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About Our New Selves Blogs Notices Constitution
081025KatchUpKV
Katching up with Kendriya Vihar : Blogs
This page as appeared in the geocities site – for once we have
not changed anything here!
Dear Viewers :::
This is your page. We have filled up with a few blogs that relate
remotely to Kendriya Vihara.
You may like to browse. Eventually we want you to populate these pages
Write about travels, predicaments, first interview, life as you see it – in fact anything that you enjoyed
and experienced – Shoot them forthwith to kvaoaynk at dataone dot in, or kvaoa at yahoo dot com
Happy Diwali and Happy
New Year
KVAOA, 26 Oct 2008 Sun 2300 hours
Dear Dr Acharya,
Thanks for the letters dated 22nd, 25th and 28h October addressed to all
residents and fellow members along with action points arising out of the AGM-7
of Sep 08. A number of important and urgent issues are addressed. Wish you and
your team all success in maintaining a very good ambience within KV as envisaged.
As desired I am submitting below the Profile.
Dr.A.E.Muthunayagam Owner :
D-5/81, 10th Nov 2008
081026GreenKV
GREEN KV
Dear
Editor :::
Early
in the morning today, I had a dream. It is believed that early morning dreams come
true, I want to share with you, dear Editor
Every
powered vehicle going out of the campus shall pay Rupees Twenty multiplied by {the
number of wheels less the number of passengers on the vehicle}. An owner
driving a Honda City alone, thus, will pay Rs 60/=, whereas a TVS moped
with none on the pillion shall part with Rs 20/=
If
there are five passengers in a Maruti 800, for
example, KVAOA shall donate Rs 20/= to the owner, when six Rs 40/= and so on
An
owner is permitted to push the car through the gate -- so it may be construed not
powered -- to escape the penalty. On the other hand, the KVAOA shall have
the option to fill the vacant seats in a powered vehicle with passengers
waiting for a service at the rate of Rs 20/= per willing individual. The
payment will be effected to the owner of the vehicle and the passengers are
entitled to get a 10kM savari in the
progressive route of the owner. Longer rides may be directly negotiated with
the owner -- the final discretion, however, resting with the owner. Luggage is
outside the purview of this by law
Cyclists
shall part with Rs 2/= for every ride outwards -- whenever not carrying doubles
and on driver power. Pedestrians shall be charged Rs 1/= per
The
following benefits accrue on implementing the proposeal :
1
Powered vehicle owners will be discouraged to deploy their machines -- so
contributing to less pollution
2
Vehicle owners will be further encouraged to travel full -- that translates
into fewer vehicles on the roads -- and signifies Greener KV and
Greener Bengaluru
3
Consider the ATT advantage -- Any Time Transport. If you want to go to
the town just reach the gate and flag down the first unfilled car. Transport
can never be cheaper
4
Imagine, just imagine the extent of debate we can have on the subject, in the
AGM, Xtra-ordinary GM, in the lawns, in the mall and
in the Community Centre. It means more entertainment
5
Personally I shall station myself at the gate. For a consideration of Rs 5/=
per, I will be available to play act as a passenger for any unfilled
vehicle itching to save money. This way I hope to collect two grand monthly --
which is something considering I am currently unemployed and unemployable
for life
Yours
etc : Sudha Malhotra 25 Sep 2006
This blog appeared more than two years ago, that is
in 2006. Last 2007 July, Dilbert -- yes, of the Dilbert comic fame --
blogged of a similar concept incorporating the GPS and carpool concepts. That
night he received some 1500 comments. Here is the link for those interested:
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/06/how_i_solved_th.html
080824TaleOfTwo personalities
A Tale of Two Personalities
I
guess it was the I-day of 2003. The Community Centre at Kendriya
Vihara had not taken shape. In a stage set in the
lawns, the guest gave his address. In Kannada.
He was a film personality -- we had been told. His name appeared familiar to
me. Of that of a long forgotten comedian
Five
years down the line -- it is the I-day of 2008. I tried to recollect his
identity -- more as an exercise in recall. But failed.
Miserably. There was no clue -- no picture
except a vague clown like appparition. So I googled. Comedian
old film -- was the key.. In fact
there was no record traceable prior to 1979 by the Google. There was no IMDC
equivalent. If there was any, it was privately held for a star admired by
him/her. Nobody seemed to admire my hero
I
imagined the Kannada Film Chamber of Commerce must have a list of its members
-- and there he ought to figure. Jayamala as the
President the KFCC couldn’t give any data
I
googled renowned, redoubtable, famous, popular --
my hero didnt posses any of those qualities according
to Google
Madam
R asked for some help in dimensioning the Q size in front of a group of ATMs.
Specifically it was to predict the number of people waiting [near Sharavati, maybe] to gain attention of the ATM Deity. I
could have easily answered that. Plenty. But
Madam R desired justification. So I rattled some names
Like
Dr Jacobius. The Doctor from the Swedish LM Ericsson
is a renowned authority on the subject of teletraffic
-- but the google had no idea about him. So my funda[mentals] of the traffic theory was
rattled. Then I wanted to consult the only Bible we had been trained to rely
upon
It
was a fat book. The book was written in pure mathematics of the probability
kind -- nobody understood a microgram of that -- and thus it became a good defence for any argument --- when in trouble throw in
the book
The
problem was I couldn’t recollect the author -- again I tried scholar,
savant, expert, source, textbook -- and none worked to pull the name out.
Since he was an authority on the subject I looked into the citations and
the references of many an article -- still no luck
When
even a redoubtable Google cannot work -- I should have asked, say Dr Manjunatha of the comedian of the yester years -- or ask Nagendra for an authoritative opinion on Telephone Traffic
theory. If that had failed too, I would not have known where to go or whom to
approach
It
was then by chance I tried eminent -- and there he was -- P Vadiraj -- a producer, director, twice winner of the
state awards -- Vadiraj passed away in February of
2004 after a brief heart ailment -- there were two obituary references in the
dailies -- and one of them was The Hindu
I
tried congestion -- by chance again -- it pulled R Syski out. It transpired his scholarly expertise was
published [as an unintended textbook] in 1960 for AT & T, a British company
that had transferred the [Strowger] know how to the
Indian Telephone Industries at KR Pura in 1947 [the
first PSU to be set up in the independent India]. When I joined the Telecom
Research later in 1965, it was a fashion statement to drag Syski
to defend any argument -- and it would leave a rival clueless
So if you asked what is not necessarily black or white but read all over -- you can safely respond, it is google, after all
ckd_coffee
CKD COFFEE
The
Udipi restaurants dispense coffee -- that is ready to
be consumed. Like ready-to-wear T-shirts. Is that anyway significant? Of
course! The coffee may also be served in a System Knocked Down -- SKD
condition, to those who desire some programmability. That is, milk and sugar
separately delivered. Make your coffee black, white, brown or whatever. The
Component Knocked Down -- CKD service is a further refinement. You get a
buffalo for the milk and a cane for extracting sugar. You can have never-before
coffee ! Oh Boy ! What a way
to start a day!!
I
was obliged to tell a story to Sudha. Every day. As she used to wait for the
school bus. The bus was never consistent in its delayed running. Some
days it was only ten minutes late. Some other days, twenty
minutes. And less often, thirty minutes. The stories had to be
structured to match the extent of waiting. It was a task to discover stories
that made a perfect fit. But I had my methods. You see I had been trained in
user friendliness, sufficiently, to be able to convert that disad
into an advantage.
Therefore
I volunteered, " What story shall I tell you Sudha, today?"
"Any
story", she said.
"My
repertoire is vast. You will have to help me in choosing a right one for
you".
So
I unreeled the menu.
"Okay",
she proposed, "tell me a story of an elephant"
"What
kind of an elephant?"
"A
revengeful baby elephant, should be okay"
"Tell
me, Sudha, why should the elephant take a revenge?"
"Because,"
she thought for a while and suggested, "the
tailor hurt it"
"How
could a tailor harm a little elephant?"
"With
a sewing needle, of course"
"So
Sudha, You want me to tell you a story -- of a sweet
baby elephant that used to go for its bath every day along the bazaar.
Passers-by used to present fruits. One day, however, a mischievous tailor
pricked its trunk"
"Yes,
of course", Sudha would add, "I shall
suggest how the baby elephant would return the tit for tat..."
By
that time, the bus would arrive. Throughout the time Sudha
was in the school, the story was never completed.
Today,
there is user friendly software.
"So
I believe you wanted to generate some word processing software", the
computer told me.
"Yes,
you heard me right"
"What
language?"
"Say,
French"
"OOPS",
said the computer, "I meant, amongst others -- Ada,
Pascal, Einstein or Clinton"
"OK,
then make it simple so I may C through it"
"OK,
I suppose you like use a keyboard. What kind of a board
have you?"
"A
rugged one -- I suppose"
"I
was wanting to know - if it was QWERTY or ASDF ?"
"How
about a keyboard with letters on it -- is that too demanding?"
"No, not at all.
Only that I was worried about my Font Manager"
"Who
is he? Is he the one who sits in the Font Office?"
"Yes and No.
Do tell me what kind of paper you use?"
"A--one"
"That
is no size. You have to choose from A -- 2,3 through
6. It depends. Say, on how many lines you intend to place on a page"
"Two
hundred, if that is not very difficult for you"
"My
counting stops at fifty five. You have to name a figure within that "
"Look
here, Computer, you seem generous. You sure allow me to have an opinion, so
long as that matches with yours. Tell me if I were to organize all these
things, myself, why would I need you?"
"Mortal!
This is coffee by CKD. You are getting a Designer Version of custom software,
made only for you. If you do not like, you are free to quit this installation
program. And have ready mixed coffee in the Udipi
restaurant opposite"
As
usual my computer has the last laugh. Worse than that.
The computer makes me fantasize it is obliging. In point of fact I am made to
write a complex software -- for word processing or
whatever -- all by myself. To suit the environment in which my master, namely
the computer is living in. And the game is called user friendliness. I hate
licking my computer -- having to listen to whatever it says and submit to the
only option forced into. It is therefore my prayer every morning -- Oh God!
Give me the courage to fire my computer today. I know, one day, the Gods will
listen, understand and act. But till then, remember, the power of the computer
extends only until the length of its power cord. Is that not great news?
[Telematics Magazine of India, October 1999]
010418what's-In-A-Name
What
is in a name ?
Today
there is a middle in the TOI lamenting on the
political desire to rename things? The quoted examples are the too well known
Kolkata, Mumbai and Chennai. What is wrong there-- I mean what's in a name
after all?
I
was wondering about the same, the other day, as I was proceeding on the Anna
Road from Annanagar to meet my Anne
at Anna Square near the Anna statue. Suddenly it dawned on me
that shortly we shall be running short of places, localities, cities, towns,
roads and squares itching to get renamed -- just because the prevailing
political will has since renamed all of them. And then what?
There will be vacuum everywhere.
Politicians
will need to build new townships, roads, dams and hospitals, maybe, in order to
draw attention of the tax payers and be noticed. And that very thought threw me
in despair and distress -- mainly because I want to grow up into a
politician when big and a Prime Minister eventually.
Too bad.
Too bad there are only a handful of these locations that can be renamed. But
wait. Happy Days are here again! I hit at this wonderful idea. What if we run
short of places? We can rename festivities, practices and say the common
things. I guessed daru, for example, can be
renamed as milk, for a starter. And blood, next, as honey. Look! milk and honey will be flowing on the streets of the country
for ever! Diwali can be
called as Christmas. Easter as Holi.
Palace as a penitentiary. Jail break
as jay walk.
When
we asked the British to Quit India -- they concurred and left quietly.
But when we proposed to poverty to quit, it refuses to oblige. Here is
then a flash in the pan -- now rename poverty as prosperity. This new found
prosperity will flourish in the subcontinent. It will never be dislodged!
In
some societies an individual is given many names. Whenever he fell ill, his
name used to be changed. The malady will be thoroughly confused. It had been
ordered to inflict a certain X but this individual happened to be Y. Unlike us,
it has some integrity, it will set itself in search of the evading X, who will
never be discovered, and in that process the recently rebaptised
Y will be saved. Look at the illustrious list of places that have flourished
since they were renamed likewise -- Rhodesia, East Pakistan, Ceylon, Burma,
Peking, Baroda. The list endless.
If
Delhi can henceforth be called as Indraprasth, Ganesha says, there will be no water problem, no road rage,
no pollution and in short no crime. There will be plenty of CNG. Will the
powers to be listen?
Now
that Supreme Court is administering the country, it may be rechristened as the
Parliament. For all the din that we have to hear, the
Parliament may hereafter be known as the Fish Market.
Did
you ever notice -- tooth paste tubes are never small? For the sake of
prosperity, sorry, I mean poverty, -- toothpaste tubes are always large, then economy if not giant sized. Call your office space as
the newly acquired chamber -- you will get more business. The three wheeled
autos call themselves taxis. That is the secret of the success customer
friendly TSR drivers. Call your babu as
the Secretary. He will metamorphose into a respectable executive,
instantaneously. I promise.
Where
do you keep your riches -- used to be the question I have often be asked by my
extremely courteous friends. I immediately recognise
that I no longer live in a chawl -- but in a Treasure
House -- what a wonderful place to live in -- just think about that.
So
you want to know my good name. I have decided to change my name. There are so
many to choose from and I am at a loss to make a strategic choice. I have hit
at the following schedule. On Sundays I shall be known as Bal
Thackeray, Saturdays as Karunanidhi, Tuesdays as Murli Manohar Joshi and on
Fridays Jyoti Basu. On the
other days I shall be my usual own self, namely -- Tom, Dick and Harry!
060830HariSado
Hari Sado
chairs a meeting
[themes with Dunston
checks in]
Hari
Sado was my boss. In those days when I had been
posted to Delhi
"Ok
then! What can I do for you?" he asked, after I entered, took a chair
myself and studied the abstract painting behind him on the wall for a full 300
seconds
"Sir,
you have a meeting" I said
"When
is the meeting?" barked a H[itler]
A[rrogant] R[ascal] I[diot] Sado
"Just
now – in your very chamber, Sir" – I replied
"How
come you tell me just now? I am not even prepared for it"
"Sir,
the Notice was issued with your concurrence" – I volunteer
"When
was that?
"About
a month back"
"How do you expect me to remember
what transpired last month? I cannot
recall whatever happened just an hour back"
"I
reminded you – last week"
"Did
you tell me this morning?
"No"
"Then?
Whom all have you called in?"
"Correction
– you have invited all the members of the Strategic Business
Group, Sir"
One
by one members trickled in. First to announce was Roy,
then Menon and afterwards Gupta. The quorum was now
full
"Tin,"
Roy called me "when was the last meetimg?"
"That
was in October, Sir"
"Did
you circulate the minutes?"
I
said I did
Roy
mumbled he had not seen that
"Here
is a copy for your immediate perusal, Sir"
Menon
said he would also want a copy
Gupta
inquired if there was a brief for the meeting. He was attending for the first
time
"Yes,
sir – it was also appended to the intimation Notice. I have a spare copy,
here and now – should you want one"
Gupta
examined the document and opined "two pages and you call that a brief,
man! – tell me in ten seconds what is it all
about"
"It
is about the strategies for the new numbering plan for the mobile network
– the options, the migration and of the fall back"
"So
you need to fall back also" smirked Sado Hari
"In
an unlikely event of any trouble" I appended
Tea
came. I mixed five cups – one without sugar for Hari,
light for Menon, a black one for Roy and an empty cup
for myself because I am a teetotaller
Then
they discussed the promotions and postings with agitation. The forthcoming
deputation of the senior officers to Germany was the next item in the agenda
"Ok,
gentlemen" Roy chose to get up "I need to quit – I have another
meeting in five minutes"
Menon
and Gupta also took leave similarly
"You
issue the minutes as discussed" thundered a relieved Hari."and be fast about it"
"Yes,
Sir"
I
will circulate the minutes as detailed in the brief – for it has been discussed,
you see. I am sure nobody will have any objection to it. The next meeting will
be called in another four weeks. It will also review the progress made in the
interregnum
"Sir,
you have a meeting" I would say
"When
is the meeting?" would bark a H[itler] A[rrogant] R[ascal] I[diot] Sado
"Just
now – in your very chamber, Sir" – I would reply
"How
come you tell me just now? I am not even prepared for it"
How do I know all
these?
Because that is
what happened in the last eleven sittings of the Strategic Business Group
061029TomFriedman
BOOK REVIEW
An
appreciation of
the world is flat
by Thomas Friedman
I
am grateful to Mr Ramachandran
V [from Malleswaram] for having introduced me to
Friedman with his book [of vintage April 2005], the world is flat.
Friedman is stated to be a NY Times Reporter and a three time Pulitzer winner.
Great
Tom
is pleasantly generous. He believes the Indians would wake up. Some day!
He however refrains from stating the obvious, namely, China may still have an
edge over this country. Wishful thinking
The
high theme in his book is the power of the people. He quotes two typical
examples. The first one is the phenomenon of bloggging.
Ignoring the superlatives for a moment, Tom feels the news is now made by
the people, for the people and reported more precisely. Let us give the
benefit to Tom
Long
ago I was contributing articles to Sulekha. One day,
all of a sudden [was that 2001?], the articles became blogs. Satya Prabalkar, the owner of Sulekha was quick to adapt to the trends. My bragging is
different from blogging. So I stopped contributing to Sulekha
Before
that Kumudam was doing that. I mean --
causing a readership participation. A reality show
like Indian Idols, wants those sitting in front of the idiot box,
believe that they alone select the winners. Y'day
the Gajender Singh's show proclaims 89 lakhs votes have already been cast. Very soon the figure
will touch one full crore. That is to say one out
of every thousand Indian has no business whatsoever, but to take the mobile
phone and transmit an SMS indicating his choice for the most appropriate Indian
Idol, to be next decorated. Short of a padmshree
The
next example Tom shows is that of the Wikipedia -- which has come to the
current shape only because of its customers. To this wonderful list we may also
add DiGG, You Tube, My Space etc -- all believed to
be blessed by the viewing public
There
is a lot of rigging that goes on, however. If we do recognise
them, the rigs, it will be doing those businesses a favor. So we refrain
So
long the make believe was only from the politicians. In UP, for example,
the Mulayam's government has issued cheques for Rs 3/=, Rs 10/= and so on as drought relief. So
we ought to know his government has distributed the aid. What if the 97%++ of
the dole is leaked on the way to middlemen? The game goes on. Now is the turn
of the visible loud media. We hope one day the audience will wake up from their
slumber
For
Tom, Bangalore is India and vice versa. Madras, Hyderabad, Delhi and
even Bombay do not exist for him. Tom finds justification in the customary mamul that an Indian policeman demands. He
calls that a working arrangement
One
would wish Tom had spent some efforts doing more research. If you forgive the
repetitions, it is a good time pass
Not
a target for Pulitzer, despite abundant generosity showered on namma Bangaluru
060729Tattooed
Kaleidoscope:
Tattooed…
MSOs Unite -- Clarion Call
from the Chief
The
MSOs [as in Multi System Operators] are about to install a network of Caesium clocks spread all over the country -- if they would
only listen to their Chief. The Caesium clocks have
an accuracy of one in ten billion. In a layman's lingo it means that the clocks
may lose or gain one second in 300 centuries! The clocks are a technical requirement,
the Chief volunteered to explain, hastily
However,
observers feel the clocks to be a pre-requisite essentially for the commercial
telecasts. The MSOs, today, are helpless [and clueless, too] if the audience
surfs out of a program at the slightest hint of an oncoming commercial.
The probability almost borders on certainty and cannot be ignored. It can be
prevented if the commercials in all the channels are synchronised
to occur simultaneously, with the help of the Caesium
clocks of the stated accuracy. That is to say, the viewers would only land on an yet another commercial after the clocking network
is implemented and not on a different soap, if ever they attempt to surf out of
an already selected channel
The
MSOs are also reported to be working with the TV manufacturers, nudging them to
come out with a new version of the remotes. Christened the Telly-marketeer,
the new remote would prohibit a channel being taken off the selection
especially when a commercial is already active on the screen. It will allow
a change only when the commercial completes its message and a non-commercial
telecast is on
Astrologers of the world
agree on a common code :
The
astrologers met in Bangalore this Wednesday outside the stipulated rahu-kalam to decide on a formal format for
the forecasts henceforth. Called the Official Bhavishyavani,
it will have
malefic predictions limited to 27.4
percent for each sign of the Zodiac. Other benefic forecasts under each sign
shall also be exactly identical in language. To enable this, a committee is to
be set up and it will define the precise expressions to be deployed in any
narration. This will henceforth prevent customers accusing one astrologer
contradicting another fellow professional. Those astrologers who do not
subscribe to this code of conduct will be ostracized
If
a windfall is to be foretold for Aquarians, all astrolgers
henceforth will follow the code and foretell the same benefit and
quantum to each inquiring Aquarian and shall not disclose anything
different. It would then pre-empt the devotees of the conventional Jyotish Vigyan running
from one astrologer to another until they hear what they want to
It
may be recalled that the meteorological pundits of the planet met on similar
objectives last fall in California and ever since the weather has condescended
to dance to their tunes. You would have also observed the forecasts coming from
Simla or San Francisco the same
Barbers,
porters and autorick drivers unite on a common
platform:
If
a customer is refused by a fellow member, he or she shall be refused by the
communities for a similar or identical service -- decrees the outcome of a
conference held at the Island Grounds last evening. That is to say, if an autorick has refused to ply his machine to Mylapore for a specific customer, all other drivers in
Chennai, Delhi, Brighton [in UK], Boston [in Mass, USA] and other places shall
refuse to take him to Mylapore.
The
Conference appreciates the logistic constraints in implementing this code in
practice. To enable the same the Conference has recommended that
non-co-operating customers shall be tattooed immediately at site
The
conference then recognised the employment potential
it can create through such a recommendation -- such refusals and the need for the
tattoos being already abundant
There
was a meek voice that called for decorating an obliging customer, on the
contrary, with a suitable mark or a headgear for his immediate
identification. An obliging customer, for example, could be one, the voice opined, who would go where an auto is ready to ply, directly
or via Miami-Madagascar, and would pay 50 percent above what the meter
has settled in. The Conference, through a voice vote, vetoed the suggestion
declaring such prerogatives already exist in today's practice and a new code is
not mandated for that purpose
Dry
Cleaners, Tailors and Dhobis want a better appreciation of their promises of delivery :
The
dry cleaners today staged a dharna at
the Mount Road opposite the Post office. They want the consumer laws to be
reiterated incorporating their annotation. They insist on a tolerance to be
legally prescribed for all the delivery commitments. If a delivery was promised
in three days, the service provider shall be given time upto
three plus thirty days. If the delivery is not made within that period, more
tolerance has to be extended until the three hundredth day. If the job cannot
be accomplished even then.. [more
to follow after the conference concludes today, tomorrow or the day after]
071104Touched_By_Angel_2
Techie
Guru :
Touched
by the Angel
Then
we had two hand units from Jaguar in the bathrooms. Almost four years old. We
went frankly by the brand image of Jaguar
Promptly
after two years of use they started leaking. The assembly indicated special
jigs to even attempt open the fittings. And on top was the first aid -- a
replacement of the washers -- that came in pairs for the hand units
Ekambaram is a renowned
shop for plumber wares, located near KR market. They didn’t carry any
spares for Jaguar. And they couldn’t tell who would. For once I regretted
choosing Jaguar. If I were to be taken for a ride, I should have chosen a less
expensive mode than the one from house of Jaguar near Delhi!
So days went by.
As also the suffering consequent to the leaks. One of
the baths was fitted with an extra valve to cause terminate the leak
externally. The hand unit thereafter appeared redundant. What otherwise could
not be cured had to be endured -- and the patch work so continued
Then
one day I brought Balram, the state plumber of KVAOA.
He could not do anything to repair but suggested my going to a dealer for
Jaguar just outside the KV campus. Go do consult them -- I was told
That
I did promptly on a Saturday evening. The dealer advised my talking to Jaguar
for relief. It came absolutely free -- I was further informed
According
I made a call to Jaguar IVR who took my kundali.
They promised to react. By Monday afternoon the Jaguar man came -- one
named Nadeem. Who took less than two minutes to
replace both the pairs of washers and make the units healthy again
For all this Jaguar nowhere told me that their devices carry a lifetime guarantee [seven years is that much] and all one needs to do is to contact an undisclosed IVR line. If that is not divine what else is ?
Navigation
About Our New Selves
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Page
1 : is Home : peruse About, control + click on
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Page
2 : Our New Selves [a.k.a the Emperor in
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Page
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Page
4 : shows the Notices issued from time to time [by the Administrative
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Page
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Come share your thoughts and
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