, it shall be broken. In spite of this vast amount of suckiness from the amp, it is without a doubt a more integral part of the band than Mark. We can replace Mark for free while a new amp would cost a couple hundred bucks. You wanna see it? You can see it by clicking right here. Mark sucks.

Steve Drake - You want to know who Steve Drake is? If you think you can handle it, then find out here. Browns fan.

Tim Cooper - I've said it before and I'll say it again, Tim is useless. I don't use the term "expendable" lightly, but I think it's quite appropriate for Tim as it also is for Scott. Mark can also be described as expendable. About the best thing I can say about Tim is that he does not practice the Trained Monkey style of playing. While he does actually learn songs, they are not usually the ones we are actually playing. Oh well. He's a piece of shit. Bengals fan.

Nick Wright - I don't know Nick very well yet, so I'll refrain from trashing him completely. He is, however, from the wrong side of Cleveland and an attendee of the shittiest high school in Cuyahoga county, so that's two strikes right there. You better watch yourself Wright, one more slip up and you're out like Laughlin in dodgeball.

Deceased Members:

Scott Ingraham - Scott has been detained following his involvement in an attempted armed robbery, we expect that he will be out in time for our huge fall tour. In the event that he is unavoidably detained we will move on without a second thought. If I were to describe Scott in one word: Expendable. (You know I'm just kidding Scott, I still love you.) (Touch me.)