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| Here are the jokes that have been handed in. They are in order from the funniest. |
| 2nd Place: Adam Mason (This one cannot be printed properly) How do you keep and idiot busy for hours? Turn over for the answer --> (so you turn over the paper and it says:) How do you keep and idiot busy for hours? Turn over for the answer --> (To c the joke properly pleez c Lisa-jayne. |
| 8th Place: Emma Beckett There was an English man, an Irish man and a Japanese man and they were stuck on an Island. The Irish man tells the English man to find a place to make camp and for the Japanese man to get some supplies and to meet the Irish man back by the sea. The English man comes back but not the Japanese. So they both go looking for him. While they're looking for him, they come upon a bush, they get closer and closer and the Japanese man jumps out and shouts "SUPRISE!" |
| 9th Place: Nicole Bullock A 16yr old boys birthday. His Dad goes "here you are son, have �50, go out and enjoy yourself." "Thanx Dad" He walks down the road and meets his Nana. "Hi! Coming for a Coffee?" He goes to her house. He's in their quite a while and comes out with a big smile on his face. Goes home. His Dad goes "Did you have a nice time son?" "Yeah i did, i saved myself �50" "How'd you do that?" "well you know you had sex with my mum? I just had sex with yours" |
| 7th Place: James Thorpe Did you hear the joke about the wall? I couldn't get over it. |
| 4th Place: Kym Roberts-Jones "Doctor Doctor, Ive got a strwberry stuck up my bum" "I'll have to give you some cream for that" |
| 5th Place: Stephen Tull (I'm not racist but i enjoy the odd joke) Black people complained about the lack of shows on BBC with Black people in them, so they devoted a night to Crimewatch! |
| 1st Place: Sian Jensen There was a man who was very successful. Suddenly he dies in a car crash. He goes up to heaven and is waved through the pearly gates. Here he meets a beautiful woman who says "You can stay here for all eternity or you can go up to success" The man decides to go up. Here he meets two beautiful woman. "You can stay here with us or you can go up to success" He goes up and up until there are 1000 women. "You can stay here for all eternity or you can go up to success" The businessman thinks for a moment and then goes "No I'll still go up" Here he meets a naked old man "Who are you?" the businessman asks. "Hi I'm Cess!" |
| 3rd Place: Sian Jensen A very mean employer is looking for someone to fill a vacancy so he advertises. One scruffy man applies. The employer thinks he's scruffy and not suited for the job so he says "Draw 3 without using words or numbers" "OK" The man thinks about it for a second and then draws a tree. "How d'ya work that one out?" "Tree, three" "Aaahh! Draw thirty three" The scruffy man smudges his tree. "How d'ya work that one out?" "Dirty tree, thirty three" "Aah. Draw 100" Again the man thinks. Then he draws 2 more trees and puts smudges through them. Then he draws a dog having a shit by each one. "Huh? Whats that?" asks the employer. "Dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, makes 100." |
| 6th Place: Sian Jensen A man gets a chance to leave his mental hospital by performing 1 test and a project of his own choice. He does well in the test so all he needs to do is do well in his project. A week later he is asked to present his project. He comes into the room with a tiny matchbox in his hand. He sets it down on the table. "What's this?" asks the examiner. "Wait for it" He opens the box. "spider get out of the box." The spider gets out of the box" "Spider walk back and forth" The spider walks back and forth. "Spider play dead" The spider plays dead. "spider get back in the box" The spider gets back in the box. "Anything else?" asks the examiner incredulously "Yes, I haven't finished. Spider out of the box" He pulls all the legs off. "Spider walk back and forth" Spider stays still. "In conclusion when you pull a spiders legs off, it goes deaf" He did not leave the mental home. |