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| Latest News | ||||||||||||||
| The leopards have fallen to their 4th defeat in a row. Paddy Inglis' head is now in great danger, with the Chairman's dreaded voice confidence having been announced a week a go, time is running out. | ||||||||||||||
| The leopards fell to their 3rd defeat in a row, as calls for the manager's head came. The big summer signings have just not paid dividends, and the end could be nigh for Mr. Inglis. The club are thought to be scouring Europe for a new coach | ||||||||||||||
| Skipper Paddy Inglis reacted scathingly to reports last night that several Leopards were in hospital last night with food poisoning after eating Nick VDA's 'Iles Flottantes' (tr. floating islands). "It's completely unprofessional", stormed Inglis, "We all know the dangers of Nick's floaters. I only eat at KP in the close season." An unnamed Stevo commented "Bleeuch". | ||||||||||||||
| Steve Brooke has issued a dramatic warning to all youngsters wanting to make a career out of professional football: Don't make the mistakes i made. In a frank interview in the website to promote his new autobiography,'walking, not running,' Steve admits that he nearly wasted his prodigious talent(s). Steve, who is comfortable standing on either foot, remarked, 'when i was young, walking jsut came naturally to me. I just got carrried away in all the attention-the booze, the drugs, and of course the women.'Steve, who has rumoured to have met 100's of women, has agreed to star in a film of his life, but has modestly insisted it will only be a walk-on part. | ||||||||||||||
| Captain Patrick Inglis has taken on a new role within the Thames football league. Reports at the moment are sketchy, but it is thought to be involve a committee in to referees. Mr Inglis has been asked to comment, but refuses to do so. He is thought to be furious at the report being leaked. I don't think we have seen the end of this matter. | ||||||||||||||
| The london insurance market suffered a severe downward correction yesterday with the news that swinger Swayne has purchased Piaggio scooter. One leading insurance expert remarked, 'The event has put an immense strain on the market, -he's just uninsurable. We were quite prepared to insure the Titanic, but this is just a disaster waiting to happen.' Meanwhile fellow leopards expressed concern saying, 'Les has been a well-balanced indivdual, but this could tip him over the edge.' | ||||||||||||||
| Ed Fenn-Smith, in an extraordinary act of genrosity, has offered to take over the running of all the youth teams. His new post of head of youth development normally only deals with the under 15 teams and above. But Ed was determind that under 5 year olds also need a lot of attention and he simply wouldn't take no for an answer | ||||||||||||||
| The first match of the new season resulted with a six nil thrashing of Coddenham. | ||||||||||||||
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