The interesting thing about this sexy famous Federalist forefather of America, is that he wasn't actually American. "No!" you gasp in disbelief. But it is true! As you shall soon be enlightened of, along with many of the other amazing facts that made Alexander Hamilton one of the greatest men who ever lived, and a true Historical Hottie.
Alexander Hamilton was born sometime around 1755, probably on the island of Nevis in the British West Indies. His exact birth date is unknown. He was the second of two illegitimate sons, and his father abandoned the family in 1765, and when Alex (as we shall call him from now on) was a mere thirteen years old, in 1768, his mother died, leaving him and his brother James in poverty on the island of St. Crois. And to make matters worse, after the death of their mother, their own father, the ass hat, sued them for all of their assets, so that none of what their mother left behind would pass to them. Alex's father goes straight into the Very Bad Man or V.B.M category. They get to live in a small box with only one toilet and no paper. Other's will join his father as V.B.M's, as we will soon see.
Now don't cry just yet for our darling man. His fortune picked up after this crppy event when he was given a job as a clerk with the international trading firm of Nicholas Cruger. His excellent skills and very high intellect soon helped him, and he could be seen running the company in the owner's absence. See? Sexy and smart! Alex was also able to expand his intellectual horizons under Reverend Hugh Knox, who tutored young Alex in the humanities and sciences, and gave Alex access to his library. In 1773, enough money was raised to send Alex to America, so that he could study medicine. And so, begins the really interesting part of his life! Hold on to your tricorn hats and your studly britches, you crazy history buffs! This is where it all gets juicy...
Alex reached America safely (huzzah!) and entered King's College to begin his studies. But about that same time, as fate would have it, the first Continental Congress was being held, and the Boston tea party then took place on December 16, 1773. After the tea party, they passed around the crumpets...haha! Just kidding. Ahem, follwing the event, Alex went to Boston and was convinced by what he saw to support the Patriot side, despite living in a rather Loyalist New York.
When the fateful shot heard around the world was fired at Lexington and Concord in April, 1775, Alex and some of his college buddies formed a drilling company, and then in 1776, he joined the army, and was soon made Captain of the Provincial Company of Artillery. He often fought with the New York assembly for pay and supplies for his men, and even used his own funds to but them uniforms. What dedication and honor!
Alex was so good at what he did, that he impressed a certain General Washington, who offered Alex the position of aide-de-camp, with the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Alex accepted in 1775.
I will now gloss over the rest of the war as to move things along, and we all know how it ends anyhow...right? Crikey, I hope so. Basically, he helped out Washington, becoming on of his closest and most trusted assistants, wintered at Valley Forge (we all know how much fun that was...mmmm...dirt for dinner...), had a bit of a falling out with Washington over the British spy John Andre, (later resolved,yay!) and was generally cool and awesome. Incidentally, it was during the war that he served under and befriended another of out Historical Hotties, The Marquis de Lafayette.
Before I skip to the next important stage of Alex's life, I have to mention the Federalist Papers really fast because they were important,albiet slightly...long winded. The Federalist Papers, written in 1787-1788, were a series of essays, co-written with James Madison and John Jay. If you want to read them you can go here...they are objective analysis's of the Constitution and other very scintillating things like that. Just gives you more respect for the man. Oh, and later on, the political party the Federalists took their name from the papers. Yeah. Now you can impress your friends with all this knowledge! OK, moving on.
In 1789, when Georgie Washington came into office as President numero uno, only one person sprung to mind, only one face appeared before him in visions, only one name was whispered on the wind, only one when he thought about who best to handle the nations treasury. Whisper it with me my friends...Alexander Hamilton. Yes, he was appointed Secretary to the Treasury and September 11, 1789. I am going to gloss over a lot more history here and just talk about Alex's baby: The Bank of America. Which there is not much information about and frankly economics bore me. So Alex was extremely smart and good at dealing with all this. He tried to set up a national bank, but everyone kept trying to shoot it down, which made him sad...awwwwwwwww. :'(
On a note against Alex, he cheated on his wife with a married woman, Maria Reynolds. Unfortunately, word leaked out about the affair, but instead of hiding and lying about it, Alex took the noble road. He came out and told everyone about it. So a few points back, though still a naughty boy. But hey,how many of you can say that you were involved in the first American sex scandal?? That's right, none!
And finally we reach the tragic end. And it is a tragic one. November 20th 1801, Alex's oldest son Philip was killed in a duel, and then his daughter Angelica fell into madness as she had been quite close to Philip. He loved his children terribly, and the losses were enormous blows to him. And previously, during the Presidential Campaign of 1800 between Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr, (who also goes into the V.B.M category for events that shall be explained in the next few paragraphs, and for being a collosal ass.)Alex verbally attacked Burr, whom he had never trusted, making him out to be without principle. And in 1804, when Burr tried running in the New York gubernatorial elections, Alex attacked harder. Unfortunately, this came back to bite Alex big time.
Burr began to challenge Alex to defend his honor. Eventually, Alex accepted the challenge. On July 11, 1804, at Weehawken, Burr, who also is now in the V.B.M category, shot Alexander Hamilton, who was paralyzed from the waist down. He was brought home, where he slowly bled to death, until finally dying on the morning of July 12. He was 49 years old. He left behind him seven children and his wife Elizabeth, to whom he wrote these words before going off to his duel: If it had been possible for me to have avoided the interview, my love for you and my precious children would have been alone a decisive motive. But it was not possible, without sacrifices which would have rendered me unworthy of your esteem. ...Adieu best of wives and best of Women." (*sob*)
Alexander Hamilton was a very bright and courageous man. He was proud and stubborn and made a few mistakes. But he did the best he could and for what he thought was a good cause. And so Alexander, the Original Historical Hottie, we salute you and your incredible sexiness, and say poo unto Aaron Burr for killing you and taking away the hotness at too early a time. May you live on fondly in our memories and may we all say "WOO BABY!!!" whenever we pull out a ten.
Most of the information in this bio was found at From Revolution to reconstuction:Biographies:Alexander Hamilton, just so you know. I am not plagerizing! Credit is given where credit is due!
