When she finally gathered her wits about her, Jen kissed Harm lightly on the neck. “Thank you.”
Harm wasn’t sure what he was feeling. It had been too long since he’d been intimate with a woman. He wanted this as much as she had, and yet, he couldn’t help feeling like a cad. He was the senior officer, he should have had more control. He shouldn’t have let the situation get to this point.
Overcome with an awkward sense of guilt, Harm rolled away from Jen and lay on his back staring at the ceiling.
“I suppose I should thank you. It’s been a long time for me. It’s a little cliché to associate your manhood with your sex life but I have to admit, I haven’t felt this good in a very long time.” He turned to look at her, hoping he wouldn’t see horror or regret. What he did see surprised him. She looked peaceful, contented. One could say not a care in the world.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry!” Jen grinned broadly, slapping Harm gently across the chest before hopping out of bed and walking into the kitchen still totally naked.
Harm hesitated a moment not sure if he should stop and dress or just follow her. Putting on his boxers, he grabbed his robe.
“You may want to put this on.” Harm stood behind Jen in the kitchen holding the robe open. “As beautiful as you are, I don’t think we want to share that with the whole neighborhood.” Harm lifted his gaze towards all the windows in his apartment.
“Thanks, you want some eggs or french toast?” Jen swallowed a huge grin at his calling her beautiful.
“I thought you don’t like to cook?”
“Eggs and french toast aren’t cooking, they’re staples.” Jen chuckled.
“French toast. Haven’t had that in a while.” Harm walked around Jen and pulled out the loaf of bread somewhat surprised at the lack of tension between them. He hadn’t had time to think about it, but logic would tell him this should be a very awkward moment and yet it wasn’t.
“I forgot the milk. Would you hand it to me.” She pointed to the fridge as she cracked the eggs into the bowl.
“Here you go.” Harm handed her the quart of milk.
“Thanks. You want to talk about it?” She didn’t look up from what she was doing. Her tone was steady and calm as though she’d just asked him what time it was.
“I, I’m not sure.” Harm decided to keep busy by setting the table.
“Okay, then I will.” She set the fork down and turned on the stove.
“Here are the rules. I asked for just this once, and that’s all I meant. If you think you’re up to another round when your done eating, I won’t complain.” She paused to look up at him with a devilish grin. “If this is it. I had a wonderful time and think I’ve just raised the bar a little.” She smiled to herself thinking for just a moment about how great the sex really was.
“Raised the bar?” Harm was getting some juice out of the refrigerator.
“Yeah, I think I’ll wait for that good guy, the better life and the great sex.” She couldn’t resist winking at him. Face it, she’d just had the best sex of her young life and she was ready to explode with giddy delight.
“It was pretty good.” Harm tried not to blush as he set the juice glasses down on the table.
“When Monday comes along, we go back to Commander and Petty Officer, to next door neighbors, and I hope to good friends.” She placed a piece of cooked toast on the plate and dunked another piece of bread in the bowl before looking up at him.
She was searching his eyes for some reassurance that he wasn’t kicking himself. In the clarity of after the fact, she was pretty sure that honor of his was going to eat him alive if she didn’t set things straight from the get go.
“Nothing that happens here goes any further than the two of us, and neither of us will EVER use it against the other. You won’t have to worry about me getting all bent out of shape one day and filing a harassment suit against you or trying to somehow use this to scuttle your life or your career.” She put the next piece of cooked toast on the plate and dropped it in front of Harm.
“On the other hand. I have enough faith in your integrity that I’m pretty sure I won’t have to worry about this coming up in a locker room discussion after a ball game or in a fighter pilot ego session.” She placed the last two pieces of soaked bread in the pan.
“Regardless of how it may have looked, I don’t sleep around. And despite my father’s acidic names for me, I’m neither a whore nor a tramp. Only human.” She took her plate of toast and sat down across from Harm.
“I never thought you were any of those names and it never occurred to any of us that you were the type to sleep around.” Harm hesitated, wondering how to ask what he was thinking.
“As a matter of fact, after last night, I’d be willing to venture, you haven’t….well, been with many men.” Harm couldn’t help the blush that rose.
“Well, I’m not a virgin if that’s what’s worrying you. But, no, I never did sleep around. No matter what crowd I ran around with, I wasn’t easy.” Jen noticed a look of skepticism on Harm’s face.
Taking a deep breath. “I wasn’t kidding tonight. It’s been over four years since I’ve slept with anyone. I can count on less than one hand the number of men I’ve had sex with and none were very long term relationships so maybe that’s what you noticed.”
“I have to admit, you had me worried there for a minute.” Harm smiled.
“I knew what I was doing. I just didn’t realize how much I was getting.” She was definitely going to be floating for days.
“You know, Miss Coates, somewhere there is a very lucky man who doesn’t have a clue what’s in store for him but I honestly envy him.” Harm smiled, placing his fork on the now empty plate.
“Thank you, sir.” Jen smiled back. “So we’re okay?”
“Yeah, we’re okay, and as long as you’re wearing my robe, don’t you think you should call me Harm?”
“Agreed, Harm.”
No sooner had they crawled back into bed to get some much needed sleep, than Harm was mortified to find himself with an outright hard-on. Watching her drop the robe by the bedside brought every fiber of his being to full attention.
Despite his attempt to hide it, Jen couldn’t help but notice the large tenting of his boxers as they climbed back into bed.
“Goodnight.” Harm managed to squeak out.
Scooting a little closer to his side of the bed, Jen propped herself up on one elbow, one breast resting softly against his bare chest.
“I meant when I said we could make the most of the rest of the night. If you want.” Jen didn’t want to sound too whiny or needy. She had no problem with this being a one-time thing but she certainly wouldn’t object to having it last as long as possible.
Without saying a word, Harm pulled her close. His lips descended on hers as they once again began another dance. One that wouldn’t end until the rising sun of another day broke into their make believe world.
Jen woke to the smell of bacon and coffee. Grabbing Harm’s robe, she made her way to the kitchen.
“Good morning, sleepy head.” Harm grinned.
“I didn’t think with Mattie having gone back to her dad you’d still have bacon in the apartment.” Jen hoped bringing Mattie up wasn’t a mistake.
“I always keep bacon around. Mac and I used to run together years ago and would have breakfast together afterwards. Every once in a blue moon she’ll still stop by early and I’ll cook her breakfast. I keep the bacon handy just in case.” Harm was a little surprised how easy it was to be honest with Jen.
“Why would any woman pick Clayton Webb over you?” Shaking her head, Jen stole a piece of bacon while Harm sliced mushrooms.
“I’ve asked myself the same question over and over.” Harm’s expression grew darker.
“I’m sorry. That was tactless. It’s just you’re the stuff girls’ dreams are made of.” She took a bite of her bacon and noticed the piercing glance Harm had shot her way.
“Relax, Harm. I told you. I’m not in love with you. There isn’t a healthy woman of any age on this planet who if they’ve seen you hasn’t wondered what it would be like to be with you. I’m just lucky enough not to have to wonder anymore.” Jen snickered.
“Seriously, if the Colonel knew what she was missing...” Jen raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes.
“Okay, Jen. That’s enough of that.”
“Really. You and the Colonel deserve to be together. I don’t know what was up with Mr. Webb, but I do know she loves you. Maybe it’s time you told her how you feel.” Jen took a sip of the juice Harm had poured them.
“She needs her space. She told me to let her come to me.”
“You told her you love her and she said THAT?” Jen was truly shocked.
“No, I was talking about her medical condition and what it would take for her to be able to have a child.” Pausing to look at Jen’s face he wondered how much more he should say. Oh, what the hell, they certainly couldn’t get anymore intimate then they already were.
Quietly he added, “With me.”
Jen spewed her juice clear across the kitchen.
“You haven’t told her you love her but you’ve told her you want her to have your baby? I have to be missing something here.” Jen smiled grabbing a napkin to wipe up the mess she’d made.
Harm chuckled. “I guess I did skip over some of it. Five years ago we made an impromptu deal the day little AJ was born that if neither of us was in a relationship in five years, we’d go halves on a baby. What we didn’t know was that on the anniversary of that deal her boyfriend would be killed at sea and she’d be diagnosed with endometriosis.” Harm turned off the stove and slid the omelets onto two plates.
“I see.” Jen sighed, picking up the plate. Her mouth twisted to one side in thought.
“How long had Mr. Webb been dead when she asked you to let her come to you?” Jen took a bite of the omelet.
“About a month.” Harm didn’t think it was a good idea to tell Jen that Mac had since found out Webb was alive.
Jen stared at Harm for a few minutes. “There’s something else you’re not telling me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to, I can’t.” This was all he needed. She was intuitive enough before, if she could read him like a book more so now, heaven help him.
Jen stared at him patiently.
“I can tell you Mac has since found out some things about what Webb was doing when he died that may have put a new perspective on her grief.” Harm hoped this would satisfy Jen’s curiosity.
“Something to bring her closer to Webb or to alienate her?”
“Alienate, I would think.”
Thinking quietly for a few moments. Jen stared intently at Harm before speaking.
“I stand by my original assessment. Until one of you smartens up and tells the other the truth about how you feel.” Jen picked up a finger and waved it in Harm’s nose. “NO hiding behind pretenses.” She set her hand back down by her side. “I suspect you’ll keep falling in and out of relationships with the wrong people.”
“It’s not that easy Jen. There’s so much at risk.”
“Excuse ME, but have you taken a good look around you this morning?” Without thinking, Jen undid the robe and opened it giving Harm a birds-eye view of her naked body. Without skipping a beat, she retied it and continued with her point.
“I’d say we just took some pretty big risks here. Our careers, our working relationship and our friendship all went on the line last night. All for what, a little comfort, some reassurance.”
Harm hoped he wasn’t detecting the beginnings of regrets.
“And I wouldn’t trade one minute of it for anything in the world. I feel so much better about who I am, what I want, and what I’m waiting for.” She shook her head slightly, “I hope I did something good for you.”
Harm smiled coyly, “You did.”
“Then I think on the grander scheme of things, your feelings for Colonel MacKenzie are worth taking a few risks for.” Jen blushed, suddenly realizing a little late what she’d done with her robe and pulled the belt a little tighter.
Harm chuckled at her delayed reaction. He was a little startled when she opened up like that but he was also relieved to notice it didn’t have the same affect on him as it had the night before.
“Jen, I can’t let go like that.”
“If someone had told you two days ago that you would willingly sleep with an enlisted person in the same command as you, would you have believed them?”
“No.”
“Why would you have told them no?”
“Because it’s against all the rules I live by. I would never let go of my bel…” Harm paused half way through his sentence.
Jen grinned knowingly when Harm caught his own choice of words.
“See, you can let go. This is worth the risk, Harm. I’m not saying blurt it out like a schoolboy. I’m not saying shove it down her throat. I’m saying stop sitting back and waiting.”
“She asked me to let her come to me?” Harm reminded her.
“About having a baby! Harm, keep things in perspective. Just cause I’m allergic to apples doesn’t mean I don’t want any fruits. Maybe she’s not ready to deal with having a baby, because you two haven’t dealt with you two.”
Jen was getting a little frustrated. For smart people, these two were behaving awfully foolishly.
“Here’s my suggestion. You need to do more with her that has nothing to do with the baby deal. Plan a nice weekend. Here in town so she doesn’t freak out. On Sunday evening tell her you love her and you’ll wait till she’s ready. You need to state your intentions, she’s not a mind reader.” Jen immediately noticed the horrified look on Harm’s face.
“Harm? What happened?”
“She once told me all she wanted was a man who would state his intentions.” Harm stared almost blankly at Jennifer.
“There you have it. Call it providence. Now we have a plan.” Jen stood up and patted Harm on the back.
“You mull it over. I need to shower and get dressed before the neighbors start talking about us.”
Jen leaned over and kissed Harm on the cheek.
“Will you be okay, Commander?” Their one night of intimacy was now officially over.
“Yeah, Jen.” A smile broke widely across his face. “Yeah, I think I am.”
Grabbing her hand as she was almost out of reach, he pulled her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek as well.
“Thank you. For everything.”
The End...