Saturday, November 29, 2003
freedom

Carynn, you still need your uniform?
          No.
I fold and keep it away?
          Yes.

My heart is singing with joy. Yay!

*

Friday, November 28, 2003
secrets

*

Thursday, November 27, 2003

intrigue

I once visited the ocean as a kid. It has captivated me since. I dreamt about it for nights after. I staged dramas set by it in my mind. Compositions I wrote almost always had an element of it woven in. For the longest time, I wanted to live in a house on a cliff by the ocean. Movies I watched with scenes by it brought back a flood of memories. It made me feel happy.

The strong blustery wind, threatening to blow me over the edge should I wander too close, fingering and tossing my hair about, getting underneath my raincoat so it flapped out behind me like great brown wings. You can hardly open your eyes in that gale. Every wave that crashed against the cliff sent up a spray of brine which would lightly spatter against my cheeks. The roar of the ocean, so loud it drowned out even my thoughts. The blue-grey sky, with nuances only an artist’s eye could pick out. The cold untamed weather of a winter’s day by the ocean built up such an excitement in me. It made me feel free and as wild as it was. I stood in awe of its great display of power and might, enchanted by its magic, mesmerized by the mysteries of its unrestrained, feral, ungovernable waters. Wonderful! Spectacular! Magnificent!

I have not seen the ocean since but have often relieved the moment. The ocean has me bound forever by its inclement bewitchery. It leaves me longing, pining for it. The stake of nostalgia pierces my heart.

*