december 7, 1999 12:54am
Argh. Argh, argh, argh! Grrrrr. Argh. Well, since I want to be completely honest, I should tell you that I slipped again today. I was up all night writing a paper, got done about 2:30 in the afternoon and hit a major craving. Of course I went and satisfied it. I know I could have quelled that craving too! It wasn't a very bad one. All I had to do was say no. But I didn't. And so I reset my quit meter. This time I will make it through two days!!
If any of you out there are reading this and are quitting yourself, please allow me to give you some advice. DON'T TAKE THAT PUFF! It is *not* worth it. I was a good week into my first quit and going strong when I took that puff. I figured it wasn't a big deal. I would only smoke one that night. I mean one or two in a week isn't bad, is it? Besides, *I* wasn't going to be one of *those people* who end up smoking full time again. No way!! I'm too strong for that! HAH! WHAT A JOKE- Because then it becomes one or two a day. And then one or two every few hours. And then *snap* you are a smoker again!! The process is gradual and you don't realize it until it is too late. And you **DO** have to put up with all those nasty cravings and feelings all over again. So, take it from me-IT IS NOT WORTH IT. IF YOU ARE CURIOUS IF YOU CAN "HANDLE" A CIGARETTE OR YOU JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW THEY "TASTE" OR "FEEL" NOW THAT YOU QUIT, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW- NO YOU CANNOT HANDLE THAT CIGARETTE, AND THEY ARE GOING TO TASTE LIKE SH*T, DUMMY. So don't be stupid.
So now it is time for me to start a new plan. I need to become enthusiastic about my quit again. I was extremely excited about my first quit so I think that helped it to last as long as it did. I prepared myself with lots of pamphlets and sheets regarding smoking and such. I had materials from the smoking cessation counselor and Nicoderm. I was armed and ready to fight. Now I need to do it again
I think I am going to look into Allen Carr's book and any other stop-smoking book/resource I can get my hands on. At the very least, reading them will keep me occupied. I will review all of the materials that were given to me tomorrow. I will reset all quit meters to reflect my true quit date: December 6, 1999 at 2:45pm. I will keep it written down and nearby to remind me. And, most of all, I *will* write in this journal every nite for the next two weeks. I think it will be these 2 weeks that will be very critical, so I need to remind myself everyday that I am quitting, even if it is a short hello/goodbye journal.
*phew* Well, I am exhausted. Got a bunch of papers to write, a job to quit, and no sleep. Glad I'm not a smoker!!
-LR
10 hours, 29 minutes and 17 seconds. 13 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2.46. Life saved: 1 hour, 5 minutes.