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| Lord of the Rings |
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| Lord of the Rings Products Aragorn Aragorn is a pair of roller-skates that sounds better than it looks, cures all known illnesses and keeps drinks hot. Legolas Legolas is like a normal pair of roller-skates, but it may have harmful side effects. Gimli Gimli is like a normal knife, but it's laced with vodka. Frodo Frodo is a sock that can be assembled from common household parts, smells a bit funny and loves children. Sam Sam is a video recorder that jams mobile phone frequencies, crushes ice and never gets tired. Pippin Pippin is a DVD player that sounds better than it looks, remembers all of its past actions and has velcro pads on the side. Merry Merry is a chocolate bar that improves upper-body muscle! It purifies water. Gandalf Gandalf is a mattress that tracks infra-red! It costs less than a penny a day to run. Boromir Boromir is like a normal sheet of paper, but it can easily be recycled. Elrond Elrond is a bracelet that shreds documents! It can be taken apart and reassembled in thirty seconds. Glorfindel Glorfindel is an iMac! It makes hilariously rude noises! Bilbo Bilbo is like a normal airbag, but it can be used in zero-gravity. Gollum Gollum is an alcoholic drink! It explodes when dropped! Faramir Faramir is a Christmas tree that can help you lose weight, works in the rain and is covered with realistic fur. Eomer Eomer is a pot plant that makes you invisible, plays the theme from Steptoe and Son and lasts for up to a week. Eowyn Eowyn is like a normal strain of bacteria, but it detects explosives. Thranduil Thranduil is a human clone that dissolves in water and plugs into your samurai sword. Arwen Arwen is an ornately-engraved sphere that lasts for up to a week! Elladan Elladan is a handheld cardboard box that lasts forever, fits in your pocket and tells you when people are lying. Elrohir Elrohir is like a normal human clone, but it can pick locks. Want to look up your own products? Click here: Clickie! |