Ballet Jokes
More naughty stuff:
Showing off what she had learned in class, my sister took a wide second position. She then said, "Isn't this ungraceful? What do you think of this position?"Trying to keep a straight face, I said, "I think it would be very uncomfortable for the man."
(And gave thanks there was nothing she could throw at me.)
Discussing a soon-to-retire danseur's plans to attend culinary school to become a chef, one his colleagues remarked: "He should do fine -- as long as the recipe never calls for more than eight cups of anything!"
Giving a class of adult intermediates a combination involving a circle of turns, the instructor emphasized the importance of concentrating on a "moving spot" (keeping the head focused on a point just ahead in the turn) to avoid getting dizzy. After their first try, though, several students seemed noticeably woozy. "Well," demanded the teacher, "didn't you look at a moving spot?"
"No," replied one dazed-looking participant. "But I'm sure seeing a lot of them now!"
Chided from the balcony during a rehearsal for always seeming to be slightly ahead of the music, a college student/dancer calmly replied: "Well, I can't help it that light travels faster than sound."
Speaking of sounds, a critic recounted this true story of a piece she saw at a dance festival, featuring what she called the most dramatic opening she had ever seen:
"The light came up on three dancers -- a man and two women -- standing in a triangle, looking out above the audience. The music began, growing louder. The three dancers didn't move, but their bodies grew ever more anxious, straining upward as the music built. The tension was magnificent!
"Just then the male dancer raised his hand to his mouth, and called out to the back of the theater: 'YOU'RE...PLAYING...THE...WRONG...TAPE!' The music stopped and the curtain went back down -- but the actual piece was an anticlimax."
Trying to understand the plot of The Nutcracker, a very sophisticated little girl asked: "But isn't Clara sort of young to be getting kitchen appliances as Christmas presents?"
From the Unsolved Ballet Mysteries file: Ever wonder why it takes Frantz so doggone long to make it up that ladder in Coppélia?
...and (asks "Grooms" of Philadelphia) why it takes so long for the little girl in Nutcracker to open up her gift?
Administrators at a Midwestern university had issued an edict that no non-students could be featured in theatrical productions. The school's ballet instructor didn't worry about it much -- until after her student concert, when she got a call from an Assistant to the President. "You've been violating the policy against non-students in productions!" he said menacingly. The instructor said she was sure she had not. "Well, I went through your concert program and compared it to our enrollment lists," he retorted. "For example, who's this Igor Stravinsky? HE'S not registered as a student at this university!"
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