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| Sent anonymously by Dan G What game was Nick playing in to write the last match report. I ask him if he beat the back 5 so many times for pace (which I know it is stating the obvious - he did not) how come he failed to land one shot on goal in open play? Can you inform him that receiving the ball then panicking and booting the ball forty yards upfield to be collected by the keeper does not constitute "showing the defenders a clean set of paws". |
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| Charles Stevenson has sensationally turned to Eileen Drewery in a dramatic attempt to score his first Leopards goal. Chazzy, who has yet to find the net in a career encompassing nearly six seasons, has blamed injuries, team-mates, and even gone so far as to persuade his family to build a full size training pitch (with goals), has now enlisted the help of the ex-England mystic to start what he is convinced will become an avalanche of goals. "Eileen can help me take that final step" Chazzy says. "She's all about transferring what you want to do, into what you actually do." In an unrelated incident, Ms Drewery, who at 5 foot nothing is the same height as Chazzy, was yesterday spotted in Ipswich buying a ginger wig and some shin pads. Realizing that he was going to receive a report for the first time in his career, Wills Stevenson launched a bid for on-field respect with a two goal performance on Sunday. This goalfest builds upon his tackle and under-pressure header the previous Sunday. Richard Bryant has shot to the top of the goal-of-the-year charts with his single minded effort against RCA on Sunday. Picking the ball up at midfield on the left, Ricky B carried the ball across the field toying with his marker as a cat toys with its lunch. Pausing only to gently suggest to the referee that he was being fouled, he continued his run to the far touchline. Finally tiring of the attention, Ricky B turned downfield and accelerated past his marker simultaneously pushing him into the ground. Having reached the endline in the right corner, he carried the ball in field and lashed an unstoppable shot into the upper left hand corner. As Captain Inglis says, "It doesn't pay to make him mad." |
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