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Space Corp. Directives:
Space Corp Directive #003
By joining Star Corps. each individual tacitly consents to give up his inalienable
rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities. (yes it says Star
Corps.)
Space Corps Directive #147
Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel except on production
of a permit. Permits can only be issued by the Chief Navigation Officer, who
is expressly forbidden from issuing them except on production of a permit.
Space Corps directive #169: It's never said what this directive says either
but it's probably has something to do with a sacrifice a hologramatic crew
member has to take for the benefit of the rest of the crew. Kryten reminds
Rimmer of this directive when he's mad about the "time-sharing"
idea with Dr. Landstrom.
Space Corps Directive #195
Clearly states that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember
must lay down his life in order that the living crewmembers might survive.
Space Corps Directive #349
Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a shape-changing
chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.
Space Corps Directive #592
In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority
will be granted to whichver officer can program a vcr.
Space Corps directive 595
Allows you to keep people in Quarantine for a period of 3 months, however
if the people can use Space Corps Directive 699 to demand a re-screening after
five days, if no trace of diease is found they can leave Quarantine.
Space Corps directive #597
Clearly states "One berth per registered crew member"
Space Corps Directive #723
Terraformers are expressly forbidden from recreating Swindon.
Space Corps Directive #997
Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe cannot be claimed
as overtime.
Space Corp Directive #1694
During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about any crewmember
whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years before he clocked
on.
Space Corps Directive #1742
No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee
Space Corp Directive #1743
No registered vessel should attempt to transverse an asteroid belt without
deflectors.
Space Corp Directive #5796
No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat
with pierced nipples
Space Corps directive #5799
Rimmer tries to use this as a reason not to let Lister in when there is a
chance he might be a Psiren. He never says what the directive is but I would
assume it is something about the safety of the crew.
Space Corps Directive #7214
To perserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers above the
rank of First Technician must, during panto season, be ready to put on a dress
and a pair of false breasts.
Space Corps Directive #7713
The log must be kept up to date at all times with current service records,
complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew birthdays
so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting
in the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.
Space Corps Directive #34124
No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity
Space Corps Directive #43872
Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only.
Space Corp Directive #68250 is never exactly quoted so I have
decided to include the conversation it was mentioned in: Rimmer That's it
I'm invoking space corp directive 6_8_2_5_0
Kryten 6_8_2_5_0? But sir, surely thats impossible without at least one live
chicken and a raabi.
Rimmer Forget it. Forget I was ever born.
Kryten But sir, I'm very happy to perform the ceremony, but I'm bewildered
as to how sacrificing poultry will clear up the screen problem.
Space Corp Directive #196156:
Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the excercise bicycle in the women's
gym will be discharged without trial.
Addition: There is one Space Corp Directive about removing an irrational person from duty, Rimmer tries to invoke it against Lister in Rimmerworld. Rimmer gives the wrong number (196156) however Kryten does not tell him the correct number, but he quotes the directive Rimmer named and for once Rimmer does not give the correct number afterward.
Rimmer Directives:
The first Rimmer Directive is also mentioned in Polymorph.
R: The Rimmer Directive which states, "Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth than the entire Osmond family"?
Rimmer Directive 271 states clearly, "No chance you metal bastard."
R: Why does he only ever use them against me? Why never against Lister? Why do we never hear him quoting a Space Corps directive to clearly state "No crewmember should floss his teeth with the E-string of his guitar after spraying the entire contents of his sugar puff sandwich all over his superior's bunk"? We never hear that one, do we?
All Nations Agreements:
Only one has been mentioned, it was in Gunmen Of The Apocalypse. I have included
it in conversational mode because it's funnier that way. Rimmer I've no idea
who you are, but boarding this vessel is an act of war, ergo, we surrender.
And as prisoners of war I invoke the all nations agreement article number
39436175880932/B.
Kryten 39436175880932/B. All nations attending the conference are only allocated
one parking space. Is that entirely irrelevant sir. I mean here we are, in
mortal danger and you're worried about the Chinese delegates bringing two
cars.
Rimmer Can't you let just one go, I was talking about the right of P-O-W's
to non-violent constraint.
Kryten But that's 75880932/C, sir.