...heard a good JOKE lately?
PREGNANT PIGS
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon,
etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are
getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer
that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have
the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his
ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are
pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and
will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are
pregnant. The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He
comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has
to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives
them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back
and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the
pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes
that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He
drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good
measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he
wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he
tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to
the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he
cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He
asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the
mud. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's
honking the horn.