RitesOfSpring1

Disclaimer: All characters, except for Johnny York, are property of BTVS. Johnny York is my own creation. I have fictionalized much of the worship of Cybele and Attis; no offense is meant to those who actually profess that religion.

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[The Bronze, St. Patrick�s Day party. Celtic-sounding music plays in the background. Buffy, Xander, Oz, and Willow sit around a table and stare at the dance floor.]

Buffy (very dour): There�s something wrong. He�s acting weird.

Xander (bewildered): He�s cheerful. No, it�s worse. He�s giddy.

Willow: I think it�s a jig.

Oz: Definitely jig-like.

[Cut to the dance floor where Angel is performing a festive dance with Cordelia. They�re quite good. As they get more into it, Cordelia is drawn closer.]

Xander: Okay, I don�t see both of his hands. Do you see both? I think I�d better nip this puppy in the bud.

[He moves to the dance floor. Angel and Cordelia, grinning in breathless exuberance, stop dancing and turn toward Xander.]

Angel: Is there something we can do for you?

Xander (ignoring Angel, in brogue): Aye, lass, but would you care to show me some of your Lucky Charms?

[Cordelia snorts.]

Angel: Well, I�ll sit this one out. All this merriment is a little much.

[Xander begins to dance, and Cordelia starts to walk away. She laughs in derision as she watches his zany moves. Xander gives up and follows Cordelia back to the table.]

Oz (to Angel): Man, I think you�ve achieved glee.

Buffy (concerned): What�s up?

Angel: Nothing, it�s an Irish thing. I�m going to head home. I�ve had enough fun for several months now.

[He grabs his coat and starts to leave.]

Buffy: Wait. I want to�

[But he�s already disappeared into the throng of writhing, green-clad bodies.]

Willow: Sleep tight.

[After he�s gone, Buffy gathers her things.]

Buffy: I�m just gong to make sure he�s okay. Angel�s acting odd; I must appease my wiggins.

[She leaves.]

Cordelia: I�m going to get something to drink. Oz, Willow, can I get you anything?

Xander: Cordelia, you just offered to do something for someone else? Are you currently possessed by some do-gooder demon?

Cordelia: No, I just seized the opportunity to exclude you.

Xander: Oh, well, two can play that game. So, Oz�uh, I can�t think of anything to say.

[Cordelia laughs and heads to the bar.]

[Cut to the hallway at the Bronze. Buffy follows Angel at a discreet distance but does not notice a blond, seraphic-looking, teenage boy following her. He�s wearing flashy clothes�satin, metallic, not subdued but definitely expensive. Buffy walks out into the alley. Angel disappears around the corner. As she makes her move to follow him, she senses some activity on the other side of the alley. Upon investigation, she discovers a vampire crouched behind a dumpster with a terrified potential victim.]

Buffy: Let�s make this quick, okay? I was kinda in the middle of something.

[The vampire tosses aside the victim who runs away. Buffy and the vamp size up each other for a moment. Commence the fighting. Cut to the mysterious spectator. He watches the fight with intense interest. The noise of the fight is heard off. Cut to Buffy. She�s alone in the alley, brushing dust off her clothes. Gathering her stuff together, she takes off after Angel. Cut to the spectator. He pulls a Star-Tac out of his pocket and dials. After a ring:]

Johnny (in phone): Hello, Ethan, it�s me. She�s perfect.

[Buffy�s theme plays; credits role.]

PART ONE

[Buffy catches up to Angel in the park.]

Buffy: Hey. What�s up?

Angel: Just going home.

Buffy: What�s with you tonight?

Angel: What do you mean?

Buffy: You�re acting really strange; you�re acting happy.

Angel: It�s nothing, just the holiday spirit.

Buffy: Are you sure?

Angel: Is it so strange that I�m not morose and brooding?

Buffy: Actually, yes. Just be glad that a sense of humor isn�t the first thing I look for in a man.

Angel: Wow, I must be a fun person to spend time with.

Buffy: That�s not what I meant.

Angel: I know, just having a little fun.

Buffy: Well, don�t. It�s weird. It scares me.

[Johnny comes up behind her.]

Johnny: And we wouldn�t want anything to scare you.

Buffy (turning toward him): Excuse me, having a private conversation here.

Johnny: After all, you should be fearless, so you can save the world, being the slayer and all.

Buffy: Who are you?

Johnny: Not the Slayer.

[Buffy whips out a stake.]

Buffy: Let me ask this again: who are you and what do you want?

Johnny: To be loved by you, just you, and nobody else but you.

Buffy: Another crack and you�ll know the true meaning of �Dust in the Wind.�

Johnny: Nice quip. Too bad I�m not a vampire.

Angel: Then what are you?

Johnny: Does anyone really know who they truly are?

Angel: I say stake him before he opens his mouth again.

Buffy: Good idea. Although I would like to find out how he knows I�m the Slayer.

Johnny: You haven�t exactly done a great job of keeping your secret identity secret. You�re famous.

Buffy: Do I get my own star on the Hollywood walk of fame?

Johnny: You may get dead. Does that count?

Buffy: Are you going to kill me?

Johnny: I don�t think so. I�m not really the killing type.

Buffy: So what do you want?

Johnny: Boy, you sound like a broken record. I would want world domination, but I think it would be too much work. I�ll settle for an army of blondes, the Carole Lombard type, just begging to serve me in any way they can. But you�re blond; you�ll do.

Buffy: Sorry to disappoint you, but I won�t be serving you in any way.

Johnny: That�s what you think today. Come Sunday, you�ll give me exactly what I need.

Buffy: Really. And you know this because?

Johnny: I know everything about you.

Buffy: I see. And how do you know that?

Johnny: I can read your mind.

Buffy: Sure you can. If you can read my mind, prove it.

Johnny: In 1932, Jean Harlow, the biggest sex symbol in the world, married producer Paul Bern.

Buffy: What are you talking about?

Johnny (pacing as he talks): See Paul Bern was impotent. She married the one man who could never make love to her. Don�t you think it was a waste for a woman known for her sex appeal to marry a guy who couldn�t take advantage of it?

Buffy: Maybe she loved him.

Johnny: Maybe. It must be really hard on poor Angel here never to be able to touch you, to never be able to throw himself into the darkness and warmth of you. Paul Bern committed suicide in frustration.

[He grabs Buffy�s wrist and points the stake toward Angel.]

Johnny (cont�d, to Angel): Would you like some assistance? I�d be happy to oblige.

[Buffy rips her arm from Johnny�s grip and punches him. He�s not even phased. Angel moves in and kicks Johnny in the head. Johnny just raises his arm, and Angel is thrown into a tree.]

Buffy (stepping back): What are you?

[Johnny just laughs and runs off.]

[Cut to Giles� house, the next day. The gang (Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Oz) is seated around his living room as he passes out glasses of milk.]

Giles: There�s more milk if anyone wants it.

Xander: Giles, let me take this opportunity to thank you for summoning us here bright and early today. If you hadn�t, school being cancelled and all, we might actually have slept in. God forbid that should ever happen.

Giles: Yes, I�m sorry I interrupted your slumber for something as inconsequential as potential demon activity. In the future, I�ll ask the forces of darkness to restrict their evil activities to more convenient hours.

Xander: Yeah.

Oz: Demons are so inconsiderate.

Giles: Before we tackle this new problem, was there any slaying last night to report?

Buffy: One vamp prowling outside the Bronze. No problems. But I met a really weird guy in park.

Giles: Vampire?

Buffy: No, at least he said he wasn�t.

Giles: What did he say?

Buffy (wiping off a milk moustache): He knew that I was the Slayer. Then, he waxed cryptic for while, really annoying. He said he could read my mind; he knew stuff about me, private stuff.

Giles: Did he say anything that might give us a lead on who he is or what he wants?

Buffy: No, he was really careful not to give anything away, but he did say I would learn on Sunday. I punched him, and he didn�t even flinch. Angel tried to attack him, but he just lifted his arm, and Angel flew into a tree.

Xander: Angel was with you?

Buffy: Yeah, we were talking when this guy came out of nowhere. He didn�t even have to touch Angel. Whatever he is, he�s powerful. Angel�s not a small person.

Xander: Angel�s not a person. Let�s keep that in mind. And could we not talk about Angel�s size please. I�ve been trying to get the image of him partying down out of my brain for the last eight hours.

Giles: And you have no idea what the guy from the park was?

Buffy: None.

Willow: What did he look like? Was he like a normal human person? Or was he creepy, slimy, icky, oozy, hairy, tentacle-y, horny, you know with horns?

Buffy: No, he just looked like a guy. Our age, tall, blond, good dresser, incredibly handsome.

Xander (hopeful): Gay?

Buffy (gives him a look): I don�t know.

Giles: Back to matters at hand. In addition to the boy from the park, the electricity has been down for [checks his watch] almost six hours now. All of Sunnydale is affected.

Xander: Thus, causing the cancellation of school, and I don�t know why we�re treating this like a bad thing.

Giles: Well, it�s an inconvenience, but I believe it might be portentous of something worse. You see, according to the power company, everything should be working fine.

Xander: Except there�s no electricity.

Giles: Something seems to be interfering with the power flow, something beyond the power company�s comprehension.

Buffy: You�re thinking some kind of trick?

Giles: More like a spell.

Willow: What about some sort of electrical demon like that fuzzy orange guy from Scooby Doo? Or, maybe not�

Buffy: Could it be Mr. Trick?

Xander: I wouldn�t put it past him.

Oz: That�s funny: Mr. Trick�s trick. Well, I�m amused. [He looks with concern at Willow.] How are you holding up?

Willow: I�m hanging in there. It�s tough going cold turkey. I need my computer.

Giles: Do you think the boy you met last night could be responsible? You said you thought he was powerful.

Buffy: I have no idea. I wish I did.

[Cut to a cold, spacious basement apartment. The furnishings are sparse and few but of good quality. Posters of blond, thirties movie stars line the walls, not only Jean Harlow and Carole Lombard, but Miriam Hopkins, Alice Faye, Marion Davies, Ginger Rogers, Margaret Sullavan, nothing but blondes. The dominating feature of the room is a 50-inch television, which currently displays a video game. Johnny is winning. Ethan Rayne enters from the outside, dragging a large Christmas tree.]

Ethan: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find one of these things three months after Christmas?

[He pauses, dropping the tree in the middle of the floor.]

Ethan (cont�d): Life has stopped on the outside. Rupert and his gaggle of urchins are probably quite perplexed at the moment. I wish I could be there.

[He begins to get flustered as Johnny ignores him in favor of the video game.]

Ethan (cont�d): Will you stop that? We don�t have much time to plan. The rituals begin the day after tomorrow.

Johnny (continuing to play): Don�t worry. I�ve got it under control. Give me a break; you�re always on my case.

Ethan: I swear you do it just to *anger* me. Do you know how much we have to do before Sunday? This isn�t a game, Johnny. If you�re not careful, that slayer will kill you.

Johnny: I can handle the Slayer. I did it last year.

Ethan: How quickly they forget. Last year, that Caribbean bitch nearly killed you. Okay, you listen to me. Hear what I�m telling you. This is dangerous, what we�re doing. You are very powerful, but you�re not invincible. One miscalculation, one error in estimation and you will be dead.

Johnny: Take it easy�God.

Ethan: You�re too young. I shouldn�t have rushed you into this.

Johnny: It�s too late to turn back, and you wouldn�t want to if you could. You�ve been living off me too long to start having regrets.

Ethan: You have to focus, Johnny, and for God�s sake be careful. Oh, we�ve made our point; you can put on the electricity again.

Johnny: Heil, Ethan. Yes, mein fuhrer.

Ethan: You could at least be grateful after all I�ve done for you, all I�ve given you.

Johnny: I�ve more than paid you back, old man.

Ethan: Well, you have a busy day. Aren�t you going to get started?

Johnny: I will. I know what I�m doing.

[Cut to Mr. Trick�s lair. He paces anxiously. Spike looks on amused.]

Mr. Trick: Humans can move information around the world in a matter of seconds. You�d think they�d be able to keep the electricity on.

Spike: Take it easy, mate. You have to admit the old place is vastly improved by candlelight.

Mr. Trick: You may be a mindless thug�kill, eat, steal, kill, eat, steal�but I prefer the finer things eternal life has to offer. I have business to attend to. The NYSE is about to open, and the electricity is still out. I can�t exactly call a broker, now can I?

Spike: No need to get personal. One advantage of having eternal life is that waiting is never a waste of time.

Mr. Trick: Maybe not time, but I�m losing money.

Spike: There are better things in the world than money.

Mr. Trick: Such as?

Spike: Killing a slayer? But I guess you wouldn�t know anything about that, at least from personal experience.

Mr. Trick: I�m working on it. Just biding my time until the right opportunity presents itself. I don�t want to rush in half-cocked and get myself paralyzed.

Spike: That�s hitting below the belt.

Mr. Trick: Oh, you have feeling down there again?

Spike: Well, I�ll believe you could kill the Slayer when I see it.

Mr. Trick: You will.

[The lights come back on.]

Mr. Trick (cont�d): And he said, �Let there be light, and he saw that it was good.�

[Cut to Giles� house. He enters the living room holding a book. Xander plays solitaire while Willow looks on. Buffy plays with her yo-yo. Oz stares off into space.]

Buffy: I am so bored.

Willow: Xander, it�s wrong to cheat at solitaire.

Oz: Hunh? Sorry, I think I just dozed off there for a moment. At least, the electricity is back on.

Giles: You could help me in my research, you know. It would give you something to do.

Xander: You don�t do homework when you get a day off school. That�s just wrong.

Buffy: Any idea what our new friend could be?

Giles: No, but Sunday is the first day of spring.

Willow: Yippee!

Giles: Not exactly. The celebration of the beginning of spring can often be violent or destructive.

Oz: Whose celebration?

Giles: Any number of religions, cults, demons, mystical creatures.

Buffy: Oh, that narrows it down.

Xander: So this guy�s going to ring in spring by killing Buffy.

Giles: That�s one possibility.

Buffy: He did say killing wasn�t his thing.

Oz: And how does the electricity play into all this?

Giles: It doesn�t, necessarily. I�m just trying to figure out who this fellow Buffy met in the park is.

Buffy: What about the whole reading my mind bit?

Giles: Telepathy isn�t uncommon. Even some humans have that ability. It won�t help us narrow down the range of suspects. Frankly, I have no idea who he is, what he is, why he�s here, what he has planned, or what he wants with Buffy.

Buffy: Great. That makes me feel so safe.

Giles: Willow, why don�t you look on the web and make a list of ceremonies and rites of spring?

Willow: I�m on it; I have to go home and get my laptop.

Oz: I�ll drive you.

Giles: Xander, Buffy, and I will research the electrical disturbance.

Xander: Say please.

Part 2 of "The Rites of Spring"
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